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He's benching me, should I ask him why and have I got a chance with him Watch

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    I met this guy on tinder (we're mid- and late twenties) and we went out 4 times, he's really sweet and caring and there was restrained chemistry on both sides. Last time I saw him, he said he really likes me and wants to meet up again the next weekend - but never got in touch. When I texted on the Sunday to see how he's been, he was nice and positive and a bit flirty, but said he's been really busy with work and would be too the next week. Said he's joined all those sports and activities and he made a rain check for the next weekend, then never called again. So it's been almost three weeks since I saw him.

    Now I know by now it's almost certain that he's either dating other people or simply changed his mind about me, but should I at least text him again and politely ask why he's changed his mind about me? Is there a chance that he might go to a couple of more dates and realise he's not that into them and texts me again? Is it too sad to hope that?:/ He was treating me so well.

    PS: my guy-friend suggested he's got bored because we hadn't had sex yet, but we did make out and I explained that I'm on my period, which he was understanding about. Surely it's easier for him to finish what he's started with a girl than start building from the ground with another one?
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    I thought he was performing bench presses with you at first...

    You should understand that online dating moves fast. Because you don't really know the person, it's easy to move onto another if they match with a "better" person. I would say that after the first date, you already know you don't want to be with them so most of the time it ends there. You've been on 4 dates and he's still interested in seeing you again so you have something there.

    Perhaps you are overthinking, he says he is busy so take his word for it. Message him again this weekend and try to arrange plans.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    should I at least text him again and politely ask why he's changed his mind about me?
    No.
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    burn the bench
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    Don't message him anymore or you'll sound needy. Tbh he's lost interest. If a guy is crazy about you you won't ever have to second guess it. Also, don't sleep with him just to make him stay interested because if a guy plans on leaving he'll leave regardless (:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I met this guy on tinder (we're mid- and late twenties) and we went out 4 times, he's really sweet and caring and there was restrained chemistry on both sides. Last time I saw him, he said he really likes me and wants to meet up again the next weekend - but never got in touch. When I texted on the Sunday to see how he's been, he was nice and positive and a bit flirty, but said he's been really busy with work and would be too the next week. Said he's joined all those sports and activities and he made a rain check for the next weekend, then never called again. So it's been almost three weeks since I saw him.

    Now I know by now it's almost certain that he's either dating other people or simply changed his mind about me, but should I at least text him again and politely ask why he's changed his mind about me? Is there a chance that he might go to a couple of more dates and realise he's not that into them and texts me again? Is it too sad to hope that?:/ He was treating me so well.

    PS: my guy-friend suggested he's got bored because we hadn't had sex yet, but we did make out and I explained that I'm on my period, which he was understanding about. Surely it's easier for him to finish what he's started with a girl than start building from the ground with another one?


    He's just not that into you

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    there's a book written for women titled the same name on Amazon. I think you should buy it...
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    I can benchpress most girls I know, it doesn't mean I don't want to bang them.
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    (Original post by Profesh)
    No.
    What am I losing though? It might be that he's kind enough and actually tells me what the reason was, so I know how to change for the better next time I like someone?

    I just really want to message him and say something:/ I don't want to end on bad terms and just stop messaging
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    (Original post by Tonks777)
    What am I losing though? It might be that he's kind enough and actually tells me what the reason was, so I know how to change for the better next time I like someone?

    I just really want to message him and say something:/ I don't want to end on bad terms and just stop messaging
    Please don't humiliate yourself by doing this. This isn't an interview, you're not entitled to constructive feedback. He's just not that into you. Even he probably can't put his finger on it. Don't change yourself. Just keep trying and eventually you'll find someone who likes you the way you are.
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    Clickbait
    He didn't benchpress her
 
 
 
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