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All girls are shallow? I'm unlucky? What am I doing wrong? Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Right, so I apologise in advance if this is a really long post but I just feel like I need to explain my situation and how it's changed my ideology in an effective manner.
    So I'm 19 years old and since I can remember, I've had issues with getting a girlfriend and finding love.
    Yes, I know 19 is young and I'm an idiot for worrying about it this so soon but in a world where 14 year olds are going to house parties, getting laid and getting into relationships - when you're older and that's never happened it's tricky to not feel like something's wrong.
    I've had a lot of bad luck with girls:
    For example, one girl was one of the girls I'd known since we were little kids and I asked her out in the region of year 9/10. She denied me and then started dating this guy who allegedly raped her.
    Next whist abroad where I spend half of my time due to work, I met this girl who seemed amazing and I invited her on a cool boat trip which she agreed for weeks and then last minute she cancelled and went to Greece. Next year she got back with her ex boyfriend who ended up dumping her so he could play football with his mates more often (bare in mind this was the same year her parents got divorced)
    We come to one of the most difficult now because this girl was the first girl who told me that she liked me back. We would FaceTime every night and tell each other that we love each other and then one night she begged me to call her and when I did she was in a mad frenzy of depression and threatened to kill herself, even going as far as to tie a wire around her neck. Naturally, I do all I can and eventually manage to save her life.
    After that she didn't speak to me for about 6 months and recently she got back in touch because, surprise surprise - she needed me again. She told me that she got with some guy she liked but after she gave up her virginity to him, he blocked her on social media and called her a ***** whilst telling her that she was only used for sex.
    I got through all these situations because everyone around me assured me that it was because of the place I lived being all snobby and enclosed and that once I get to university, things will all be different.
    Now I'm at University - been here for 32 days and the first girl I meet became my first friend and I remained gentleman because she had a boyfriend. She even commented that I was the only one who didn't obsess over looking at her breasts on a secondly basis.
    Whilst away, she cheated on her boyfriend with someone else in the friendship group and he ended up just using her for sex but then I had a notion. Can anyone blame him? She cheated...so surely from his point of view, being romantically involved with her would just be a mistake as if she cheated on her ex with him then she'd be willing to do the same? A known cheater doesn't exactly scream girlfriend material.
    She then decided to hook up with some random guy and they're having a fling now. I didn't have romantic feelings for her though but I just feel that in a meritocratic society, I would have got with her and she'd have been spared of all that pain.
    Same with all the girls spoken about in this post. I KNOW that if they'd given me a chance then big issues could have been completely avoided but now I feel like it's turned me into a bad person.
    I feel like a guy stood outside a volcano, telling people not to jump in but they all do anyway...So now it's at a stage where i've lost all empathy for girls with vile and horrible boyfriends because in a way it feels like karma...they probably rejected and ignored so many great guys out there for some good looking **** boy so why shouldn't there be repercussions? Yes, they have a choice but all choices have consequences.
    I'll accept if you think I'm whining or if I sound like an entitled incel but honestly, now I know i'm not even a nice guy because all these experiences have given me such controversial views on girls.
    I met one girl though who seems brilliant, every time I talk to her I get really happy and she's agreed to go on a date with me on Thursday so it looks like things are getting better finally but given all that's happened: can anyone blame me for being paranoid? I would love to believe that this is finally what I've been waiting for but I'm petrified that it'll go wrong again and then I'm scared that that'll make me a worse person.
    So I suppose my questions are in the title but this background information is essential to answer them. Thank you
    • #2
    #2

    I've been assaulted, harassed, raped, manipulated, and used in a multitude of ways, yet even I'm not as sceptical of the opposite sex as you are.

    You're generalising what you've experienced with a few girls to apply to us all, and projecting your insecurities to the new girls you meet. People are fickle and make bad (in hindsight) choices all the time. You just have to get over the disappointment, move on, and meet new people without dragging all your baggage along. Having bad luck with a few girls does *not* give you the right to be a "not a nice guy" to girls you'll meet in the present and future.
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    • #3
    #3

    Those girls don't sound like relationship material anyway. Plus it's not like any of them actually went out with you, you're looking too deep into it.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've been assaulted, harassed, raped, manipulated, and used in a multitude of ways, yet even I'm not as sceptical of the opposite sex as you are.

    You're generalising what you've experienced with a few girls to apply to us all, and projecting your insecurities to the new girls you meet. People are fickle and make bad (in hindsight) choices all the time. You just have to get over the disappointment, move on, and meet new people without dragging all your baggage along. Having bad luck with a few girls does *not* give you the right to be a "not a nice guy" to girls you'll meet in the present and future.
    Yeah thank you, I know I'm an idiot but I suppose I'm too close minded now. I'm so sorry those things have happened to you but thank you for taking the time to respond
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Those girls don't sound like relationship material anyway. Plus it's not like any of them actually went out with you, you're looking too deep into it.
    Yeah both them are fair points. Thank you, just wish I had one chance though but hopefully this week will go well
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    Are all Germans Nazis?

    You sound like you've a horrific run of luck.

    I wouldn't go looking for relationships at uni, try and take the emotion out of it. If you find someone who wants a relationship, great.
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    19
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    Most are.
    • #4
    #4

    thats nothing, try being 31 and never even been on a date or kissed
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    As previously stated, you've had some bad luck with the ladies. This, however, doesn't mean that all girls are cut from the same cloth or will behave in such a way.

    Also, a lot of guys that don't seem to be successful with women will put down those that are by dubbing them '*******s' 'fvckboys', and the rest, when in actual fact, most aren't. They just have the confidence that the bitter guys don't.

    Anyway, in the case of your situation, I would keep an open mind and leave the past in the past - the last thing you want of for it to hold you back on future endeavours when meeting more women.

    You got this.
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    10
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    Nice guy alert!! Knight in shining armour! If only the dumb ****** would see that you're the one that can rid their hearts off every pain known to man.
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