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Is it wrong to admit feelings to a girl if she's in a relationship? Watch

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    Firstly, tell her, why live your life not knowing. She could feel the same way but if she doesn't you can move on.
    Secondly, you're not actually trying to break them up your just explaining to her why this is a difficult situation for you and why you have been distant.
    If it was me I would rather know.
    Whats the worst that could happen?




    (Original post by Woeful)
    So last year me and this girl ended up getting proper close towards the end of my last year in uni. She'd previously gone out with a guy I knew and he was an acquaintance so she was kinda off limits but I was ok with that as I was only interested in being friends anyway.

    During the year we got REAL close, I mean we didn't have sex but aside from that we were practically in a relationship, we would see each other every other day and constantly take each other out for "dates" like we would take each other out for drinks, restaurants, films and hang around town etc practically everything a couple does.

    Everyone thought we were dating. She's introduced me to numerous members of her family, even invited me to her graduation with her mum when she only had two guest passes. I got to know her better than I'd ever known anyone in my life, told her stuff I'd never told anyone. She's literally the only girl who's ever understood me as a person and actually liked me for who I am.

    Near the end of the year she tells me she has some news and there's a guy she's started seeing and my heart kinda sunk. I think there's was an unspoken thing with us that eventually we'd both end up in relationships but still be friends throughout - but I didn't anticipate getting feels.

    Fast forward a few months they're offficialy boyfriend and girlfriend.

    She invited me up in September for a party and things have definitely changed, we're not like we used to be. I spent most of the party trying to avoid talking to her. She asks me If something's up and I tell her I'm tired.

    Anyway since the party I've just avoided contacting her like I used to as I accept the only way I'm gonna be able to get over her is by distancing myself. So for four weeks I refuse to message/call her.

    Today she sends me a message asking how I'm doing and how much she misses me and that she wants to go for drinks, coincidentally I was going to be going up to uni to see some friends for a few days. (She's doing a post grad and I've graduated btw).

    I'm thinking to tell her that I realised I had feelings for her and accept that our friendship isn't going to be the same now. Think it's the only way I can move forward you understand ? It's not even like I want to split her and her boyfriend up, I want her to be happy. But my feelings are kinda eating me up inside.
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    You had so much time to make it official and tell her how you felt. You waited and paid the price, despite already being close.
    Tell her how you feel, if it is mutual, she will leave her bf for you and that is cool- since it is her choice. Maybe she thinks your not interested since never really asked her out.
    Tell her. If she isn't into you. Walk away and phase her out of your life and move on. Atleast you have closure and you can move on and find someone else. Maybe she will come back to you. In which case you hit your jackpot (by wrecking her relationship- but that doesnt matter tbh; she prefers you)

    If you get feelings for someone and try to stay just friends- it NEVER works out well. It's depressing seeing someone you want with someone else by the sound of it, and makes it harder to move on.

    If she chooses to stay with her bf, you need to choose yourself, cut her out and move on. Simple as tbh.
    • #5
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    (Original post by Woeful)
    I kinda want to keep her in my life though. We promised not to stop talking to each other if we ended up in a relationship way way back.

    I think I have two options: either cut her out completely and regret it for ever or tell her how I feel so at least I have it off my chest and we can hopefully stay friends from a distance.
    Not gonna lie, but I don't think you really need to cut her off completely. She clearly means something to you and if you cut her off out then there will be a gap in your life. The fact that she messaged you and said that she missed you also shows that you do mean something to her as well. However if y'all made that promise to each other about "not to stop talking to each other if you end up in a relationship" and you did, then dude, you low key broke that promise. Don't stop talking to her cause she's in a relationship. If the relationship doesn't work out and you're still there for her as a friend then at least she'll know that you're someone who won't just leave when things don't go your way or when the road gets kinda rough. To be honest, mostly all girls like someone where they know that they won't go running off then "things get too hard" for them or the next person.
    BASCALLY, don't tell her about yo feelings, and be there as her friend
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Not gonna lie, but I don't think you really need to cut her off completely. She clearly means something to you and if you cut her off out then there will be a gap in your life. The fact that she messaged you and said that she missed you also shows that you do mean something to her as well. However if y'all made that promise to each other about "not to stop talking to each other if you end up in a relationship" and you did, then dude, you low key broke that promise. Don't stop talking to her cause she's in a relationship. If the relationship doesn't work out and you're still there for her as a friend then at least she'll know that you're someone who won't just leave when things don't go your way or when the road gets kinda rough. To be honest, mostly all girls like someone where they know that they won't go running off then "things get too hard" for them or the next person.
    BASCALLY, don't tell her about yo feelings, and be there as her friend
    So I'm meant to practically be a cuckold and watch while she screws someone else ?

    Realised how pathetic I've been tbh of course a girl will like it if they can have someone bend over backwards for them and not expect anything in return. All she really misses is the attention she used to get from me.

    Still going to remain friends with her but at a distance.
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by Woeful)
    So I'm meant to practically be a cuckold and watch while she screws someone else ?

    Realised how pathetic I've been tbh of course a girl will like it if they can have someone bend over backwards for them and not expect anything in return. All she really misses is the attention she used to get from me.

    Still going to remain friends with her but at a distance.
    Nahh you don't have to be a cuckold, which i'm pretty sure you are not seeing as you aren't her husband or boyfriend while she's gone off with someone else and you're not having a sexual relationship with her right now.

    Welpp, girls do like that but I feel like it has to be a two way thing rather than one way because if only the one person is doing all they can for the next person, making the effort and still not getting anything in return for it, if it carries on for a good while then tbh you're kinda getting used because of your kindness and how much you care and that shouldn't be happening in any sort of relationship. Also, if she just misses the attention she used to get from you then ngl, that doesn't sound like a healthy friendship.

    But you do what you is best for you though, love can twist you around in many directions so you gotta be careful and think about whether any of this will benefit or disadvantage you in the future.
 
 
 
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