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    Hi, basically I go to the University of Lincoln, and I thought I was getting along with both my flat and my neighbors who I go out with often. Because of this i just assumed I was living with them. And told them that I wanted to be living with them and they said this was fine. But a few days ago one of the boys I was living with said that I can't live with them anymore because there are too many people in the house. But then I'm thinking why are you just kicking me out of the house and keeping everyone else. Couldn't we just split into two different houses instead of kicking out just because apparently there's no more space.

    I am a really paranoid person so obviously, this made me think that they probably don't like me as much as I like them, or maybe I'm doing something that they don't like so they don't want to live with me next year. Not going to lie it made me feel like sh*t and I've been crying a lot, cause now I feel like crap every time they mention the house and living together next year.

    To make things worst I've actually got two of my friends from home at the same uni, but one of them is planning to live in student accommodation again (which is not an option for me as its too expensive) and the other is saying that she is living with her flat again. So obviously now I'm panicking trying to think who I'm going to live with.

    I've only been here for a month and I actually was enjoying it here, but now I just want to go home and am considering maybe transferring to a uni close to home so I can live at home. Because I feel like I'm living and going out with people who don't actually like me.
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    (Original post by Suhpav)
    Hi, basically I go to the University of Lincoln, and I thought I was getting along with both my flat and my neighbors who I go out with often. Because of this i just assumed I was living with them. And told them that I wanted to be living with them and they said this was fine. But a few days ago one of the boys I was living with said that I can't live with them anymore because there are too many people in the house. But then I'm thinking why are you just kicking me out of the house and keeping everyone else. Couldn't we just split into two different houses instead of kicking out just because apparently there's no more space.

    I am a really paranoid person so obviously, this made me think that they probably don't like me as much as I like them, or maybe I'm doing something that they don't like so they don't want to live with me next year. Not going to lie it made me feel like sh*t and I've been crying a lot, cause now I feel like crap every time they mention the house and living together next year.

    To make things worst I've actually got two of my friends from home at the same uni, but one of them is planning to live in student accommodation again (which is not an option for me as its too expensive) and the other is saying that she is living with her flat again. So obviously now I'm panicking trying to think who I'm going to live with.

    I've only been here for a month and I actually was enjoying it here, but now I just want to go home and am considering maybe transferring to a uni close to home so I can live at home. Because I feel like I'm living and going out with people who don't actually like me.
    Hi

    Sorry to hear this has happened, but its quite common.

    Maybe you are closer to a couple and can have a chat with them about whether they can change their mind but dont beg. they probably havent thought. Student houses can be big.

    If you are enjoying your course then try to make friends elsewhere such as clubs an societies, but stick at it for 3 months as its awkward at first till they get to know you.

    You can also advertise for housemates as there will be many people in the same situation.. It happens every year and with a lot less warning. there will also be hundreds of people who are isolated and have made no friends.

    Go and have a talk with student welfare. Once you make a few new friends then it becomes easier and you arent reliant on x number of random people you happened to live with. It wouldnt surprise me if a number if them arent friends in year 2. People tend to be super keen to make friends in the first years. You cant make new friends if you hide in your room. You have to deal with the situation and carry on. Hang in there.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Hi

    Sorry to hear this has happened, but its quite common.

    Maybe you are closer to a couple and can have a chat with them about whether they can change their mind but dont beg. they probably havent thought. Student houses can be big.

    If you are enjoying your course then try to make friends elsewhere such as clubs an societies, but stick at it for 3 months as its awkward at first till they get to know you.

    You can also advertise for housemates as there will be many people in the same situation.. It happens every year and with a lot less warning. there will also be hundreds of people who are isolated and have made no friends.

    Go and have a talk with student welfare. Once you make a few new friends then it becomes easier and you arent reliant on x number of random people you happened to live with. It wouldnt surprise me if a number if them arent friends in year 2. People tend to be super keen to make friends in the first years. You cant make new friends if you hide in your room. You have to deal with the situation and carry on. Hang in there.
    Thanks for the reply, I think my anxiety mixed with homesickness is getting to me, I feel better but am still worried cause now I just find it awkward cause every time i'm hanging out with them they are always talking about next year and i feel really left out and isolated from them. I generally thought we were all so close.

    I'm going to work during the summer so hopefully, i'll have saved enough in case I can't find anywhere to stay and end up in student accommodation again. But I've joined a society and have started to get close with people on my course so hopefully, that can build into something positive.
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    (Original post by Suhpav)
    Thanks for the reply, I think my anxiety mixed with homesickness is getting to me, I feel better but am still worried cause now I just find it awkward cause every time i'm hanging out with them they are always talking about next year and i feel really left out and isolated from them. I generally thought we were all so close.

    I'm going to work during the summer so hopefully, i'll have saved enough in case I can't find anywhere to stay and end up in student accommodation again. But I've joined a society and have started to get close with people on my course so hopefully, that can build into something positive.
    If it gets really ad then ask accommodation about moving out. Sometimes they have a period where people can ask for swaps etc, but it might be no better in any new place.

    I really do understand how awkward and isolating it must feel but it happens every year. Try more than one society, do two or three till Christmas.

    One you make one friend, then you can get into their network and you will have someone you cna have lunch with. Course mates are a good alternative.

    You will need to be a bit more pro active and nosey in finding out if you like them and then be ready to find out if they have anywhere. Dont be upset if they say no.. Good luck on finding friends an drop me a line in 2-4 weeks on how you are getting on. There will be hundreds if not a fw thousand who wont have made friends yet and are anxious just like you.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    If it gets really ad then ask accommodation about moving out. Sometimes they have a period where people can ask for swaps etc, but it might be no better in any new place.

    I really do understand how awkward and isolating it must feel but it happens every year. Try more than one society, do two or three till Christmas.

    One you make one friend, then you can get into their network and you will have someone you cna have lunch with. Course mates are a good alternative.

    You will need to be a bit more pro active and nosey in finding out if you like them and then be ready to find out if they have anywhere. Dont be upset if they say no.. Good luck on finding friends an drop me a line in 2-4 weeks on how you are getting on. There will be hundreds if not a fw thousand who wont have made friends yet and are anxious just like you.
    Thank you so much, your advice really helped me, i'm just worried cause even my friends from my course seem to be sticking with their flats so i feel awkward asking to bum with them if worst comes to worse i might get a job and save money so i can live in student accommodation again next year.
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    (Original post by Suhpav)
    Thank you so much, your advice really helped me, i'm just worried cause even my friends from my course seem to be sticking with their flats so i feel awkward asking to bum with them if worst comes to worse i might get a job and save money so i can live in student accommodation again next year.
    What makes me sad is you crying your room.

    Lots of people you meet in first term are just fairweather friends and they are all desperate to be with someone.

    Dont run away or hide, but be proud of who you are and make a positive effort to interact with other people. Course-mates and others at uni. they are just a handful of randoms compared to tens of thousands? Dont be shy of asking people for coffee, o food and doing things. They pick up on body language so if you do it with a smile and confidence they will be more receptive than if you are fraught with worry and hesitation. Its a time to learn about yourself and be comfy in your own skin. once you meet a few people then you will be fine.

    It may be a bit much but there will be thousands who havent made enough good friends. Put a note up or facebook suggesting your are still keen to meet new people as a fresher and you havent really gelled with anyone yet.

    The other thing id point out is your flatmates are immature and inconsiderate in the way they did it, but there wont be any malice. Dont fall out with them, but up to you if you want to bong rather than invest in your future friends outside.


    Hang in there and keep making an effort plus looking after yourself. Create enough opportunities and some will fall your way.

    A job will also help you meet more people plus the money might make uni accomm possible, but it will also help you feel in control of your own future.
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    I second 999tigger. I'm so glad I'm a London student so we don't have to worry about housing until around May. If I had to live with the people I was 'friends' with in the first few months of first year, I'd be so miserable. Try to get build frienships elsewhere because the people you live with are the epitome of friends of convenience. Also, I don't know how it works at your university but oftern there are housing 'icebreakers' for people who want to find people to live with.
 
 
 
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