Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Dropping out and reapplying because current uni "is not my kind of university"? Watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    Does this sound completely unreasonable or should I actually consider this?

    I'm a month into my course at a big city university, and ever since I've gotten here, I've been feeling completely out of place. I've made virtually no friends, and the only people I occasionally speak to have no shared interests, the university is on the other side of the country from where I grew up and the culture feels alienating. However, my old friends who went to different universities seem to be having a better experience, their peers seem to be much more "normal" and they seem to be having a much easier time fitting in despite putting in nowhere near as much effort as me.

    Even though I'm definitely enjoying my course, my social life has taken a nose dive and I can't help but to feel as if I'm just not amongst my sort of people, I think going to a nice, remote campus/smaller city university like my friends have might solve some of my issues. but I'm not sure if this is just wishful thinking. What do you guys think?
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    I think the issue is more likely down to you rather than the uni. If you can't make friends at one large uni I doubt you'll find it easier at a smaller one with less people.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Ezisola)
    I think the issue is more likely down to you rather than the uni. If you can't make friends at one large uni I doubt you'll find it easier at a smaller one with less people.
    Yeah I get what you mean, but I've never had difficulty making friends before in my entire life, everyone (from my old area) that I've spoken to about this seems quite surprised that I've had difficulty connecting with people. The people here seem too loud, too "alpha", whereas my sixth form, and most of my friend's universities (according to their accounts anyway) seem to have a much fairer mix of people

    Edit: To add to this, I have one friend who also went to another big city university and he's the only other one having the same problem as me. I almost feel as if people can "sense" that I'm not like them and just don't feel like bothering with me, and I don't know why. I dress well, I'm friendly and I'm helpful, I keep trying to break out of small talk, but I just haven't really met anyone I "get along" with. It feels like it's only a matter of time before the few people who haven't found their "true" social groups yet do so, and I'm completely left out.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Vindria)
    Does this sound completely unreasonable or should I actually consider this?

    I'm a month into my course at a big city university, and ever since I've gotten here, I've been feeling completely out of place. I've made virtually no friends, and the only people I occasionally speak to have no shared interests, the university is on the other side of the country from where I grew up and the culture feels alienating. However, my old friends who went to different universities seem to be having a better experience, their peers seem to be much more "normal" and they seem to be having a much easier time fitting in despite putting in nowhere near as much effort as me.

    Even though I'm definitely enjoying my course, my social life has taken a nose dive and I can't help but to feel as if I'm just not amongst my sort of people, I think going to a nice, remote campus/smaller city university like my friends have might solve some of my issues. but I'm not sure if this is just wishful thinking. What do you guys think?
    I felt the same way at my university so dropped out last week. If you’re really unhappy, drop out asap as you don’t want to have to pay more fees.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Goeke)
    I felt the same way at my university so dropped out last week. If you’re really unhappy, drop out asap as you don’t want to have to pay more fees.
    I’m thinking about dropping out as soon as possible, but how do you go about it? I’m scared I’m going to chicken out when I tell my College I want to leave but I really hate it and my course and want to reapply elsewhere next year
    • Very Important Poster
    • PS Reviewer
    • Clearing and Applications Advisor
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Goeke)
    I felt the same way at my university so dropped out last week. If you’re really unhappy, drop out asap as you don’t want to have to pay more fees.
    Tuition fee costs are identical whether you drop out after 2 weeks or the day before the start of the spring term.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by karatejenny)
    I’m thinking about dropping out as soon as possible, but how do you go about it? I’m scared I’m going to chicken out when I tell my College I want to leave but I really hate it and my course and want to reapply elsewhere next year
    Honestly, don’t hold back. Email your subject head or go to any help service your university has. Just speak to anyone you think might help you and they’ll tell you what you need to do - they won’t judge you. Also, ask your university and Student Finance about how much of the fees will be added on to your debt.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by PQ)
    Tuition fee costs are identical whether you drop out after 2 weeks or the day before the start of the spring term.
    That’s not true for my university. I was only liable for 25% of the year’s fees, but if I had stayed up to December I would have owed 50%.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    • Very Important Poster
    • PS Reviewer
    • Clearing and Applications Advisor
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Goeke)
    That’s not true for my university. I was only liable for 25% of the year’s fees, but if I had stayed up to December I would have owed 50%.
    That could only be the case if your university told SLC that term 2 started in December (or your university had abnormal fee regulations that should have been made clear at enrolment (and if they weren’t then it would have been possible to refuse payment due to unfair t&cs))
    Online

    18
    ReputationRep:
    Here's the thing - you have no control over anything except where you decide to go yourself. If the issue is frankly "other people", that's something completely out of your control. Let's say (for example only) you're at Leeds - you find the people too loud, too silly. You have a friend at Exeter who says "it's lovely here - it's so quiet and the people are really calm". Unless you get on your friends exact cohort, you can't guarantee that you won't move to Exeter and be in a group no different from what you are experiencing now- except that you will have set yourself back a year.

    I know people who have done it because they didn't like the university or the town - that's slightly different in that what they are changing is a known and fairly stable quantity. Cohorts of students aren't/

    Not saying you shouldn't do it if you're unhappy - but just beware that what you're trying to change, isn't something you can control.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    what uni you at if you dont mind me asking
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    Im wondering which uni too? Because I had a VERY similar experience and dropped out a few weeks ago! I'd advise you to think about other factors of the uni - if you don't like the location, the city, the course, etc. then there really is no point staying. There's no point sacrificing your happiness.
    Offline

    7
    ReputationRep:
    Hiya,

    I can't give you advice unfortunately because I'm experiencing this same problem. But it's not only the social aspect, it's the academic one. Sometimes uni is fine for me, my peers are all generally nice and many of them are approachable, but after taking a step back and looking at the friendships other people have, I realize that even though I'm making such an effort, I can't manage to maintain a real, long-term friendship.

    On the academic side... sometimes I feel fine and happy about my course (I'm taking a design foundation course), but sometimes I snap and I become depressed and unsure about my future and what I plan to do with my life. I don't know if I'm the only one who feels this way, but I'm genuinely terrified. Sometimes I wonder if I'm even studying the right thing, and there's really no way out for me because I can't exactly apply to other subjects/uni if I grow an interest in something other than art and design.

    I wanted a gap year to try and figure things out... wasn't allowed.

    Sorry for the rant, that didn't help at all :/
    • Very Important Poster
    • PS Reviewer
    • Clearing and Applications Advisor
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by unistudent99)
    Hiya,

    I can't give you advice unfortunately because I'm experiencing this same problem. But it's not only the social aspect, it's the academic one. Sometimes uni is fine for me, my peers are all generally nice and many of them are approachable, but after taking a step back and looking at the friendships other people have, I realize that even though I'm making such an effort, I can't manage to maintain a real, long-term friendship.

    On the academic side... sometimes I feel fine and happy about my course (I'm taking a design foundation course), but sometimes I snap and I become depressed and unsure about my future and what I plan to do with my life. I don't know if I'm the only one who feels this way, but I'm genuinely terrified. Sometimes I wonder if I'm even studying the right thing, and there's really no way out for me because I can't exactly apply to other subjects/uni if I grow an interest in something other than art and design.

    I wanted a gap year to try and figure things out... wasn't allowed.

    Sorry for the rant, that didn't help at all :/
    Lots of people apply to non art and design degrees after an art foundation. The whole point is to let you work out if it’s something you want to continue as a degree (and to give you the time to experiment and work out if you’re going to specialise in a specific art/design subject).

    What A levels did you do? What would you be interested in studying as a degree?
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Trinculo)
    Here's the thing - you have no control over anything except where you decide to go yourself. If the issue is frankly "other people", that's something completely out of your control. Let's say (for example only) you're at Leeds - you find the people too loud, too silly. You have a friend at Exeter who says "it's lovely here - it's so quiet and the people are really calm". Unless you get on your friends exact cohort, you can't guarantee that you won't move to Exeter and be in a group no different from what you are experiencing now- except that you will have set yourself back a year.

    I know people who have done it because they didn't like the university or the town - that's slightly different in that what they are changing is a known and fairly stable quantity. Cohorts of students aren't/

    Not saying you shouldn't do it if you're unhappy - but just beware that what you're trying to change, isn't something you can control.
    Yeah you're right. I've spent a lot of time since making this post thinking over my choices and trying to understand myself and I realized that this is a bad reason to drop out. I think I'm still going to drop out, but for other reasons though

    (Original post by harry7788)
    what uni you at if you dont mind me asking
    (Original post by dinosaurdoodoo)
    Im wondering which uni too? Because I had a VERY similar experience and dropped out a few weeks ago! I'd advise you to think about other factors of the uni - if you don't like the location, the city, the course, etc. then there really is no point staying. There's no point sacrificing your happiness.
    Newcastle University.

    (Original post by unistudent99)
    Hiya,

    I can't give you advice unfortunately because I'm experiencing this same problem. But it's not only the social aspect, it's the academic one. Sometimes uni is fine for me, my peers are all generally nice and many of them are approachable, but after taking a step back and looking at the friendships other people have, I realize that even though I'm making such an effort, I can't manage to maintain a real, long-term friendship.

    On the academic side... sometimes I feel fine and happy about my course (I'm taking a design foundation course), but sometimes I snap and I become depressed and unsure about my future and what I plan to do with my life. I don't know if I'm the only one who feels this way, but I'm genuinely terrified. Sometimes I wonder if I'm even studying the right thing, and there's really no way out for me because I can't exactly apply to other subjects/uni if I grow an interest in something other than art and design.

    I wanted a gap year to try and figure things out... wasn't allowed.

    Sorry for the rant, that didn't help at all :/
    Yeah exact same situation. I don't want to blame my parents for this but I was begging them to let me take a gap year. I almost feel as if I need to take a gap year just so I can feel in control of my own choices. I feel strangely out of touch with the world around me, almost as if I'm sleepwalking through my degree because I know deep down that I'm going to drop out. I've found out that I definitely like the course I'm doing, engineering, but I still wanted more time to explore my other main interest, computer science.

    And nah, you're rant was helpful. I think I'm slowly becoming unhinged and your post was a nice reminder that I'm not the only one. Being here feels like a prison sentence, and it's crushing to know that everyday spent is probably going to be wasted. I've gotten over feeling out of place and have realized that my home town was an tiny bubble, and that everywhere and everyone outside of it is going to be completely alien. But I still just don't feel ready for university.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: November 7, 2017
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Will you be richer or poorer than your parents?
    Useful resources
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.