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My Lecturers are harassing me Watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Exactly..

    Even one lecturer last year when i did a resit presentation told me that 'attendance is not important' yet this year it seems every lecturer must have heard about me last year and seem to put immense pressure on me to attend.

    I've tried mental health services twice and the two types of sessions i had didn't help me. I've accepted this is my life. I've accepted i can't socialise and i don't care about the future because i'm forever alone.
    It may have been a change in uni policy on lectures. Happened to me mid-way through my degree. Lectures now compulsory. Check your uni policy, but please don't hide behind it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am diagnosed. i have had two different types of help from my uni but non has worked so far. I have researched different types of help and it involves private doctors which the nhs doesn't cover.

    I understand what you mean. But i can't keep sitting alone in the lectures. That's something that is acceptable in first year but if second/third year your still doing that, people would question in their minds. I have overheard conversations (not about me) on how people perceive people sitting alone or being a loner in uni. So it i'm anxious on how people would perceive me as.
    I sit alone and I don't give a fvck. This does not matter at all and no one that you think cares about you sitting alone actually cares. You're there to learn. That's all.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You don't get it.
    I do indeed get it. I have mental health problems and I made my university aware of them at the beginning of my course. I am now in my final year and it has not been easy. I have had 2 heart attacks and recently surgery. I also have PTSD. The university put measures in place and were made aware of why and if I couldn't go to lectures. It's all about communication. It is usual to contact students if they are away for any length of time.
    At university, you have to take responsibility for your own learning. You are not a child. I am nearly 70 and my health sometimes holds me back but it depends how much you want your degree. As someone has already said, most universities have an attendance policy.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Exactly..

    Even one lecturer last year when i did a resit presentation told me that 'attendance is not important' yet this year it seems every lecturer must have heard about me last year and seem to put immense pressure on me to attend.

    I've tried mental health services twice and the two types of sessions i had didn't help me. I've accepted this is my life. I've accepted i can't socialise and i don't care about the future because i'm forever alone.
    From how your describing things your university doesn't seem that good ? Is it bad to predict it might be low in the ranks? There has to be a help line from your university to guide you for this, if not then try samaritans. I don't want to keep signposting you places because I know it sucks, just keep going - you made it through first year and that is a massive thing in itself. People just do first year then leave. Mental health is still an on-going thing and no one has still cracked the code to making others feel better, I know that more than anyone.. Lectures actually aren't about socialising but I know everyone has their groups and stuff. I think sitting in lectures is quite normal if you are alone, especially if you are late and no one would judge you as a result. Lectures seem quite dull and boring anyway, I learn more from reading and using the powerpoints they upload..
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    [QUOTE=Maker;74183550]
    (Original post by Anonymous)

    Everyone has mental health. What has having friends to do with attending lectures? IF you don't attend lecturers, how would you make friends in the lecturers? Are you a bit dense?
    In my first year doing my first course before i transferred to another course in my uni. I went 80% of my lectures. My Flatmate at the time was also doing the same course before i changed courses and he never even spoken to me in the course and often even avoided me when we lived in halls.

    I swear to god let me tell you have to believe what i'm about to say. I have tried being friendly and work in groups and even offered people that i'm a cool guy and lets do something outside of lectures. Guess what? i got rejected socially just like i got rejected socially in sixth form years ago. Basically my shy introvert lifestyle doesn't appeal to people in uni. Even when i used to be the 'tag along' to events and clubs it all stopped too soon because i had two different personality when i'm drunk and sober.

    So when i changed courses i was a first year again and i had reached the interesting conclusion to not attend lectures and just go with the flow. Also i dissociated myself from societies because i couldn't belong. I've now realised this was the biggest mistake in my life and thats why my second year in this uni is tragic.
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    Well, during my uni life I did find it hard to make close friends in class as well. But attending lectures is a different thing. I still attend the lecture ON MY OWN if I can. It did feel weird sometimes when group work comes along and I would have to ask people around. But if you do not attend lectures at all, people won't know you belong to the class and will see you as a complete stranger. Generally, people say yes straight away if I ask to join the group. I don't think those lecturers are harassing you, it's just the general attendance policy of the school. To be honest, I think you should try to step out of your comfort zone by at least try to attend one lecture a day and you will see your classmates and those lecturers are not evil. My surviving guide for university will be " Mind your own business and aim for the best". Your social ability will have no impacts on your academic performance, just keep trying.
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    Would you rather they said nothing and you just failed?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am diagnosed. i have had two different types of help from my uni but non has worked so far. I have researched different types of help and it involves private doctors which the nhs doesn't cover.

    I understand what you mean. But i can't keep sitting alone in the lectures. That's something that is acceptable in first year but if second/third year your still doing that, people would question in their minds. I have overheard conversations (not about me) on how people perceive people sitting alone or being a loner in uni. So it i'm anxious on how people would perceive me as.
    Most people really don't care about if you sit on your own in lectures and the few that mention it either forget about the people they are talking about within 10 mins or their opinion shouldnt matter to you. Don't give them a second thought as they won't give you a second thought either.


    I think you should try the doctors/uni mental health team again, there is no quick fix for this, it will just take time. You get better little by little.

    I was in the same position as you a year ago (albeit my mental health was worse I imagine) and now I am in a recovering stage. Take it one day at a time, even if you attend just one lecture for that day, force yourself to do it (it will be a struggle to first time but it will get easier every time you do it and you will start to feel proud/good about yourself for doing it) and then you will soon realise that it wasnt a big deal like you think it is. Build up a routine a bit at a time.

    Also your lecturers are right in what they say but speak to your departments mental health team too (they should have 1 or more people assigned to help, if you dont know who it is then speak to your personal tutor to find out) then you will get some leeway as long as you work with them to start to make you better.

    You can't let your mental health rule your life, it will push you to dark places. I know you think this advice doesnt work and you'll be like this forever now but you won't be if you work at it little by little, ask for help.
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    (Original post by Tiger Rag)
    Would you rather they said nothing and you just failed?
    Personally and sorry if it sounds silly yes.

    I didn't attend one module last year AT ALL and i passed it.
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    (Original post by mrsoliviacross)
    Lectures seem quite dull and boring anyway, I learn more from reading and using the powerpoints they upload..
    university is very low in rankings but has TEF gold star or something....

    Yes lectures are boring, i have poor attention skills anyway.... Maybe if i had a different personality this wouldn't be a problem.

    I'm trying hard what help i need to get with my mental health but really i have conceded defeat.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)

    I didn't attend one module last year AT ALL and i passed it.
    lol

    You are amazing 🤣😝

    I hope you dont mind answering but what was your first year average
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    (Original post by Seamus123)
    I do indeed get it. I have mental health problems and I made my university aware of them at the beginning of my course. I am now in my final year and it has not been easy. I have had 2 heart attacks and recently surgery. I also have PTSD. The university put measures in place and were made aware of why and if I couldn't go to lectures. It's all about communication. It is usual to contact students if they are away for any length of time.
    At university, you have to take responsibility for your own learning. You are not a child. I am nearly 70 and my health sometimes holds me back but it depends how much you want your degree. As someone has already said, most universities have an attendance policy.
    Christ... your 70.... why you doing a degree? if you don't mind me asking.

    It's good that you know your stuff and you are getting help and sorry to hear about your heart attacks. But i'm stubborn and i'm not open. Remember i am of african descent, black people in general are not open to mental health (not generalising). It's the reason why i can't even be open about anything to anyone.

    I remember in sixth form, i announced i was suffering from depression, the teachers forced and bullied me to attend lessons, at the end i got kicked out because everything had been exhausted even though i had proof of my diagnosis... I can't repeat that same mistake hence why i am stingy to tell lecturers about my problems.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    lol

    You are amazing 🤣😝

    I hope you dont mind answering but what was your first year average
    50% (a low 2:2)

    I don't care anymore, i have abandoned my career ambitions. don't even care if i graduate with a third class honours
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    50% (a low 2:2)

    I don't care anymore, i have abandoned my career ambitions. don't even care if i graduate with a third class honours
    You dont realise you will have to overcome your mental health issues when you leave uni right? Unless you have people that can support you for the rest of your life you will need to go out and get a job, interact with clients and co workers, attend interviews, assessment centres, group interviews etc

    No one can force you to try and seek help from the uni (the mental health service they have their) but you will regret it massively in the future if you flush your life down the toilet now by failing your degree/getting a third if your lucky.
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    grow up
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Christ... your 70.... why you doing a degree? if you don't mind me asking.

    It's good that you know your stuff and you are getting help and sorry to hear about your heart attacks. But i'm stubborn and i'm not open. Remember i am of african descent, black people in general are not open to mental health (not generalising). It's the reason why i can't even be open about anything to anyone.

    I remember in sixth form, i announced i was suffering from depression, the teachers forced and bullied me to attend lessons, at the end i got kicked out because everything had been exhausted even though i had proof of my diagnosis... I can't repeat that same mistake hence why i am stingy to tell lecturers about my problems.
    My reasons for doing a degree are varied. I have 7 adult children and when they all left home, I did an Access Course and got onto my degree course in Criminology. I was only 50ish then, One of my daughters had a child she couldn't care for and I had to take him and bring him up. He was too poorly for school so I home schooled him until he was old enough for college. I sent him to college when he was 16. I went back to do my degree then. I also am stubborn but I pick my battles. It has taken me many years to get the counselling I need and my university played a large part in helping me to do that. I am in Trauma counselling and it is very difficult fitting in my final year studies, dissertation, assignments etc and going to counselling too. But, I have said already - you have to want it badly and I do. My formal education in care was non existent and I couldn't read or write until I was 15 and had to teach myself. I'm not that open always either. Re: group work and presentations. I do neither because of my problems. I have modified assignments put in place by my university, usually an essay or Report. There are days when I am completely unable to function at all but I make up for it when I am OK. I know it must be hard for you and how difficult it is to function when you have so many issues, but you have to look for and take what help is offered. If you really want to do your degree, then you must find ways to get your university to help you overcome issues you have with your studies and work with them. You don't need friends for that. I get along with all of my classmates and have been Student Rep right through the course, but it is still difficult at times. As far as your mental health is concerned, I had a useless GP who was lazy and incompetent and changed my GP about 3 months ago. I made it clear to her what my health concerns were and one of them was my mental health and she referred me for counselling. You need to look after yourself and remember that if you don't help yourself now, your present will very soon become your future. X
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    you appear to have a 'the whole world is against me' attitude. Whilst I understand it's difficult, you need to try to go to your lectures, otherwise you don't really have a reason to be upset when you get kicked off the course seeing as you should know that Uni requires you to communicate with your peers and mentors.
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    Have you considered Aspergers as a diagnosis? The NAS support students through uni.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is a serious issue and i will try and be anonymous as i can if the university clocks who i am.

    The title says what it is. Basically i do not attend lectures due to my Social Anxiety and severe depression and the fact i have no friends in these lectures. I believe a student who attends lectures are there to join with their friends/squad.

    For the past two years I've struggled attending lectures, last year i never attended one module yet i got an ok grade. This encouraged me to try and do this with all my modules this year, But a few of my modules include compulsory group work and i don't socialise with these people hence these people see me as wack, which is fine, i have given up trying to make friends and i'm likely to be recluse after graduating in 2 years time.

    3 weeks into uni and these lecturers have been on my case like never before. One Lecturer after the lecture basically threatened me and said to my face 'you have to attend and not come late otherwise there will be consequences'. Another Lecturer i emailed because i have never attend a module so far replied back to me writing 'I'm afraid, were going to have to withdraw you from the module' like wtf???? . And to make things worse i get this feeling that my uni wants to get rid of me as fast as they can or make me suspend my studies and do it again next year just because i don't want to ****ing attend a lecture, it's so annoying. I even received a patronising email from the Course Leader tagging 3 of my module leaders on how to ****ing attend a lecture, it's embarrassing.

    Truth is i want to drop out but due to African reasons, it's hard so i have to stay and Fight. I don't want to attend these lectures due to not having no friends so what i can do. How can i tell my lecturers to stay the **** back and let me do things my way? i do very well with my assignments and i don't care if i graduate with a third class honours or a 2:2 because i'm gonna be a recluse after uni.
    Well, firstly, be open. It's not just laziness that's making you avoid these lectures, it's social anxiety.

    Secondly - You're completely wrong in thinking that people go to lectures to join their friends. It's about learning! To get through your degree! Nobody will be judging you for sitting alone, if anything you'll get more work done. You need to get help, work on your way of thinking, your lecturers have every right to "harass" you for not turning up. You're paying upwards of £9 a year for this degree - USE IT.
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    OP I was never a big fan of lectures as a method of learning, and I think by the time you're at university the decision to attend should be up to you, although if you have group work to do it's completely understandable that you'd be expected to present yourself.

    That said, not having friends at lectures is a stupid reason not to go. Likewise, seeing friends is a stupid reason to turn up.
 
 
 
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