OK, so I joined a new job where there was a pretty close-knit team, some of them were family members. It was very cliquey but I was more or less accepted and it was fine.
A lot of people complained of nepotism etc and it had a high turnover rate, but I did OK.
One of the guys there (actually a supervisor) seemed to take a shine to me.
Several people remarked on it (it wasn't only me who had noticed)
He flirted with me (and only me, he doesn't have a flirty personality) for a long time but was very immature and always d***ing around so I always played it down.
A few months later he kind of did a 180 personality wise and let his guard down - and everyone saw his immature act was a defensive front. Everyone then began to know him as a really lovely guy. His work ethic stepped up and he got a promotion.
He was a supportive manager, very helpful and kind.
He began joking about me and him going for a drink together - must have done it about 5 times in total in various places.
Once when we counting stock, once with a regular, once with another staff member, once when he was giving me a lift home and once when it was just me and him in the middle of the working day.
He made a joke to a customer in my earshot that I'd probably turn him down.
I started to develop a crush on him.
At a works' night, much to my sober self's shock and confusion, I told him he should just come out with it and properly ask me out.
He told me he didn't see me that way and was quite clear with this. It wasn't ambiguous. It wasn't a maybe. It was a clear no.
It was very humiliating but I figured: just avoid him, play it down and it will all go away.
Sometimes he would give me a lift home, and the next time he did so, I politely declined to put a bit of space between us.
Problem is that he became quite angry that I was avoiding him and started to make subtle jabs. This guy is now my manager too.
I was thinking: dude, YOU turned ME down - how could you be angry?
The whole thing began to make me feel ill.
But again, I just tried to ignore it.
We began being semi-civil to each other.
Then a colleague (who didn't know what had happened) started making jokes about us dating and he was all: "Err, NO THANKS" and then looked at another colleague (who does know what happened) and winked at him.
Which **** me, really hurt.
I don't wanna quit my job, but I can't deal with the blow to my confidence. It's really bringing me down (I've been single for nearly 2 years).
Part of me wants to see if I can talk to him about this, but it's really awkward, and I feel like if he had any sensitivity he wouldn't say that and I don't wanna work for someone like him... but I do like my job.
I just hate going at the moment though and it has had a major impact on my personal life. The whole situation has just made me feel really down - outside of work as well (and I know it's partially my fault for drunkenly hitting on him, but he did lead me on).
I just remembered this time last year before I started working there and how much happier I was.
Should I go quit my job? Watch
- Thread Starter
I would say try looking for other jobs but don't quit till you have a definite back up! He sounds like a real jerk and bit crazy, he's definitely acting immature like a young boy would do if he had a crush on a girl (by being mean and harsh to her). You don't need this! You seem like a lovely girl and the amount of courage it must have taken to have actually said that to him and for him to only be a **** about...jheeeeze what a rude man.
Quit till you got yourself a new job. How can you be happy if your manager is the one making you feel like this?