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    Me and my boyfriend broke up a couple of months ago as he's been violating my trust in a lot of ways. There are many different factors but he kept photos of my friends or mutuals because they made him horny and it made me really uncomfortable and upset. This included a photo of my friend just lay in her garden that my other friend had took, not even one that she had taken herself just an innocent picture of her minding her own business. and another 'nude' a girl from our old school apparently accidentally posted to instagram that he screenshotted. this behaviour really grossed me out and still does, but he is getting over his addiction and I want to support him through it. he said porn wasn't available to him 24/7 so when he browsed social media it was a kind of 'substitute' so he screenshotted anyone he thought was 'fit'. I got back together with him not long ago but broke it off very soon after because I was just too upset to be around him or be intimate with him, especially when I was out with him and one of the girls he masturbated over and had multiple pictures of, even though I know he's ashamed and hates himself for it. I really want it to work but I can't help feeling uncomfortable with his addiction and a bit disgusted by how he's acted in the past by objectifying my friends, insecure that he wasn't satisfied with me etc. , I fear that feeling will never go away??? I love him a lot, he loves me too, and I'm tired of feeling like this. can a relationship work through a porn addiction even when it has gone too far and too personal? My friendship with those girls will never quite be the same and I feel strange and slightly jealous when I talk to them now so I'm scared I'll always hold resentment for my boyfriend and it won't work. I feel like I've bee cheated on with all the bad intent and the lies
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    If it is something that your boyfriend is honestly ashamed off, he needs to prove that he is serious about changing and seeking help.

    At the moment, it will always create worries and jealousy in your life, and it is no good for you. If you are having bad feelings now, it might be better to take some time apart from him.
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    (Original post by Salt Queen)
    Try keeping his attention yourself like having sex with him instead. Unless you're like...celibate or something. Clearly the guy is horny. 😐 poor fella.
    Well we don't live together, he's at uni and before that we only saw eachother once/twice a week. I don't mind him using porn while he tries to get over addiction but he acted really creepily on social media and I'm scared I won't feel comfortable with him/my friends again xx
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    (Original post by cheesecakelove)
    If it is something that your boyfriend is honestly ashamed off, he needs to prove that he is serious about changing and seeking help.

    At the moment, it will always create worries and jealousy in your life, and it is no good for you. If you are having bad feelings now, it might be better to take some time apart from him.
    I don't know how he can prove it, the only way he can 'prove' it to me is by his words but I'll never know what he's doing behind my back and he's hid things from me before but he seems to be genuine and serious about it, if he did change I just don't know if the twangs of jealousy and resentment would ever leave
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    (Original post by liiv18)
    Well we don't live together, he's at uni and before that we only saw eachother once/twice a week. I don't mind him using porn while he tries to get over addiction but he acted really creepily on social media and I'm scared I won't feel comfortable with him/my friends again xx
    I get it, you can't babysit the guy. I think still you should think about your intimacy honestly, and if he doesn't fix up then just leave him Idk.
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    (Original post by liiv18)
    Well we don't live together, he's at uni and before that we only saw eachother once/twice a week. I don't mind him using porn while he tries to get over addiction but he acted really creepily on social media and I'm scared I won't feel comfortable with him/my friends again xx
    using porn to get over a porn addiction isn't going to do any favours lol
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    (Original post by Salt Queen)
    I get it, you can't babysit the guy. I think still you should think about your intimacy honestly, and if he doesn't fix up then just leave him Idk.
    I don't want to leave him i think we go really well together, I left months ago but I was pretty distraught and still am. I feel like everythings fine but then I just feel uneasy around him sometimes, or have a nice time and then think about all those other girls and cry lol
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    Boys will be boys
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    The jealousy and resentment poses a bit of a problem. If it is always in the back of your mind, how can you have a healthy and loving relationship? Maybe the damage is done already, it seems like you have been through a lot. It is a discussion you need to have with your boyfriend.

    It is quite hard to prove that he is genuine, unless you are keeping tabs on him all the time. Some people with porn/sex addiction do turn to therapy. The only way it will work is if you have trust in him, and if it is broken, it is pretty difficult to find again.
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    (Original post by Kravence)
    using porn to get over a porn addiction isn't going to do any favours lol
    No no i know, I just mean he doesn't have a lot of self control so he will most likely relapse and i would be more understanding if it was just about the porn but the way his addiction caused him to sexualise things outside of porn and my friends is the real problem for me. If he got rid of his porn addiction then I'd be able to forgive and leave it in the past but not the fact he hid innocent non-porn pictures of all my friends from instagram and facebook, I feel like I'll always feel a bit skeeved out about him because of that
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    (Original post by cheesecakelove)
    The jealousy and resentment poses a bit of a problem. If it is always in the back of your mind, how can you have a healthy and loving relationship? Maybe the damage is done already, it seems like you have been through a lot. It is a discussion you need to have with your boyfriend.

    It is quite hard to prove that he is genuine, unless you are keeping tabs on him all the time. Some people with porn/sex addiction do turn to therapy. The only way it will work is if you have trust in him, and if it is broken, it is pretty difficult to find again.
    I really really want to more than anything, I'm a very emotional person and I've tried to force those emotions down for months but nothings working, but I don't think I'll ever find anyone I connect with so well I've discussed it endlessly with him and he's explained a lot but the fact he still thought that way hurts me just as much as it did when I found out. Before he told me it was addiction (or realised) he would explain things and I'd say I find it really hard to believe, and he promised me and swore to me, but then recently I found out some of those things were little white lies or he wasn't being completely honest and it kills my trust even more. wish I wasn't so sensitive lol
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    (Original post by liiv18)
    I really really want to more than anything, I'm a very emotional person and I've tried to force those emotions down for months but nothings working, but I don't think I'll ever find anyone I connect with so well I've discussed it endlessly with him and he's explained a lot but the fact he still thought that way hurts me just as much as it did when I found out. Before he told me it was addiction (or realised) he would explain things and I'd say I find it really hard to believe, and he promised me and swore to me, but then recently I found out some of those things were little white lies or he wasn't being completely honest and it kills my trust even more. wish I wasn't so sensitive lol
    I know it seems like he is the one for you, but you are still young, you have a lot of time to meet new people. You may meet someone you connect with more! I think at the moment, he can't make you happy.

    If it is meant to be, maybe you will find yourselves in each other's lives further on in the future, and you are able to put your past feelings and hurt aside, and his behaviour has changed.

    I don't think it is something that you need to cling on to, you deserve to be happy.
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    (Original post by cheesecakelove)
    I know it seems like he is the one for you, but you are still young, you have a lot of time to meet new people. You may meet someone you connect with more! I think at the moment, he can't make you happy.

    If it is meant to be, maybe you will find yourselves in each other's lives further on in the future, and you are able to put your past feelings and hurt aside, and his behaviour has changed.

    I don't think it is something that you need to cling on to, you deserve to be happy.
    That's a really nice way of thinking when we first broke up he asked if I thought we could ever be together again and I said probably not but maybe in the distant future, but by then he'll probably have found someone new. He doesn't feel like he'll meet someone he meshes with like me either but I have a hard time believing he wouldn't, it should be the same for me too I think part of my fear of being back with him is that he wants other girls, so if he has time to be single again I'll know he can go and do it if he wants to without feeling like the jealous on-off girlfriend trapping him hehe


    when we're apart I miss him a lot but I'm more confident and less anxious, when we're together I'm happier for a bit but the whole situation just seems to be draining me and my self esteem!! I know it probably isn't good for me right now but the missing him part is a strong feeling I have a hard time not giving in to, hence getting back together with him 3 times....


    I think I'm going to see him a few more times and tell him how I feel, if we take it slow and I don't feel happier after a couple months we can break up but know if it's meant to be it will be

    Thankyou for your advice, I keep having frantic analytical moments but you genuinely helped me see it in a less serious light <3
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    (Original post by liiv18)
    Me and my boyfriend broke up a couple of months ago as he's been violating my trust in a lot of ways. There are many different factors but he kept photos of my friends or mutuals because they made him horny and it made me really uncomfortable and upset. This included a photo of my friend just lay in her garden that my other friend had took, not even one that she had taken herself just an innocent picture of her minding her own business. and another 'nude' a girl from our old school apparently accidentally posted to instagram that he screenshotted. this behaviour really grossed me out and still does, but he is getting over his addiction and I want to support him through it. he said porn wasn't available to him 24/7 so when he browsed social media it was a kind of 'substitute' so he screenshotted anyone he thought was 'fit'. I got back together with him not long ago but broke it off very soon after because I was just too upset to be around him or be intimate with him, especially when I was out with him and one of the girls he masturbated over and had multiple pictures of, even though I know he's ashamed and hates himself for it. I really want it to work but I can't help feeling uncomfortable with his addiction and a bit disgusted by how he's acted in the past by objectifying my friends, insecure that he wasn't satisfied with me etc. , I fear that feeling will never go away??? I love him a lot, he loves me too, and I'm tired of feeling like this. can a relationship work through a porn addiction even when it has gone too far and too personal? My friendship with those girls will never quite be the same and I feel strange and slightly jealous when I talk to them now so I'm scared I'll always hold resentment for my boyfriend and it won't work. I feel like I've bee cheated on with all the bad intent and the lies
    Girl you need open those legs and letttttt himmmm have AT IT! Thats right! Uh huh
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    (Original post by Skuuuudent)
    Girl you need open those legs and letttttt himmmm have AT IT! Thats right! Uh huh
    m8 he has an addiction and is ridden with testosterone he could have at it 3 times in a day and still feel the need to have photos lol
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    (Original post by Skuuuudent)
    Girl you need open those legs and letttttt himmmm have AT IT! Thats right! Uh huh
    😯😱
 
 
 
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