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Do you think that I have no friends? With ADDED QUESTION Watch

  • View Poll Results: Do you think that these people are my friends?
    Person 1 is my friend but Person 2 isn't.
    0
    0%
    Person 2 is my friend but Person 1 isn't.
    6
    26.09%
    Both people are my friends.
    13
    56.52%
    Neither person is my friend.
    4
    17.39%

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    What does it mean when someone says 'chin up'?
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    Please can someone help me with this question?


    Facebook really confuses me - sometimes I send out messages and don't receive a reply. I then get all upset thinking that they hate me. Perhaps a few weeks or even a couple of months later they'd get back to me just to say they were so busy when I messaged them etc.

    On the scale of things, would you say that people who do this are friends? I guess the fact that they did eventually reply (even a few months after I messaged them) and the fact that they were honest about the delay placed them well above someone who wouldn't reply at all. However, do you think the fact that they took so long in replying overall suggests that they don't really see me as a friend?

    Do people generally not reply on Facebook because they are too busy at the time? What would you think of someone who got back to me a few months later saying 'sorry I haven't been in touch...' and just explains that they have been busy? Would they be a friend?
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    Please can someone help me with this question?


    Facebook really confuses me - sometimes I send out messages and don't receive a reply. I then get all upset thinking that they hate me. Perhaps a few weeks or even a couple of months later they'd get back to me just to say they were so busy when I messaged them etc.

    On the scale of things, would you say that people who do this are friends? I guess the fact that they did eventually reply (even a few months after I messaged them) and the fact that they were honest about the delay placed them well above someone who wouldn't reply at all. However, do you think the fact that they took so long in replying overall suggests that they don't really see me as a friend?

    Do people generally not reply on Facebook because they are too busy at the time? What would you think of someone who got back to me a few months later saying 'sorry I haven't been in touch...' and just explains that they have been busy? Would they be a friend?
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    What does 'social' mean in 'You are social...' in this context?
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    Person 1 and person 2 are friends

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    (Original post by Quiz Master)
    Person 1 and person 2 are friends

    QM
    Thanks for answering. Please could you (or others) answer my questions above? I struggle with these types of things.
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    (Original post by Tomm98)
    Thanks for answering. Please could you (or others) answer my questions above? I struggle with these types of things.
    I don’t really know. I have autism and have been told I don’t know what friends are. That was my guess

    I’m not good with social stuff

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    (Original post by Tomm98)
    Hi Anna,

    Thank you so much - this has really helped me!

    I just have a question as one small thing confuses me - how can you be cared about someone by someone like Person 1 but they don't consider you a friend? What's the difference between caring about someone and considering them a friend?

    A bit of context behind what Person 1 said is they first contacted me asking how my course was going. I was feeling a bit lonely/stressed when I replied (I really shouldn't have replied like this, but I was suffering from a few things!..) saying that I had no friends and was lonely - quiet a few times as I had a lot of academic pressure on me!

    Tomm
    Hi Tomm!

    Sorry it took me so long to reply
    In your life you have people who don't perhaps talk to you on a very regular basis, and maybe you don't really hang out with them a lot, however they like you as a person and care about what happens to you and want you to be happy, if that makes sense? So in my opinion, Person 1 doesn't consider you as a very close friend (ie. he wouldn't necessarily invite you to every party he has etc...) but he likes you enough to want to know what's going on in your life, and how he can help to make you happier

    Hope that answers your question

    Anna xx
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    (Original post by Tomm98)
    Please can someone help me with this question?


    Facebook really confuses me - sometimes I send out messages and don't receive a reply. I then get all upset thinking that they hate me. Perhaps a few weeks or even a couple of months later they'd get back to me just to say they were so busy when I messaged them etc.

    On the scale of things, would you say that people who do this are friends? I guess the fact that they did eventually reply (even a few months after I messaged them) and the fact that they were honest about the delay placed them well above someone who wouldn't reply at all. However, do you think the fact that they took so long in replying overall suggests that they don't really see me as a friend?

    Do people generally not reply on Facebook because they are too busy at the time? What would you think of someone who got back to me a few months later saying 'sorry I haven't been in touch...' and just explains that they have been busy? Would they be a friend?
    Hi Tomm,

    Of course there are some people who probably really have been busy and genuinely wanted to get back to you, but couldn't. However, most of the people who take months to reply probably aren't a very good friend. Focus on the people who text you back and who show a genuine interest in your life


    (Original post by Tomm98)
    What does it mean when someone says 'chin up'?
    It means to "cheer up"

    Hope that helps,

    Anna xx
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    (Original post by Tomm98)
    What does 'social' mean in 'You are social...' in this context?
    Hi Tomm,

    "social" means to be sociable: to be friendly and to talk to other people and make them enjoy your company

    If someone told you that you are social, it means they think you have good people skills and you are good at talking to people

    From the sounds of it, you're a great person with a lot of people who aren't your real friends BUT a lot of people who care about you and are your friends!

    You sound like a great guy- don't focus on whether people are your friends or not, and instead spend more time with people who you are happy around

    Anna xx
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    (Original post by AnnaBanana2000)
    Hi Tomm!

    Sorry it took me so long to reply
    In your life you have people who don't perhaps talk to you on a very regular basis, and maybe you don't really hang out with them a lot, however they like you as a person and care about what happens to you and want you to be happy, if that makes sense? So in my opinion, Person 1 doesn't consider you as a very close friend (ie. he wouldn't necessarily invite you to every party he has etc...) but he likes you enough to want to know what's going on in your life, and how he can help to make you happier

    Hope that answers your question

    Anna xx
    Hi Anna,

    Thank you so much for getting back to my questions - your answers helped me understand things much better - I just have one last question that one of your answers brought up!

    When you say that people can like you a lot as a person but it doesn't go as far as close friendship with frequent interaction, how come? If they like you as a person, how come they wouldn't want to talk to you more? Is it shyness or just being too busy with other things to pursue more friendships? I have people who I like as a person but just don't speak to as I feel too shy doing so, or may just have too much reading work to do - could it be that some people feel like that towards me?

    Tomm
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    (Original post by Tomm98)
    Hi Anna,

    Thank you so much for getting back to my questions - your answers helped me understand things much better - I just have one last question that one of your answers brought up!

    When you say that people can like you a lot as a person but it doesn't go as far as close friendship with frequent interaction, how come? If they like you as a person, how come they wouldn't want to talk to you more? Is it shyness or just being too busy with other things to pursue more friendships? I have people who I like as a person but just don't speak to as I feel too shy doing so, or may just have too much reading work to do - could it be that some people feel like that towards me?

    Tomm
    Hey Tomm,

    There are probably people who want to get to know you better and become your friend but are too shy or whatever to do so, so it is up to you to take the initiative and talk to them Even if they didn't want to pursue a friendship, if you talk to them they might what a great person you are and want to be your friend!

    What I meant by people who like you but aren't really your friends was people who think you're a great person but perhaps dont know you well enough to see you as a friend. If you, however, talk with them some more, they may get to know you better and you might become friends

    Hope I've helped,
    Anna xx
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    Please can someone help me with this question?

    I sort of thought that when they said you need to put yourself out there and friends will come your way meant that they are not a friend/didn't considers me as one as it sounded quite passive to me (as if I didn't have any already). Although they did say that if you think you have no friends then you are wrong. That's why I find this message so hard to interpret and work out whether the person who sent it is a friend/considers me as a friend or not.
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