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    • Thread Starter

    I'm a teenage girl who has just started GCSE
    I have a mild physical disability and therefore struggle with a lot of things.
    For the past year I have been feeling very down and like I don't want to be in this world anymore. I have had enough. It all started with some problems in my family in which make me very emotional. My parents have told me that I am not to talk about the family problems with anyone. However, I have been seeing a councillor which my parents don't know about. I find these sessions very awkward as I have speech problems because of my disability. I feel ashamed. I hate who I am and what I have become. I keep having anxiety and panic attacks. I have had exams this week which I've struggled with have two or three panic attacks altogether. I always feel sick because of how down I fell.
    Im absolutely hate going to school and don't enjoy being around anyone. Even my friends I have known all my life. I keep refusing to go into school however a forced. I always feel like crying, but tears never come out. I rarely get any sleep from all of the stress.
    Anyone have any tips or having similar issues? Anyone know weather this is a form of depression or is it just stress? PLEASE HELP ME xxx

    Well, this sounds like it could be depression, your physical disability can be very taxing on your mental health, in the same way that people with cancer for example often experience depression and suicidal feelings. Firstly it is nothing to be ashamed of! You should never feel ashamed of yourself because you are awesome in your own way, no 2 people in the world are alike, not mentally, not physically 😊 Second, the fact that your family is telling you not to talk to anybody outside of the family is concerning, I think that is quite unhealthy for you and I would advice you to go against that, talking with people who you trust is VERY important when it comes down to mental health and stress related things. Because if people know about how you feel then they can better help you, if people know you are really suffering then they can offer more support and know not to push things.

    With your disability you should be offered extra support, this is a legal requirement of schools, you can get extra time for your exam, ask to be seated in a room on your own, have a support tutor with you etc. All of these options should have been presented to you by your school, if they haven’t then ask them about it! If the school try to be funny about it then I would suggest you go directly to the exam board with your situation, the equality act makes it VERY clear that they must make all possible arrangements to give you the best chance at succeeding.

    You shouldn’t feel awkward at a counselling session, but I understand how a speech problem could make you feel that way, you should know that counsellors don’t do their job because they get loads of money or benefits or anything like that, they do it because they genuinely care. They really want to help and they have dealt with all kinds of people, your situation is not going to be new to them and they will understand. If it is really that bad you could always write out the things you wish to say or discuss with your counsellor before your session and then hand them the paper and they can better help you that way then, they will always try to make arrangements to help you and if writing is a better communication method for you then they should be very open to that.

    I have never had a physical disability so I can’t relate to that, but I have suffered very severely with mental health problems, I missed over a year of my schooling in total due to this, I was hospitalised etc. My anxiety and depression were so bad I wouldn’t speak to people and I was a wreck, but slowly, and it is slow, I got better, I am not 100%, but I am not trying to jump off buildings anymore either (dark humour), what I am saying is that time is a friend. But only if you are getting the help you need, this is support from people, getting a good and caring circle around you, distancing yourself from any negative influences. In my situation this meant completely estranging from the woman who gave birth to me…I am not saying you should go to those lengths, but you need to make changes and take action for you to see improvement. I would 100% definitely keep seeing your counsellor. I would also look online for disability support groups in your area, there should be some, or even an online forum that can offer better help 😊

    Just know, you are not alone, you are not in a situation that means it’s all over and nobody can help. You are gonna get through this and one day you will look back on it as a challenge you overcame. Just keep your sights on the future, I know it is hard and I know that words can only do so much to make you feel a bit better. But you need to see that you really can get the help you need and you can get through this. If you really feel yourself slipping then it could be worth seeing a doctor about anti-depressants, I don’t recommend that unless you really really feel like it is over, because they can often have negative effects, but they are also a good help for stabilising your mood <3 I hope you feel better soon hun <3
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