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Boyfriend won't let me go clubbing? Watch

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    Hi,

    I have been with mg partner for 5 years now , we got together when we was 15, and FROM the beginning he has said he is against going out to clubs. When i was younger i agreed and said i would never go, looking back I was young/nieve. I didn't think it would be a big deal... surely a relationship is more important than going out to a club? But now im 20, all my friends are going out to clubs and my boyfriend has said he will break up with me/serious concequences if i went. And to top it off if I got touched up in a club he said it would be my fault for putting myself in that environment and he wouldn't be able to deal with it. Im constantly finding myself making excuses as to why i cant go out, and even if my boyfriend did say i could go out, i would be scared ??? What if i got touched up?? Now i am happy with him and i dont think going to a club is worth sacrificingmy relationship but i jusy dont understand? All my friends have bfs and they can go??? Is this wrong???? What should i do??? I want to go out and have fun but i love mt boyfriend to pieces 😔 my bf always holds it against me that i have said before i wouldnt go and that he has always been this way nothing will change.
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    he seems a bit insecure; why doesn't he go to the club with you?
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    You shouldn't feel like that. You have been 5 years together, you should trust and respect each other. Explain to him your needs, maybe ask him to join along just so he can make sure you are not flirting with other guys.
    Hope this helped xxx
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    well...that is controlling :/ you shouldn't let your boyfriend dictate to you what you can and cannot do! If you want to go out clubbing then go, he is not in charge of you
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    Let's face it some girls get loose after some juice
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    But you should tell him to stop being so controlling, If my gf told me I couldn't go clubbing I'd laugh in her face.
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    As long as you were dancing to his tune, and not going to clubs he was OK. Now you are older and hopefully more mature, you want to do the things you want to do and he doesn't like it. You are now seeing a different side of him because he feels insecure, he is putting those feelings on to you. I would go out clubbing - he doesn't own you, you are not joined at the hip - that's not what a loving relationship is about. Tread carefully.
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    If you eventually get married will he stop you from going to places then? He needs to understand that he does not own you and you are you own person. If he said to you that he wasnt fond of you going and said why, then fair enough. It just isn't fair of your boyfriend to dictate your life
    Talk about it calmly and express your opinions and be honest
    Hope I offered some help
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    I don't know. I can see where the people above are coming from, but as I personally don't like clubbing I wouldn't mind it so much.

    I think the most important thing here is, is this the only thing your bf is controlling/insecure about? If it is, then I guess no one is perfect and if you like him in every other way, I guess you will need to sacrifice clubbing for him. However, If it isn't, and he is micromanaging your life, then yeah break up with him
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    He's right, going clubbing while in a relationship is cheating.
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    It depends on why you are going clubbing. A good 80% go clubbing to pull and to get very drunk as well. Ask him to go with you, have a secret word so if you both find it uncomfortable you can say the word and leave. His obviously got an issue with clubbing, or the type of people that hang out there.

    For me clubbing is a bit like a cattle market, with everyone dressed the same, talking the same, getting very drunk and maybe a bit dancing. Not for me at all, but I wouldn't stop my partner go.
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    Clubbing isn't the only way to have fun.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi,

    I have been with mg partner for 5 years now , we got together when we was 15, and FROM the beginning he has said he is against going out to clubs. When i was younger i agreed and said i would never go, looking back I was young/nieve. I didn't think it would be a big deal... surely a relationship is more important than going out to a club? But now im 20, all my friends are going out to clubs and my boyfriend has said he will break up with me/serious concequences if i went. And to top it off if I got touched up in a club he said it would be my fault for putting myself in that environment and he wouldn't be able to deal with it. Im constantly finding myself making excuses as to why i cant go out, and even if my boyfriend did say i could go out, i would be scared ??? What if i got touched up?? Now i am happy with him and i dont think going to a club is worth sacrificingmy relationship but i jusy dont understand? All my friends have bfs and they can go??? Is this wrong???? What should i do??? I want to go out and have fun but i love mt boyfriend to pieces 😔 my bf always holds it against me that i have said before i wouldnt go and that he has always been this way nothing will change.
    How about going clubbing together? This way you'll both see that it's not that bad. Also, if he's 'not letting you' go out and there could be 'serious consequences' should you not comply, that sounds a bit toxic. Very controlling.

    Perhaps explain to him that all your friends - with boyfriends - all go out and have a good time.

    The fact that he's 'holding something against (you)' doesn't sound so good, either. Try being more assertive and telling it like it is - you want to go out, you want to meet your friends, and you want to have a good time, He can come if he wants.

    No one person should be 'in power' in a relationship - it should very much be an affair of equals.

    You got this.
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    To be frank, your boyfriend's being dumb

    (Original post by Popsiclez)
    Clubbing isn't the only way to have fun.
    That's hardly the point
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    (Original post by Retired_Messiah)
    To be frank, your boyfriend's being dumb



    That's hardly the point
    I'm saying they should compromise and meet each other halfway by finding something else they both find fun. Thats what you do in relationships at times like these,you compromise or break up. Thats how it works.
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    (Original post by Popsiclez)
    I'm saying they should compromise and meet each other halfway by finding something else they both find fun. Thats what you do in relationships at times like these,you compromise or break up. Thats how it works.
    Ignoring any argument about him really overstepping his bounds that I could make, the thing here is not going clubbing isn't purely not being allowed to do something fun. You go out when your friends are going out, so the ban here is preventing OP from going to a social event with their friends. Finding something else entertaining to do yourself doesn't provide an equivalent experience, seeing as the friends are still gonna go on the sesh
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    Let him break up with you. Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone so controlling? You're 20, plenty more fish in the sea.
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    Club at home
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi,

    I have been with mg partner for 5 years now , we got together when we was 15, and FROM the beginning he has said he is against going out to clubs. When i was younger i agreed and said i would never go, looking back I was young/nieve. I didn't think it would be a big deal... surely a relationship is more important than going out to a club? But now im 20, all my friends are going out to clubs and my boyfriend has said he will break up with me/serious concequences if i went. And to top it off if I got touched up in a club he said it would be my fault for putting myself in that environment and he wouldn't be able to deal with it. Im constantly finding myself making excuses as to why i cant go out, and even if my boyfriend did say i could go out, i would be scared ??? What if i got touched up?? Now i am happy with him and i dont think going to a club is worth sacrificingmy relationship but i jusy dont understand? All my friends have bfs and they can go??? Is this wrong???? What should i do??? I want to go out and have fun but i love mt boyfriend to pieces 😔 my bf always holds it against me that i have said before i wouldnt go and that he has always been this way nothing will change.
    Hi,

    This is really bad that your boyfriend is like that. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly a year and he has no problems with me going out what so ever. I don't have any problems with him going out either. Just because your boyfriend doesn't agree with going out, he shouldn't put that on you. You are two different people and even if you did say you wouldn't go out all those yeas ago, he can't hold you to that. You got together when you were 15 and now you are 20, I am also 20 too. During this time you are going to grow as a person and he needs to be aware of this. Even if you do get touched up, I'm sure you will be loyal enough to tell them to go away. It sounds like he is really insecure and has some trust issues. Your boyfriend shouldn't even be thinking about men touching you up because you would obviously say no anyway if you are in love with your boyfriend.

    Sophia
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    idgi why's everyone saying he's dumb she dated him knowing he wasn't ok with it, that's his preference just like she has her own, I would never date anyone who didn't want me going out but she decided to LOL it was her own decision n if she wants to go out clubbing she needs to break up with him
 
 
 
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