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i'm so bad at socialising, help pls lol Watch

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    hi all,
    just a little background story, i used to hang out a lot with friends outside of school back in secondary school and had no problems making friends, when sixth form started my friends stopped inviting me out, i'm not sure why but after that i stopped going out to things like parties. I was hoping things would change once i moved out for uni but most of the friends i made i don't speak to anymore and were not party people. So I never went out much during first year, i feel like i've forgotten how to socialise and make friends, sorry that might sound really weird? idk. But I'm trying to make more of an efffort to go out and make friends, so i've decided to go to a social one of the societies i joined is having, it's at a restaurant but i'm not even sure how to approach them when i turn up at the restaurant, my housemates are also throwing a house party this week which i'm going to, i'm feeling anxious about that too and i dunno how to approach people and become friends with them, if anyone can offer any advice on what to do in these situations that would be great thanks
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    make a joke to start off the convo
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    I could have almost sworn that half of what you wrote I would have written in a post myself. We are both in a very similar situation.
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    (Original post by Zeeyo)
    make a joke to start off the convo
    i'm not funny
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    I'm in the same boat bro,
    what if you arrive super early so that people approach you and start the convo
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    Hi person.. you might thing it's hard to make friends but darling it's not. Here is some help
    When you attend the restaurant social gathering. Greet people and ask they names more like ask interesting things. After that ask if you could have like them on a social media to stay in touch
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    (Original post by Zeeyo)
    I'm in the same boat bro,
    what if you arrive super early so that people approach you and start the convo
    that is the single most pathetic thing I've heard today
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    I don't know much about technique however I could provide you with a helpful change of mindset to tackle your anxiety...and also before you actually read the statement...keep in mind it's not meant to be offensive, read on to understand:

    "No one cares about you as much as you do"

    What I mean by that is with regards to your anxieties. I'd assume that they are mainly stuff like worst case scenarios where you consider the possibility of others ending up being weirded out by you and giving you odd looks, which typically (in my case prior) leads to you worrying about it too much, thinking about what you could've done better to not come off as odd. It may have been a hiccup, a mispronounciation or you may have fallen over which is a big screw up.

    That's where the main point comes into play. Whilst you might be putting excessive thought into the ways in which you messed up a social interaction...do you think anyone else is? I doubt anyone else would be putting as much focus on any of your mess ups. No one sits there pondering about it, thinking about all the places where you went wrong and making negative judgements and even if there is a person like that, I doubt you should feel embarassed by them...as they're quite weird themselves.

    Now knowing that, it seems unecessary to fear such social blunders (depending on severity mind you) so there's no reason to be anxious about talking to others if you're scared of embarrasing yourself (which I assumed...sorry if I'm wrong).

    I'LL REITERATE THAT THE QUOTE IS NOT MEANT TO BE OFFENSIVE...I GET NOTHING FROM INSULTING STRANGERS ON THE INTERNET APART FROM GUILT SO I WOULDN'T BOTHER.
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    Say Hello, They will have to reply to that. Then ask their names, they will ask for yours. Ask what their studying and how it's going on and BOOM you're off
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    (Original post by Dragon5555)
    I could have almost sworn that half of what you wrote I would have written in a post myself. We are both in a very similar situation.
    hmm sucks right
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    (Original post by Zeeyo)
    I'm in the same boat bro,
    what if you arrive super early so that people approach you and start the convo
    doesn't sound like a bad idea, i'll try that thanks
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    (Original post by Sharon_rutendo)
    Hi person.. you might thing it's hard to make friends but darling it's not. Here is some help
    When you attend the restaurant social gathering. Greet people and ask they names more like ask interesting things. After that ask if you could have like them on a social media to stay in touch
    Isn't it weird to ask if i've only just met them? also i'm really awkward when i greet people, how should i say hi?
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    (Original post by catacat)
    that is the single most pathetic thing I've heard today
    tf why
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    (Original post by DosanjhDudes11)
    I don't know much about technique however I could provide you with a helpful change of mindset to tackle your anxiety...and also before you actually read the statement...keep in mind it's not meant to be offensive, read on to understand:

    "No one cares about you as much as you do"

    What I mean by that is with regards to your anxieties. I'd assume that they are mainly stuff like worst case scenarios where you consider the possibility of others ending up being weirded out by you and giving you odd looks, which typically (in my case prior) leads to you worrying about it too much, thinking about what you could've done better to not come off as odd. It may have been a hiccup, a mispronounciation or you may have fallen over which is a big screw up.

    That's where the main point comes into play. Whilst you might be putting excessive thought into the ways in which you messed up a social interaction...do you think anyone else is? I doubt anyone else would be putting as much focus on any of your mess ups. No one sits there pondering about it, thinking about all the places where you went wrong and making negative judgements and even if there is a person like that, I doubt you should feel embarassed by them...as they're quite weird themselves.

    Now knowing that, it seems unecessary to fear such social blunders (depending on severity mind you) so there's no reason to be anxious about talking to others if you're scared of embarrasing yourself (which I assumed...sorry if I'm wrong).

    I'LL REITERATE THAT THE QUOTE IS NOT MEANT TO BE OFFENSIVE...I GET NOTHING FROM INSULTING STRANGERS ON THE INTERNET APART FROM GUILT SO I WOULDN'T BOTHER.
    don't worry i didn't find it insulting, i understand what you mean. I'll try not to overthink things when i'm trying to talk to them, thanks
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    Lmfao so am I, idk but it just takes time.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i'm not funny
    Hi not funny, I’m Kevin. You struggling to make some friends? Well, you’ve come to the right place. You see, we’re all on TSR because we all struggle to socialise irl, which is why we resort to sitting behind a screen and talking to people online. It’s a lot easier than actually having to physically socialise, right?
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    (Original post by Kevin Hodge)
    Hi not funny, I’m Kevin. You struggling to make some friends? Well, you’ve come to the right place. You see, we’re all on TSR because we all struggle to socialise irl, which is why we resort to sitting behind a screen and talking to people online. It’s a lot easier than actually having to physically socialise, right?
    go away lol
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Isn't it weird to ask if i've only just met them? also i'm really awkward when i greet people, how should i say hi?
    ITs not weird trust me... some point in life you gonna have to say hi to people from work. If you turn up find someone and say hi (your name) and say you're new to this
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    (Original post by Sharon_rutendo)
    ITs not weird trust me... some point in life you gonna have to say hi to people from work. If you turn up find someone and say hi (your name) and say you're new to this
    hmm ok i'll try that, thank you
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