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Made An Absolute Mess of My Life-What Do I Do? Watch

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    Okay so maybe I've exaggerated this problem in my mind but desperately need some advice on what to do regarding career paths...I have made an an absolute mess and currently at a crossroads deciding what path to take.

    I have done very well academically throughout school and university (got 4 A*s at A Level, first class degree in biomedical sciences from a top uni). For years and years, since I was about 11 I think, I thought I wanted to be a doctor and I told my parents this for years. They were very happy and have invested so much time and money into my education which I do appreciate. Looking back on this, I think this drive to become a doctor arose because my brother (9 years older) was a medical student...he's pretty much a genius, top of his year at med school, now a registrar and lecturer to medical students. I really wanted to be like him.

    After A Levels, I decided to take a gap year (for reasons I won't go into). About two months submitting the application I realised I wasn't suited for medicine...I suffer from bad anxiety and stress being the main reason and I've had to be put on medication to control it. Most of my friends have told me they don't think i'm suited to it, but everyone in my family including my parents, siblings, and staff at uni think I would make a great doctor, but I know deep down I would be rubbish. Anyway, I tried to tell my mum and dad this and they went ballistic, so I stuck with the application. I realised the only way I was getting out of this was by deliberately f***king up the interviews I had, which succeeded, I got four rejections and ended up going to biomed.

    Three years down the line...in second year, I did an internship in tax at one of the Big Four which I absolutely hated. I then started to wonder if medicine maybe was the path I wanted to do. if I'm being honest, the dream job would to be in academia whilst seeing some patients on the side. I just want a job that's well paid and vaguely interesting. My parents and siblings encouraged me to try for medicine again, and I started to believe them that it was the right path. I have submitted an application again, but all the insecurities recently have come to haunt me...i still believe I don't think I'll make a good doctor. Alongside all of this, I applied for jobs in management consulting. I have recently received an offer from another Big Four firm to become a management consulting analyst...and part of me really wants to accept the job, but I don't know if it will be any better than tax. I also know if I take this job, my parents will cut off all my funding and will get so mad. They were really mad when I told them I wanted to try out finance in my second year of uni...they told me I would hate it, which tbf they were completely right. I don't want to have a bad relationship with my family and siblings and want them to be happy with what I do, but at the same time I want to be happy with the choices I make.

    I'm sorry for the long post but I honestly don't really know what to do. Do I maybe give medicine a shot? Any advice would be much appreciated.
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    Honestly, if after everything you have again come back to thinking Medicine is for you, then I really think you should try it You aren't going to be thrown in the deep end with patients and huge responsibilities straight away, you will also be able to build up your confidence slowly while studying. You seem to want to be a doctor, I think that you should give it a shot, what’s the worst that can happen 😊 Try not to let your parents views affect your own, do what you want. But if you are not satisfied with your current career and you don’t really want to carry it on, then I say go for Medicine and try something new 😊
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    Take a leap of faith. There are many jobs you could get into respectably the health service. Personally I dont like medicine but I prefer the science of prevention of having to take the medicine in the first place so maybe look into a career there. As of the anxiety I'd see a psychiatrist or read some books, even if you ain't in a bad spot it can help to improve your life. Or if you a girl dw that s*** cute. Follow your passions and if it don't feel right don't take the step.
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    You could try management consulting for a year, alongside applying for medicine. Then if you like it, don't go back to university. But if you do like it, reject any offers you have for medicine and stick with consulting.
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    • Thread Starter
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    Thank you everyone who responded. I know there are people far worse off than me with worse problems and i am grateful to my family for all the support. But this s*** is getting to me because I feel like there's no turning back once i commit to med, if i drop out, that's it, I don't get a second chance. I can't work out though if I'm doing this because either my parents want me to or is because i want it...and recently i've being doing a lot of drink and drugs because it's stressing me out. I don't mean to sound like a whiny ***** but I don't know really what to do.
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    Get an appointment with a careers professional at the university where you completed your first degree. They should still be able to see you , some universities offer careers support for life. Make sure you book a 'guidance' appointment- not simply an information or advice appointment. the purpose of the guidance interview is to help you through the decision making process and enable you to gain some clarity around your current thinking and what else you might need to make the decision. The careers person won't tell you what to do - but will help you to identify the barriers to your decision making and some approaches to address them
    • #2
    #2

    Hi there, Firstly, you haven't made a mess of your life; it just feels that way because of the indecision and the anxiety.

    Having also dealt with anxiety, I know how it feels- horrible. It reduces your confidence drastically and brings up all the 'what ifs'. You're incredibly smart. Please take what I say here with a pinch of salt, because I don't know what you're thinking or what you really want to do. I'm not sure how much work, or how much you have to think when studying medicine.

    Personally, I wouldn't be very good at it because I think too much. However, from what you've written, I'm not sure if you truly want to study medicine. Maybe it's not providing enough enjoyment for you? So much so that you seemed to want to take any opportunity that comes about, like the job offer. Having said that, you have submitted applications twice for it so you probably were committed to it, at least for some time.

    If I were to ask you one question, it would be 'why do you think you'll be a bad doctor?'. Because I don't think its due to your intelligence. What is actually putting you off? Anxiety is a natural part of life (which I'm sure you already know)- sometimes fighting it or dismissing it is not the best way to manage it. My best advice would be to talk- because talking helps a lot. And I know you don't want to disappoint your family, but you should make a decision mostly on your wellbeing and happiness. If your anxiety is coming back, don't fight it, but think why. Is it because you're overthinking the ifs and buts and whys, or is it that you know you won't be happy doing medicine.

    Try talking to your older brother, who has done medicine, and ask him how stressful the course is. Or often a teacher you are close to will also help, even if you've left school, I'm sure one who doesn't teach you sciences will reduce your anxieties. I say a teacher that doesn't teach you science, as these teachers are likely to want you to do medicine as it may be a part of their background.

    All times of indecision will pass, just look back and see how far you've come. And I'm sure you'll make the best decision, because whatever decisions you've made so far have not messed up your life. You've got this
 
 
 
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