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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    So, I've always had a fear of anything inserting into me, whether that be a tampon, my finger, anything.

    But I'm now in a relationship of 5 months and sex is on the table. We've tried three times so far and I've obviously been nervous both times. Every time it felt like a wall was being broken inside of me, like a tearing pain (almost like I'd imagine breaking the hymen would feel like but then it's happened ever time?) He's also said it's quite a struggle to get it in so I don't know if this is normal but he said it's like a push.

    So far it's only gone about half way in and I can't bear the pain like I've basically screamed in pain each time and asked him to stop.

    It's not that I don't want it, I do, but I get scared and it almost feels like my vagina closes up on me just before we go to do it.

    Please help, any advice would be so useful because right now I feel so alone.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Numb :/
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    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Getting the feeling I'm not gonna get any responses here.
    • #2
    #2

    See a doctor, maybe?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    See a doctor, maybe?
    I'm so scared to go and see the doctor, I already need to know for another reason as well so like I don't know if I can talk about both in 1 appointment. Honestly I question why life is so stressful
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    Relax- when you're worried you tense up and that makes it harder/ more painful
    "Warm up"- your body will be more ready for it
    Start small- get used to smaller things like a finger
    Use lube- friction doesn't help
    Check you're otherwise well- things like thrush can cause painful sex. You should be able to recognise anything like that by irritation, smell or discharge.
    Consider seeing a doctor or visiting a sexual health clinic for more advice. I know it's a bit awkward, but it could be a huge game changer for you so it's worth it.

    Btw, it can take a fair while to get responses in the health sections cos people don't visit here quite as much or don't feel like they would be able to help. Don't worry about going a few hours with no response- it's normal.
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    I had the exact same problem. It was solved when we did a lot of foreplay. It still hurts but you will be more relaxed.
    • #1
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    #1

    (Original post by Kindred)
    Relax- when you're worried you tense up and that makes it harder/ more painful
    "Warm up"- your body will be more ready for it
    Start small- get used to smaller things like a finger
    Use lube- friction doesn't help
    Check you're otherwise well- things like thrush can cause painful sex. You should be able to recognise anything like that by irritation, smell or discharge.
    Consider seeing a doctor or visiting a sexual health clinic for more advice. I know it's a bit awkward, but it could be a huge game changer for you so it's worth it.

    Btw, it can take a fair while to get responses in the health sections cos people don't visit here quite as much or don't feel like they would be able to help. Don't worry about going a few hours with no response- it's normal.
    Thank you very much this is awfully useful! I’ve definitely debated trying to ease myself into it I’m just reluctant to cut my finger nails that took me ages to grow (first world problems I know.)

    I’m also highly considering a trip to my GP or sexual health clinic (haven’t picked yet) and I also need to go on the pill too so that’s another thing I must sort.

    Honestly thanks again.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So, I've always had a fear of anything inserting into me, whether that be a tampon, my finger, anything.

    But I'm now in a relationship of 5 months and sex is on the table. We've tried three times so far and I've obviously been nervous both times. Every time it felt like a wall was being broken inside of me, like a tearing pain (almost like I'd imagine breaking the hymen would feel like but then it's happened ever time?) He's also said it's quite a struggle to get it in so I don't know if this is normal but he said it's like a push.

    So far it's only gone about half way in and I can't bear the pain like I've basically screamed in pain each time and asked him to stop.

    It's not that I don't want it, I do, but I get scared and it almost feels like my vagina closes up on me just before we go to do it.

    Please help, any advice would be so useful because right now I feel so alone.
    So the nervousness definitely doesn't help as even if you try not to, you will be tensing up and clenching up which both, makes it more painful for you and more difficult for him.

    My main advice is, take your time. Even just take an evening to yourself, play around, see if you can make yourself relax enough to enjoy having your fingers inside. Don't go straight for it but go at your own pace. Then when you're with the guy, have him play with you beforehand too before you're totally comfortable with him to take it further
    • #3
    #3

    I am not a doctor however look up ‘vaginismus’. Hope that helps. X
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    Did you lose your virginity to him and only had sex 3 times so far?
 
 
 
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