She's literally running away from me and tonight for the first time ever I masturbated to her Instagram pictures. Someone said it would make me think she isn't as special as I thought she was, but I'm scared that I just made things worse for myself... At first it was hard to get turned on by her as it felt wrong but I managed to do it. Sorry if this breaks violations, I honestly have no idea if it does or not. I just desperately need help.