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    #1

    Eh, I don't really know what to do right now.

    I've been struggling with my mental health again for a while. Over the last year, it seemed to be getting better, considering a year ago I was being sectioned, self harming every day, in and out of hospital, etc.

    Like I said, since the beginning of the year, it seemed to be getting a little better. Not as many panic attacks, my BPD seemed to have settled a bit, I started to feel... happy.

    But over the last couple of months, I've become a complete wreck. I'm not sleeping, I can't sleep for the life of me. I'm f***ed because I haven't been able to pay my TV license fine and they've sent me a letter saying they're putting out a warrant for my arrest. I told them that I can't pay this fine until I get my maintenance through. I'm in a s***ton of other debt too, which I don't know how to even start tackling.

    I've felt incredibly lonely, even when I travel to see my friends out of town, I can't get that awful feeling out of me. I'm also still struggling with the **** that I've been through in the past, I won't go into too much detail of that but the basics are being forced to go through with an abortion, being abused, etc.

    To top it all off, I just found out that my cat died. He was my world and I loved him to absolute pieces. I'm heartbroken.

    I just don't know if I have the strength to carry on. I look at myself and think, what's the point? I feel like a failure. I don't know. I probably sound like I'm whining but I feel like I'm hitting the point I used to be at. And I don't know if I can cope being like that again.
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    Have you been to see your GP or local mental health team?

    You're going through a lot and these people can help you and direct you in the right direction of resources/people who can help you with your various problems.

    Don't suffer alone.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Eh, I don't really know what to do right now.

    I've been struggling with my mental health again for a while. Over the last year, it seemed to be getting better, considering a year ago I was being sectioned, self harming every day, in and out of hospital, etc.

    Like I said, since the beginning of the year, it seemed to be getting a little better. Not as many panic attacks, my BPD seemed to have settled a bit, I started to feel... happy.

    But over the last couple of months, I've become a complete wreck. I'm not sleeping, I can't sleep for the life of me. I'm f***ed because I haven't been able to pay my TV license fine and they've sent me a letter saying they're putting out a warrant for my arrest. I told them that I can't pay this fine until I get my maintenance through. I'm in a s***ton of other debt too, which I don't know how to even start tackling.

    I've felt incredibly lonely, even when I travel to see my friends out of town, I can't get that awful feeling out of me. I'm also still struggling with the **** that I've been through in the past, I won't go into too much detail of that but the basics are being forced to go through with an abortion, being abused, etc.

    To top it all off, I just found out that my cat died. He was my world and I loved him to absolute pieces. I'm heartbroken.

    I just don't know if I have the strength to carry on. I look at myself and think, what's the point? I feel like a failure. I don't know. I probably sound like I'm whining but I feel like I'm hitting the point I used to be at. And I don't know if I can cope being like that again.
    First of all, don't beat yourself up over struggling - you've had a tough time, and life can be really a tough, a real struggle, at times. Respect that. Validate that fact. Accept that. You've acknowledged your own struggle and you've started to look for help, even by just posting on here. That's a huge step. You're self aware. Many people live in denial.

    You know you've been down a bad route about a year ago, and sure that was hard (been through similar) but you know what, you managed to get things flowing in a more positive direction. That took a lot, and you should be proud of that. It's okay to have blips, it's okay for things to not be okay sometimes. The main priority now is how do you keep things overall flowing in a more positive direction, rather than going back down that difficult path where you're out of control, and to me, the fact you're saying that you don't want to get back to a point where you're out of control, shows that willpower. And the willpower means you CAN DO IT.

    First of all, think about how you can tackle the financial problems. Is there ANYONE at all you can go to for support? Family? If that's a stupid question, have you considered seeing the citizen's advice bureau about what your options are right now regarding the debt and the fine. They can help you break down the problem. You're not necessarily going to be sent to jail. You need to really find out what your options are. Can you work at all at the moment?

    Second of all, if you do struggle, are you seeing someone about that? A therapist or mental health care professional? Are you medicated for your illness at the moment? Are you being monitored? As someone with a mh condition i know how badly we need that support, especially when things get tougher.

    Third of all, I'm sorry to hear about your cat, and I totally get what you mean about the loneliness thing. Are there any friends, even old acquaintances who live close by to you, not out of town? Or if that's not option, going to meet ups where you can engage with some other people. Look into local group therapy and group support classes. You're not the only one to struggle, trust me, and we all need that support network at times like this.

    Lastly, I think you should know that there definitely is a point to you. You are a human being, and you have integrity, and that integrity needs to be respected. You wouldn't put anyone else down like you are putting yourself down, so don't do it to yourself! You bloody well matter. Keep posting here so we know a bit more about how the situation is going, as there's people on here, me included, who can empathise with what you're going through and really want to be here to support both you and each other through these situations. Don't give up. X O X
 
 
 
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