Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

He keeps pursuing me for sex.. Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I met this guy a little over a year ago.. he is 28 and i am 21. he is very sexually experienced and I'm a virgin. I found myself very attracted to him, and did 'bits' with him sooner that I thought I would. I sort of regretted it because I felt very naive doing things so soon. I'm pretty shy and doing anything sexual is a big deal to me.

    The thing is within a couple of months of meeting him and after doing bits with him.. I told him I wanted to have sex, but then realised that I wasn't ready yet.. after that, he has been pursuing me for sex where I still am very indecisive about what I want.. i have developed feelings for him. I do get attached thats why I haven't been able to end things with him as he is the only guy I've done intimate things with. I have told him in the past i'm not into casual sex and that i want to wait for the right person, but he seems to ignore this and keep pursuing me... part of me wants him in my life, because i want him to change but he seems like he doesn't care nor respect me.

    But if i do have sex with him? will it lead to something more? i'm pretty inexperienced about relationships/sex so would welcome for some advice thanks!
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    "waiting for people to change" doesn't work bbygrl, if something or someone is pressuring to something very big and personal to/with you that you have doubts about you shouldn't go through with it, step back and view your relationship, is it a healthy relationship? do both of you feel the need to have sex to have love? sometimes you have to be strong/brave and say its not worth it. This is only to advise, at the end of the day it's your choice. So do what YOU think is right.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    Don't give in. He's gonna have sex with you and move on. Guys will say whatever they have to, to get in your pants, trust me. If you give in, he won't stick around. Main indication being the fact that he's so pushy and doesn't take your 'no' or 'i'm not ready yet' as an answer.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    He sounds like he just wants to get you into bed and then leave you there. If he truly appreciated you and the emotional connection you seem to have, he will respect your views and not pressure you.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    Get out now before he hurts you. Sounds like all he wants is to get you in bed then leave.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    Don't give in. It's VERY VERY unlikely that having sex with him will lead into anything significant. He'll likely stop contacting you once you have sex, or only contact you when he wants sex.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    If your virginity means so much to you then you shouldn't lose it because you feel you had to. I recommend not getting further into a relationship with someone who doesn't respect you sexually or otherwise. It doesn't matter if you have feelings for this person, this is not how healthy relationships start.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by 7SVN)
    "waiting for people to change" doesn't work bbygrl, if something or someone is pressuring to something very big and personal to/with you that you have doubts about you shouldn't go through with it, step back and view your relationship, is it a healthy relationship? do both of you feel the need to have sex to have love? sometimes you have to be strong/brave and say its not worth it. This is only to advise, at the end of the day it's your choice. So do what YOU think is right.
    I feel like he always has the right things to say whenever I say no.. for e.g .how amazing it'll feel, and how the connection will strengthen. He's been my first for many things, and how it feels right to have it with him first. but i know if i have sex with him it'll be much harder to leave. i know deep down he isn't right for me, but its hard to let go.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Thanks for all your responses. My gut feeling is to not to anything with him. But he is so good with words, and makes you feel so good.. I get happy when i see his messages but at the same time he seems quite toxic. Whenever I've done sexual things it feels great in the moment, he messages me saying he enjoyed it and then i text him back and he ignores me and replies like a week or 2 weeks later. i feel like such an idiot although its so clear. but when you like someone and they've been the first person you've done intimate things with its difficult to let go :/
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    I wish someone would sexually pursue me for once in my life...
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by awkwardshortguy)
    I wish someone would sexually pursue me for once in my life...
    lol made me laugh you'll find someone tho
    • TSR Support Team
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I met this guy a little over a year ago.. he is 28 and i am 21. he is very sexually experienced and I'm a virgin. I found myself very attracted to him, and did 'bits' with him sooner that I thought I would. I sort of regretted it because I felt very naive doing things so soon. I'm pretty shy and doing anything sexual is a big deal to me.

    The thing is within a couple of months of meeting him and after doing bits with him.. I told him I wanted to have sex, but then realised that I wasn't ready yet.. after that, he has been pursuing me for sex where I still am very indecisive about what I want.. i have developed feelings for him. I do get attached thats why I haven't been able to end things with him as he is the only guy I've done intimate things with. I have told him in the past i'm not into casual sex and that i want to wait for the right person, but he seems to ignore this and keep pursuing me... part of me wants him in my life, because i want him to change but he seems like he doesn't care nor respect me.

    But if i do have sex with him? will it lead to something more? i'm pretty inexperienced about relationships/sex so would welcome for some advice thanks!
    Be honest and open with him so there's no chance he's getting the wrong idea. If that doesn't work and he keeps pressing you to do things you're uncomfortable with then he's not somebody you want to be going the distance with.
    If his is pressuring you to have sex, despite knowing you are not comfortable with it, he's interested in your body not you and he's not worth having a relationship with.

    You are your best early warning system. If you're uncomfortable with a situation or a person it's a pretty decent indicator that it's not something you should be continuing with. Even if it were that he's a good guy who's just more interested in sex than you you're still probably not going to be compatible in the long run.

    If he's clearly interested in it, but he respects you and backs off then it's fine to see how things go, but if he's pushing you he's just a D bag and not worth your time or thought.

    Hope that helps.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: October 23, 2017
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    What newspaper do you read/prefer?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.