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My boyfriend sponges off me 24/7 and I don't know what to do. Watch

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    The fact that he hasn't offered to pay anything indicates little to no respect for you. He thinks he can be 15 forever, but his behaviour won't be "cute" when he's 25 or 30. You are enabling his behaviour and the resentment will build up until you explode - he's using you and you're letting him. I would make him move back in with his family or give him a time frame in which to move out. You have to do something drastic now or this will become harder and harder.

    I've seen people drift along and scrounge like that; he will be totally dependent on you if you let this continue and his self-esteem will plummet. I have a feeling you don't really want to do anything because the situation suits you in ways, but think of his future if nothing else.
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    Tbh OP, how have you let this get so far? He quit a job because he 'didn't like it' and you let him move in with you and started paying all his living expenses while he does nothing? And you're doing this on an £8 an hour job? And he's happy to let you do this? He doesn't feel any guilt about it?

    Personally I don't think I'd want anything to do with someone like that but, if you really don't want to get rid, obviously you need to make clear that he needs to sort himself out and make a contribution.
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    Tell him: boy, bye.
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    (Original post by Bloomdoom)
    I'm 23 and he's 20 (both guys) we've been together for 2 years. I have a really boring 8:30 to 16:30 job Monday to Friday at £8 an hour as I massively screwed up my education. My boyfriend doesn't work or do anything at all, he can't claim benefits as he has no reason he can't work or look for a job (you have to prove you're looking for work for 35 hours a week to claim benefits), he just can't be bothered to do anything.

    We live together in a small studio flat. I pay for everything for both of us, the rent (all bills are included), food, our phones, TV licence, drinks when we go out, anything we do together when we're not at home and games he wants. We've lived together for 18 months, he had just started a job when we met but he resigned after 6 months as he didn't like it and moved in with me. He has financially contributed literally nothing since we've been living together. He gets up whenever he wants and watches TV and plays games all day.

    He does clean the flat (though it's very small so it's not much) and he does the laundry but that's it, I do all of the cooking as well. I do love him, he's funny, hot and the sex is really good. We have a lot of similar interests and we have a good time together, I just wish he was brining some money in. I can afford to keep doing this and I don't have any financial troubles. How should I approach this with him and what can I do?
    Two stage plan.

    Talk to him, say how you feel and listen to what he thinks of the situation.
    Tell him you are uncomfy it should go on like this and he needs to start sorting himself out and you will support him.

    If he refused or wont make an effort to improve and thus improve the relationship then dump him and find someone else. Your alternative is to let him carry on sponging, but that will drag you down.

    Treat yourself better and aspire for more.
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    (Original post by Bloomdoom)
    I'm 23 and he's 20 (both guys) we've been together for 2 years. I have a really boring 8:30 to 16:30 job Monday to Friday at £8 an hour as I massively screwed up my education. My boyfriend doesn't work or do anything at all, he can't claim benefits as he has no reason he can't work or look for a job (you have to prove you're looking for work for 35 hours a week to claim benefits), he just can't be bothered to do anything.

    We live together in a small studio flat. I pay for everything for both of us, the rent (all bills are included), food, our phones, TV licence, drinks when we go out, anything we do together when we're not at home and games he wants. We've lived together for 18 months, he had just started a job when we met but he resigned after 6 months as he didn't like it and moved in with me. He has financially contributed literally nothing since we've been living together. He gets up whenever he wants and watches TV and plays games all day.

    He does clean the flat (though it's very small so it's not much) and he does the laundry but that's it, I do all of the cooking as well. I do love him, he's funny, hot and the sex is really good. We have a lot of similar interests and we have a good time together, I just wish he was brining some money in. I can afford to keep doing this and I don't have any financial troubles. How should I approach this with him and what can I do?
    if he sponges off you he might be spongebob. cause for concern.
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    just sit him down and tell him its unfair on you, look, im sure he will understnd ask him how he would feel the other way round? tell him you do love him and dont want to lose it but it is becoming a bit of an issue in the relationship, good luck x
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    I think like many others have said above - I'm very surprised you let him give up his job and happily paid for everything without encouraging him to look for a new job. Or encouraged him to go back into education at the very least. Most colleges are happy to let people onto low level courses - and after completing level 2 courses they are allowed to higher level courses. It may take longer to get where they want but at least its a start.
    You really need to give him an ultimatum I'm afraid. Is he truly happy to sponge of you without the smallest bit of guilt, or the slightest hint that he wants to better himself? If not for himself, for you?

    Do you really want to be with someone who will essentially bring you down and hold you back in life.
    I would only ever want to be with someone who is as ambitious as me and pushes me to do better and challenges me.
    You sound like you're head over heels for this guy which is fair enough but I think its tough love time.
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    I think it's great that you make enough money to live comfortably and pay both of your expenses, and I'm sure it's all happy days for your boyfriend. However, like so many people have said before me your boyfriend needs motivation and he needs to grow up and understand that he has to make a living for himself. If you both contributed to rent and other expenses, I'm sure it would be a huge relief for you but you should also consider all the things you could do with that extra money you would save, such as holidays, experiences, etc. It is a difficult situation and I don't think breaking up with him should be necessary at all, but I think you will have to give him an ultimatum and say that he can't keep living with you unless he contributes. Hope it all goes well x
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    (Original post by Bloomdoom)
    I'm 23 and he's 20 (both guys) we've been together for 2 years. I have a really boring 8:30 to 16:30 job Monday to Friday at £8 an hour as I massively screwed up my education. My boyfriend doesn't work or do anything at all, he can't claim benefits as he has no reason he can't work or look for a job (you have to prove you're looking for work for 35 hours a week to claim benefits), he just can't be bothered to do anything.

    We live together in a small studio flat. I pay for everything for both of us, the rent (all bills are included), food, our phones, TV licence, drinks when we go out, anything we do together when we're not at home and games he wants. We've lived together for 18 months, he had just started a job when we met but he resigned after 6 months as he didn't like it and moved in with me. He has financially contributed literally nothing since we've been living together. He gets up whenever he wants and watches TV and plays games all day.

    He does clean the flat (though it's very small so it's not much) and he does the laundry but that's it, I do all of the cooking as well. I do love him, he's funny, hot and the sex is really good. We have a lot of similar interests and we have a good time together, I just wish he was brining some money in. I can afford to keep doing this and I don't have any financial troubles. How should I approach this with him and what can I do?
    I lowkey feel like this is a troll thread, made by someone making fun of my old threads? With a few changes to make it less obvious?
    LMAO.
    If not...
    Then I'm kinda in a similar situation. Except that I'm the one who doesn't work in our relationship. BUT I don't work because I can't, and he's pretty wealthy so he doesn't mind.
    Does he even want to work? If so, is he looking for a job?
    If you have enough money, and he does the cleaning and stuff, then why does it bother you?
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    At the moment, as you are both young, your financial situation is ok. However, think about the future - if you get a mortgage, get married or raise a family, will his attitude to work still remain the same? It cannot be expected for you to do everything - he has to put effort into the relationship rather than a case of take and no give. Even an intent to start looking for work is better than just watching TV and playing games all day. If his behaviour continues, you may grow to resent him and this will become the biggest problem in your relationship. I think that this is something that you need to confront him about.
 
 
 
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