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Amicable Break Up with GF of 3 Years due to Bad Sex. Just Bought a Place Together. watch

    • Thread Starter

    I am in an awkward and difficult feeling situation with my girlfriend of 3-years. Since the beginning, we've always had trouble with sex because of our unmatching sex drives. My girlfriend loves me very much, but she has a very low sex drive - she barely wants to have sex once a week and even then she doesn't really seem very enthusiastic about it. Me on the other hand, have been almost hypersexual since 6 years old. I would have sex more than twice a day if I could. Of course I understand that most girls are not able to do this, but I would need good sex at least a few times a week to be happy. A big part of sex for me is seeing my partner enjoy it, which is missing in this relationship. Stupidly I ignored my friends' advice who all told me this problem will never disappear.

    As a result of sexual frustration and feeling of not being wanted, I've built up very bad anxiety and have slowly started feeling worse and worse every month. My girlfriend noticed this since a long time and we finally talked about it. She brought up that if I want we can break up, because she can see I'm not happy. I feel very sad, but I realise there is no other way around this. It feels awkward because she is beautiful and we get on so well otherwise apart of this sex problem.

    Now what makes things worse is that we just bought a condominium and have spent a lot of money and effort to make it perfect. It's on a 100% mortgage in my girlfriends name with me paying rent towards the repayments, with the idea that once paid she will add it in both our names. I would really not want to move out of this place and I'm sure she wouldn't either.

    She is a rational thinker though and simply suggested that she moves out and finds a cheap room to rent instead and I can stay in this condo and pay her rent. So basically she would be my landlord and I'd be her tenant. But I would feel so bad making her leave her own place and especially bringing other girls to her own home. I don't think this would work..

    The other issue is that she is badly in financial trouble; she has the mortgage with too high repayments for her salary, credit card loans to pay as well as for the condo's furniture. I currently pay quite a bit more towards the repayments because I have over 4 x her salary. This is a fair deal because she paid for all the furniture. If I would simply leave and get my own place, she wouldn't be able to pay all her loans back and would get serious trouble with money.

    It's a very awkward situation, because she hasn't done anything wrong to me so I don't want for her to be in trouble after we amicably split up.. I don't personally mind loosing my home (life goes on) but I don't want to make her bankrupt.
    • Community Assistant

    Community Assistant
    I can empathise with you to an extent. I have a fairly low sex drive, whereas my boyfriend is much more sexual than me. So I can see where you're coming from.

    Is there couples therapy you could go to to try and figure out how to have a satisfying sex life for both of you? Or maybe go to your doctor to try and reduce your sex drive, and then she goes to hers to try and increase it? It sounds like neither of you want to break up, but happiness is important. Try other solutions before you definitely call it quits.

    Hyper sexual at 6 years old
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