There's something wrong with me

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#1
(If you can't be bothered to read, I'll put a quick summary at the bottom that'll give you a good idea what the problem is).

Okay, I'm posting this now, because if I don't, I'll just never do it, and I NEED some sort of help; I don't want a miracle, but this "thing" I've got going on has just gotten excessive and I've no idea what to do.

Basically, I'm a pathetic piece of ****; I'm the sort of person you don't want to turn out like, and I beg you all not to do half of the things I've done in my life for the sake of your future. I'll be honest and up front without trying to sound arrogant or anything of the likes.

Right, I have absolutely no regard for anything to do with my own future. I live in the moment to the point where I basically ruin my future just for a few days of enjoyment; I've taken out loans knowing I can't afford to pay them back, but of course that didn't matter to me because that meant I could take a nice holiday somewhere (Have solo travelled a lot).

I've always been like this - If I get a sudden idea that going to the US alone sounds great, I'll happily go and ruin my credit rating just for that trip; now I will state it was an amazing experience and I don't regret it, but it's not changing. Luckily my credit rating has gotten so bad that I can no longer take out loans or get myself in any more financial hell.

Now the financial part isn't good at all, but it doesn't bother me half as much as this next part.

I'm an intelligent person; I don't want to sound arrogant, but it's just kind of how it is; I was hometaught from Year 9 onwards because, for some reason, I just refused to go to school; I had no idea why, and I still have no idea why.

Pretty much spent those years (up until college) sitting on my ass all day doing nothing but playing games. Probably studied twice in the space of those 2 years, yet I went for a college interview with absolutely no grades (hadn't taken exams), and they let me in for some reason or another. Then, I took my GCSEs at college and ended up getting straight As in maths and English (They were the only 2 I could take as they were compulsary).

First year of college, I shot through it; got the highest grades out of the 50 students on my course (IT), then for some reason, when the final year came before Uni, I just gave up. I wasn't struggling with work or assignments, my brain just told me sleep is more important than early mornings and that was that.

Since then, I've come up with all these wonderful ideas and business plans, that I start, and then just get bored and give up after a few days, then go back to being a lazy piece of crap, until the next business idea hits me (Usually after about a month where I realise my life is a state), then repeat.

Here's the interesting part; about 3 weeks ago I got diagnosed with ADHD by a psychiatrist; I was put on Matoride XL and it felt like it was working; I could focus more, I could take care over decisions; but then... for some reason I decided to tell myself it was just placebo from the tablets, and since then I've been back to my old piece of **** self. I still take them as directed, but the tablets do absolutely nothing. I feel literally no different if I take them, or if I don't take them.

Summary:

I am a lazy piece of **** who has no regard for anything that happens in my future, living by a "I'll deal with it when the time comes" philosophy. I'll gladly screw up my life if it means I get a few days enjoyment on or around the present day. I fail at every job I get because I just get bored after 2 months and leave, my money management is awful. I'm absolutely 100% aware of what I am, and what I should do, but I will not do it for some reason.

Basically, I need to sort my life out, pull myself together, take my head out from my own ass, get some help and start fresh. But I will not; this has always been the story of my life, I've always been well aware of what I should do, but I've always done the opposite. I constantly feel like there's something in my head that just won't let me do it.

Maybe it is the ADHD and I need to try different medication, I really don't know
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hug_the_psych
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#2
Report 3 years ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
(If you can't be bothered to read, I'll put a quick summary at the bottom that'll give you a good idea what the problem is).

Okay, I'm posting this now, because if I don't, I'll just never do it, and I NEED some sort of help; I don't want a miracle, but this "thing" I've got going on has just gotten excessive and I've no idea what to do.

Basically, I'm a pathetic piece of ****; I'm the sort of person you don't want to turn out like, and I beg you all not to do half of the things I've done in my life for the sake of your future. I'll be honest and up front without trying to sound arrogant or anything of the likes.

Right, I have absolutely no regard for anything to do with my own future. I live in the moment to the point where I basically ruin my future just for a few days of enjoyment; I've taken out loans knowing I can't afford to pay them back, but of course that didn't matter to me because that meant I could take a nice holiday somewhere (Have solo travelled a lot).

I've always been like this - If I get a sudden idea that going to the US alone sounds great, I'll happily go and ruin my credit rating just for that trip; now I will state it was an amazing experience and I don't regret it, but it's not changing. Luckily my credit rating has gotten so bad that I can no longer take out loans or get myself in any more financial hell.

Now the financial part isn't good at all, but it doesn't bother me half as much as this next part.

I'm an intelligent person; I don't want to sound arrogant, but it's just kind of how it is; I was hometaught from Year 9 onwards because, for some reason, I just refused to go to school; I had no idea why, and I still have no idea why.

Pretty much spent those years (up until college) sitting on my ass all day doing nothing but playing games. Probably studied twice in the space of those 2 years, yet I went for a college interview with absolutely no grades (hadn't taken exams), and they let me in for some reason or another. Then, I took my GCSEs at college and ended up getting straight As in maths and English (They were the only 2 I could take as they were compulsary).

First year of college, I shot through it; got the highest grades out of the 50 students on my course (IT), then for some reason, when the final year came before Uni, I just gave up. I wasn't struggling with work or assignments, my brain just told me sleep is more important than early mornings and that was that.

Since then, I've come up with all these wonderful ideas and business plans, that I start, and then just get bored and give up after a few days, then go back to being a lazy piece of crap, until the next business idea hits me (Usually after about a month where I realise my life is a state), then repeat.

Here's the interesting part; about 3 weeks ago I got diagnosed with ADHD by a psychiatrist; I was put on Matoride XL and it felt like it was working; I could focus more, I could take care over decisions; but then... for some reason I decided to tell myself it was just placebo from the tablets, and since then I've been back to my old piece of **** self. I still take them as directed, but the tablets do absolutely nothing. I feel literally no different if I take them, or if I don't take them.

Summary:

I am a lazy piece of **** who has no regard for anything that happens in my future, living by a "I'll deal with it when the time comes" philosophy. I'll gladly screw up my life if it means I get a few days enjoyment on or around the present day. I fail at every job I get because I just get bored after 2 months and leave, my money management is awful. I'm absolutely 100% aware of what I am, and what I should do, but I will not do it for some reason.

Basically, I need to sort my life out, pull myself together, take my head out from my own ass, get some help and start fresh. But I will not; this has always been the story of my life, I've always been well aware of what I should do, but I've always done the opposite. I constantly feel like there's something in my head that just won't let me do it.

Maybe it is the ADHD and I need to try different medication, I really don't know
Hi,

Reading your post, when you’re saying things such as “I live in the moment to the point where I basically ruin my future just for a few days of enjoyment”, it just sounds like you’re an impulsive person – in other words, there’s nothing “wrong” with you. I know plenty of people who are naturally impulsive. You are right, it could be ADHD which is making your impulsivity worse, in which case it might be worth bringing this up with your doctor to see if there are other medications which may reduce this.
I’m not a doctor, but I’m studying psychology at masters level and when you said “when the final year came before Uni, I just gave up. I wasn't struggling with work or assignments, my brain just told me sleep is more important than early mornings and that was that.”, it sounds like some kind of depression or maybe it’s just a lack of motivation – hard to tell without having a proper conversation with you.

I’ve just read up on the Matoride XL information sheet online, and if you read some of the potential side effects, it’s possible that this might be what you’re experiencing. A couple weeks is usually what it takes for your body to get used to new medicines, but if you already feel as though it’s having no real effect then I’d definitely advise that you go back to the doctors and explain how you’re feeling (maybe even print out this post and take it with you). It is possible that the dosage is not strong enough for you (they usually start on a relatively low dose otherwise it can be risky).

I wish you the best!
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Wired_1800
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#3
Report 3 years ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
(If you can't be bothered to read, I'll put a quick summary at the bottom that'll give you a good idea what the problem is).

Okay, I'm posting this now, because if I don't, I'll just never do it, and I NEED some sort of help; I don't want a miracle, but this "thing" I've got going on has just gotten excessive and I've no idea what to do.

Basically, I'm a pathetic piece of ****; I'm the sort of person you don't want to turn out like, and I beg you all not to do half of the things I've done in my life for the sake of your future. I'll be honest and up front without trying to sound arrogant or anything of the likes.

Right, I have absolutely no regard for anything to do with my own future. I live in the moment to the point where I basically ruin my future just for a few days of enjoyment; I've taken out loans knowing I can't afford to pay them back, but of course that didn't matter to me because that meant I could take a nice holiday somewhere (Have solo travelled a lot).

I've always been like this - If I get a sudden idea that going to the US alone sounds great, I'll happily go and ruin my credit rating just for that trip; now I will state it was an amazing experience and I don't regret it, but it's not changing. Luckily my credit rating has gotten so bad that I can no longer take out loans or get myself in any more financial hell.

Now the financial part isn't good at all, but it doesn't bother me half as much as this next part.

I'm an intelligent person; I don't want to sound arrogant, but it's just kind of how it is; I was hometaught from Year 9 onwards because, for some reason, I just refused to go to school; I had no idea why, and I still have no idea why.

Pretty much spent those years (up until college) sitting on my ass all day doing nothing but playing games. Probably studied twice in the space of those 2 years, yet I went for a college interview with absolutely no grades (hadn't taken exams), and they let me in for some reason or another. Then, I took my GCSEs at college and ended up getting straight As in maths and English (They were the only 2 I could take as they were compulsary).

First year of college, I shot through it; got the highest grades out of the 50 students on my course (IT), then for some reason, when the final year came before Uni, I just gave up. I wasn't struggling with work or assignments, my brain just told me sleep is more important than early mornings and that was that.

Since then, I've come up with all these wonderful ideas and business plans, that I start, and then just get bored and give up after a few days, then go back to being a lazy piece of crap, until the next business idea hits me (Usually after about a month where I realise my life is a state), then repeat.

Here's the interesting part; about 3 weeks ago I got diagnosed with ADHD by a psychiatrist; I was put on Matoride XL and it felt like it was working; I could focus more, I could take care over decisions; but then... for some reason I decided to tell myself it was just placebo from the tablets, and since then I've been back to my old piece of **** self. I still take them as directed, but the tablets do absolutely nothing. I feel literally no different if I take them, or if I don't take them.

Summary:

I am a lazy piece of **** who has no regard for anything that happens in my future, living by a "I'll deal with it when the time comes" philosophy. I'll gladly screw up my life if it means I get a few days enjoyment on or around the present day. I fail at every job I get because I just get bored after 2 months and leave, my money management is awful. I'm absolutely 100% aware of what I am, and what I should do, but I will not do it for some reason.

Basically, I need to sort my life out, pull myself together, take my head out from my own ass, get some help and start fresh. But I will not; this has always been the story of my life, I've always been well aware of what I should do, but I've always done the opposite. I constantly feel like there's something in my head that just won't let me do it.

Maybe it is the ADHD and I need to try different medication, I really don't know
Hey, dont take this the wrong way but i think you may be a psychopath.

You demonstrate psychopathic traits such as impulsive behaviour, short term approach, no real long term plans etc.

It seems a bit farfetched but you can have a look on this website.

http://www.minddisorders.com/Flu-Inv...Checklist.html

It has a checklist of traits to look out for, in order to determine whether you may be a psychopath.

All the best
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laitankoko
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#4
Report 3 years ago
#4
(Original post by Wired_1800)
Hey, dont take this the wrong way but i think you may be a psychopath.

You demonstrate psychopathic traits such as impulsive behaviour, short term approach, no real long term plans etc.

It seems a bit farfetched but you can have a look on this website.

http://www.minddisorders.com/Flu-Inv...Checklist.html

It has a checklist of traits to look out for, in order to determine whether you may be a psychopath.

All the best
Stop throwing around the word psychopath like it's this fun, new, quirky personality trait. The most defining character trait of a psychopath is their lack of empathy and regard for human life, OP shows none of that
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laitankoko
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#5
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#5
Your ADHD is the mostly likely cause of your impulsive decisions so curing that should probably be the first step to getting your **** together (:
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Wired_1800
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#6
Report 3 years ago
#6
(Original post by laitankoko)
Stop throwing around the word psychopath like it's this fun, new, quirky personality trait. The most defining character trait of a psychopath is their lack of empathy and regard for human life, OP shows none of that
Calm down.

Do you really know the OP to decide whether he has the trait or not?

I just gave an opinion to the OP and it is up to them to accept or reject my opinion.
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RedGiant
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#7
Report 3 years ago
#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
(If you can't be bothered to read, I'll put a quick summary at the bottom that'll give you a good idea what the problem is).

Okay, I'm posting this now, because if I don't, I'll just never do it, and I NEED some sort of help; I don't want a miracle, but this "thing" I've got going on has just gotten excessive and I've no idea what to do.

Basically, I'm a pathetic piece of ****; I'm the sort of person you don't want to turn out like, and I beg you all not to do half of the things I've done in my life for the sake of your future. I'll be honest and up front without trying to sound arrogant or anything of the likes.

Right, I have absolutely no regard for anything to do with my own future. I live in the moment to the point where I basically ruin my future just for a few days of enjoyment; I've taken out loans knowing I can't afford to pay them back, but of course that didn't matter to me because that meant I could take a nice holiday somewhere (Have solo travelled a lot).

I've always been like this - If I get a sudden idea that going to the US alone sounds great, I'll happily go and ruin my credit rating just for that trip; now I will state it was an amazing experience and I don't regret it, but it's not changing. Luckily my credit rating has gotten so bad that I can no longer take out loans or get myself in any more financial hell.

Now the financial part isn't good at all, but it doesn't bother me half as much as this next part.

I'm an intelligent person; I don't want to sound arrogant, but it's just kind of how it is; I was hometaught from Year 9 onwards because, for some reason, I just refused to go to school; I had no idea why, and I still have no idea why.

Pretty much spent those years (up until college) sitting on my ass all day doing nothing but playing games. Probably studied twice in the space of those 2 years, yet I went for a college interview with absolutely no grades (hadn't taken exams), and they let me in for some reason or another. Then, I took my GCSEs at college and ended up getting straight As in maths and English (They were the only 2 I could take as they were compulsary).

First year of college, I shot through it; got the highest grades out of the 50 students on my course (IT), then for some reason, when the final year came before Uni, I just gave up. I wasn't struggling with work or assignments, my brain just told me sleep is more important than early mornings and that was that.

Since then, I've come up with all these wonderful ideas and business plans, that I start, and then just get bored and give up after a few days, then go back to being a lazy piece of crap, until the next business idea hits me (Usually after about a month where I realise my life is a state), then repeat.

Here's the interesting part; about 3 weeks ago I got diagnosed with ADHD by a psychiatrist; I was put on Matoride XL and it felt like it was working; I could focus more, I could take care over decisions; but then... for some reason I decided to tell myself it was just placebo from the tablets, and since then I've been back to my old piece of **** self. I still take them as directed, but the tablets do absolutely nothing. I feel literally no different if I take them, or if I don't take them.

Summary:

I am a lazy piece of **** who has no regard for anything that happens in my future, living by a "I'll deal with it when the time comes" philosophy. I'll gladly screw up my life if it means I get a few days enjoyment on or around the present day. I fail at every job I get because I just get bored after 2 months and leave, my money management is awful. I'm absolutely 100% aware of what I am, and what I should do, but I will not do it for some reason.

Basically, I need to sort my life out, pull myself together, take my head out from my own ass, get some help and start fresh. But I will not; this has always been the story of my life, I've always been well aware of what I should do, but I've always done the opposite. I constantly feel like there's something in my head that just won't let me do it.

Maybe it is the ADHD and I need to try different medication, I really don't know
You already know what to do so why waste time here
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