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Literally dead and drained - But on track to defeat them all watch

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    Never post on TSR, but here I am too rant about life -sigh.

    Literally drained, I've had to redo Year 12 and take on a new subject because of how hellish it was last year. (took Sociology, Chemistry and History)

    I worked so hard that it stressed me out, everyday in sixth form, I was just drained.
    I remember working so much on my EPQ, which left no time for revision, I did get an A in the end though. But that ultimately mean't nothing to me. Consequently I fell into this depressive character, no motivation or energy to revise for my end of year exams in year 12. As a result I got CCD, which are decent grades... which I didn't deserve, and I could have done way better. What also pissed me off was the comparative culture and competition my peers in sixth form had, It is absolutely disgusting to the point that it ends up taking up your life. If you don't get the grade, you don't get the approval.

    Whats pissed me off the most is I aimed to these really top unis and worked so hard. All I got was people underestimating my ability, giving off that 'I can't do it' vibe and just feeling hopeless about my position. Teachers always talk about their successes and it makes me feel like crap.

    So I ended up in A&E twice and had two major panic attacks in hospital, I was completely terrified of the world, people, disapproval, rejection, inactive suicidal thoughts. I'm now on CAMS services and I have to see a psychiatrist weekly and it feels hopeless. Tried medication but It didn't help. I had to drop out of school for a month and now I'm back. It feels like an endless cycle.

    But this time, I feel like I've learned a lot. Its really hard for me because everyone expects me to be a certain character (always has a hard work ethic blah blah blah). All my teachers look down on me from the year before, I get that feeling. Like they are saying ' what the hell happened?' and 'you are better than this'.

    Two more years of this, ****.
    But you know what, **** everyone, my teachers, peers and everyone else.
    I dropped Sociology and picked up Biology. They all think I can't catch up but I've already done notes on the whole of the first chapter of bio molecules, just contextual chemistry really.
    My 'friends' are all confused for why I dropped down, you are the reason why.
    I'm going to prove them all wrong.
    And trust me, we will see who is laughing. :groovy:
    - Exams are pointless tasks that must be slayed. - thanks society.
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    Sorry you've not had any responses about this. Are you sure you've posted in the right place? Here's a link to our subject forum which should help get you more responses if you post there.
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    Yo Zaman, did you make this topic?
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
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    You will prove every doubter wrong.
 
 
 
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