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Other girls don't want to be my friend? (I'm a girl) Watch

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    I'm in my first year of uni and have been putting in quite a bit of effort into getting to know other people on my course and make friends, however, it doesn't seem to be going anywhere.
    I have a friend who makes friends very easily (we act exactly the same) yet when her new friends meet me, they never initiate conversation or respond alot back when I talk to them.
    I don't understand what makes me unapproachable? Appearance wise i'm small and slim and look after myself (wear makeup, perfume, dress nice). I don't speak weird, infact i'm pretty well spoken. However my friend is very average (at best) looking and has no care for her looks yet everyone is so willing to hang out with her.
    I want to stress again that personality wise we are both the same (very friendly), it's not like she's funnier than me etc. I sound arrogant in this post but I just wanted to state things how they were so provide an accurate context.
    I feel pretty s*it about myself because no one makes an effort with me
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    Have you tried joining societies? Whilst I was at uni, that was a great way to make new friends.
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    (Original post by Curiouskcat)
    Have you tried joining societies? Whilst I was at uni, that was a great way to make new friends.
    Yes I have but the societies at my uni don't seem very active
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    Are you trying too hard maybe? Sometimes it shows when people are trying too hard. Personally I think if it seems like someone is trying really hard to be my friend and I can tell it makes them seem a bit weird. Also it might be because she doesn’t make an effort with her appearance that she makes friends easily, maybe it makes her more relatable.
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    (Original post by Khal Drogo)
    Are you trying too hard maybe? Sometimes it shows when people are trying too hard. Personally I think if it seems like someone is trying really hard to be my friend and I can tell it makes them seem a bit weird. Also it might be because she doesn’t make an effort with her appearance that she makes friends easily, maybe it makes her more relatable.
    I definitely don't think I try too hard. But maybe the appearance thing is right? I don't know, perhaps i'm in an environment with the wrong sort of people for me (I don't click with anyone).
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I definitely don't think I try too hard. But maybe the appearance thing is right? I don't know, perhaps i'm in an environment with the wrong sort of people for me (I don't click with anyone).
    What university are you at?
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    What happens when you engage in conversation with them, do they respond properly or just give blunt answers? The only thing I can POSSIBLY thing of is that they're jealous of you but even then I feel as if during Uni it's quite...immature for that kind of behaviour.
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    Probably jealous of you
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    (Original post by Khal Drogo)
    What university are you at?
    Sorry I don't feel comfortable saying
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    (Original post by rafiali99)
    What happens when you engage in conversation with them, do they respond properly or just give blunt answers? The only thing I can POSSIBLY thing of is that they're jealous of you but even then I feel as if during Uni it's quite...immature for that kind of behaviour.
    They're not rude when they respond, but they always just respond enough to answer the question and that's it. A conversation is a two way thing but I have to initiate constantly. There's no initiation from their part at all like if I didn't speak they wouldn't talk to me (if we're sat together say, for example). Whereas with my friend I find they do?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Sorry I don't feel comfortable saying
    That’s fine I understand. I can’t really think why anyone with your personality as you described it would have trouble making friends then. As some of the other people said it could be jealousy, obviously I don’t know what you look like but sometimes people are intimidated by attractive people of the same sex and also people can find it hard to make friends with people that are more intelligent than them because it makes them seem less so.
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    (Original post by asox)
    Probably jealous of you
    I don't know, I don't get a b*tchy vibe from anyone at all, just distant, withdrawn and awkward.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    They're not rude when they respond, but they always just respond enough to answer the question and that's it. A conversation is a two way thing but I have to initiate constantly. There's no initiation from their part at all like if I didn't speak they wouldn't talk to me (if we're sahttps://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/newreply.php?do=newreply&p=74267 344t together say, for example). Whereas with my friend I find they do?
    This isn;t meant to sound rude but have you tried finding other friends and or just finding completely different people to be with? If they don't want to put effort in then that's more of a them problem rather than you!
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    (Original post by Khal Drogo)
    That’s fine I understand. I can’t really think why anyone with your personality as you described it would have trouble making friends then. As some of the other people said it could be jealousy, obviously I don’t know what you look like but sometimes people are intimidated by attractive people of the same sex and also people can find it hard to make friends with people that are more intelligent than them because it makes them seem less so.
    I've had people tell me I come across as 'posh' (my friend doesn't) so maybe it's that? It's quite strange as I've always thought prettier girls have an easier time making friends (i'm not at all saying i'm attractive btw). Whenever I try and become close mates with guys they always get the wrong idea so I just avoid the hassle.
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    (Original post by rafiali99)
    This isn;t meant to sound rude but have you tried finding other friends and or just finding completely different people to be with? If they don't want to put effort in then that's more of a them problem rather than you!
    Yes I completely agree with you and have stopped putting in any effort with them. I just feel like there aren't many girls like me on my course (into makeup/fashion/girly things) and the societies are dead so I guess i'll just have to deal with being a loner for a while.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've had people tell me I come across as 'posh' (my friend doesn't) so maybe it's that? It's quite strange as I've always thought prettier girls have an easier time making friends (i'm not at all saying i'm attractive btw). Whenever I try and become close mates with guys they always get the wrong idea so I just avoid the hassle.
    Well I hope you manage to fit into a crowd soon, good luck with uni life and honestly I’m usually pretty good at making friends but it took me a while to meet a decent bunch of people. Just live ur day to day life and friends will just naturally start to happen... at least that’s what happened for me 😁
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm in my first year of uni and have been putting in quite a bit of effort into getting to know other people on my course and make friends, however, it doesn't seem to be going anywhere.
    I have a friend who makes friends very easily (we act exactly the same) yet when her new friends meet me, they never initiate conversation or respond alot back when I talk to them.
    I don't understand what makes me unapproachable? Appearance wise i'm small and slim and look after myself (wear makeup, perfume, dress nice). I don't speak weird, infact i'm pretty well spoken. However my friend is very average (at best) looking and has no care for her looks yet everyone is so willing to hang out with her.
    I want to stress again that personality wise we are both the same (very friendly), it's not like she's funnier than me etc. I sound arrogant in this post but I just wanted to state things how they were so provide an accurate context.
    I feel pretty s*it about myself because no one makes an effort with me
    Maybe because of the fact that you judge your friend as average and that she 'she has no care for her looks yet everyone wants to hang out with her'? Just because you dress better and wear make-up and perfume doesn't automatically mean people should speak to you.
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    "However my friend is very average (at best) looking and has no care for her looks yet everyone is so willing to hang out with her."
    A few seconds in and you say this...

    Exit.
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    You're lowkey a *****, people probably sense that if you're constantly looking down at others
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    Yeah, wearing make-up and being *****y usually doesn't get you friends.
 
 
 
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