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Last year in uni - Still have no friends Watch

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    Hi.

    so i have been in uni since 2013, and i have not made one single friend. not even acquaintances.

    I have been so, so alone since i started uni and can barely keep my sanity anymore.

    I used to live in my own apartment and wasnt able to befriend anyone in my lectures, so i thought i'd move into a dorm where the kitchen is shared, and i still havent made friends as they all kept to themselves .

    I tried talking to people in my lecture, and there was this one guy that i really liked as he made it easy to talk to.. but when i saw him again, smiled and said hello he avoided my gaze and didnt say hello back. He hasnt talked me ever again and doesnt smile when our eyes meet.

    I even started talking to strangers on the bus sometimes and everyone seems so uninterested in me.

    i get so jealous now when i see a group of friends and just wish i was normal. this is my last year and i didnt get to experience anything and im starting to feel that i dont deserve to.

    im not sure writing this even matters because what can you do?
    • #1
    #1

    (Original post by xsunflower22)
    Hi.

    so i have been in uni since 2013, and i have not made one single friend. not even acquaintances.

    I have been so, so alone since i started uni and can barely keep my sanity anymore.

    I used to live in my own apartment and wasnt able to befriend anyone in my lectures, so i thought i'd move into a dorm where the kitchen is shared, and i still havent made friends as they all kept to themselves .

    I tried talking to people in my lecture, and there was this one guy that i really liked as he made it easy to talk to.. but when i saw him again, smiled and said hello he avoided my gaze and didnt say hello back. He hasnt talked me ever again and doesnt smile when our eyes meet.

    I even started talking to strangers on the bus sometimes and everyone seems so uninterested in me.

    i get so jealous now when i see a group of friends and just wish i was normal. this is my last year and i didnt get to experience anything and im starting to feel that i dont deserve to.

    im not sure writing this even matters because what can you do?
    it does matter and it helps to know I'm not alone ☺
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    I feel like I have to reach out to you. I don't even use this site but I thought I'd try to help out.So first things first, you should take a step back and look at yourself.

    Look at yourself and try to determine if you were another person looking at you, what would keep them interested in you? Do you offer anything?

    If you can find good points, awesome. Put yourself in situations where those points will come through and shine, allowing your interesting sides to flair out. People respond to things like that.If you look at yourself and honestly cannot find anything you feel is interesting, your next step is to change two things. One, how you look at yourself and two, the things you do.Everyone has something, and if you can't see it then you need to start working on your own confidence, talk to a therapist, do charity, etc.

    Do something wild or something you may not think is for you. Join a book club, join a sports team. Join a bicycle troupe a comedy theater, etc. Do something outside of your box that will allow you to reach outside of your comfort zone, and you may find yourself in a different situation before you know it!

    I'd love to just say I'd be your friend, let's hang out online etc!! But that's not solving your issue at hand and isn't fair to you. It's only patching up a problem temporarily. So work on yourself, or put yourself in an unfamiliar (SAFE) situation. Don't go clubbing in a bad part of town trying to enrich your life. There are plenty of great opportunities all over that are much safer. I believe in you! Everyone has something to bring to the table, you just have to find your something.

    Edit: I made an account here just to type this
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    same
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    Few tips get the book how to win friends and influence people t actually works then there's another book called how to talk to anyone. Despite contrary popular opinion you can learn how to make people like you from a book.
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    (Original post by Neverr)
    I feel like I have to reach out to you. I don't even use this site but I thought I'd try to help out.So first things first, you should take a step back and look at yourself.

    Look at yourself and try to determine if you were another person looking at you, what would keep them interested in you? Do you offer anything?

    If you can find good points, awesome. Put yourself in situations where those points will come through and shine, allowing your interesting sides to flair out. People respond to things like that.If you look at yourself and honestly cannot find anything you feel is interesting, your next step is to change two things. One, how you look at yourself and two, the things you do.Everyone has something, and if you can't see it then you need to start working on your own confidence, talk to a therapist, do charity, etc.

    Do something wild or something you may not think is for you. Join a book club, join a sports team. Join a bicycle troupe a comedy theater, etc. Do something outside of your box that will allow you to reach outside of your comfort zone, and you may find yourself in a different situation before you know it!

    I'd love to just say I'd be your friend, let's hang out online etc!! But that's not solving your issue at hand and isn't fair to you. It's only patching up a problem temporarily. So work on yourself, or put yourself in an unfamiliar (SAFE) situation. Don't go clubbing in a bad part of town trying to enrich your life. There are plenty of great opportunities all over that are much safer. I believe in you! Everyone has something to bring to the table, you just have to find your something.

    Edit: I made an account here just to type this
    I appreciate you taking the time to sign up just to reply, thank you

    I did start volunteering but I was mostly surrounded by old people (they're lovely though). I will try to find something, but I don't have high hopes as I'm starting to accept that i'm not meant to have friends.

    Again, thank you, you've been helpful
    • #2
    #2

    You're not alone.
    I haven't made any friends either. Although I might be different to you as I always look or act like I don't care about relationships to cover my social anxiety it still hurt me knowing that I have no single friend.

    There's a nice girl I liked and she is always friendly, she said hi to me last time but I always avoided her cuz I started feeling attracted to her! I told her that I have anxiety problem and noe she avoids me but still stairs at me and smile. This makes me uncomfortable I think she feels pity for me which is even worst.

    If you're one of those lovely people who are friendly with everyone then don't worry you're doing fine. It's just us people not really used to kindness.

    I hope you find friends soon.
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    (Original post by xsunflower22)
    I appreciate you taking the time to sign up just to reply, thank you

    I did start volunteering but I was mostly surrounded by old people (they're lovely though). I will try to find something, but I don't have high hopes as I'm starting to accept that i'm not meant to have friends.

    Again, thank you, you've been helpful
    Well. I think everyone has friends in the world. Yours just may not be where you're expecting them! If your personality is as sincere as it seems on this board and you keep putting yourself out there looking for friendship, I do believe you'll find your spot in the future.

    I'd love to get an update when you find that spot! Till then~

    P.S. I live in the US... how did I get here, on the UK boards? Lmao!
 
 
 
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