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  • View Poll Results: Who else has been abused as a kid by men and boys and who?
    Yes
    100.00%
    No
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    Dad
    100.00%
    step-dad
    100.00%
    grandad
    0
    0%
    brother
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    stranger
    100.00%
    other
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    I am 15 years old and I got a massive phobia of men and boys. When I was 3 weeks old my dad kidnapped me. When I was 13 years old my step-dad took pornography of me. When I was 14 years old a man forced kissed me. When I was 15 years old I had a man who wanted me to go to the park with him. My ex boyfriend said that I am nothing to nobody and I might as well die but also we weren't actually going out he was using me to make me feel better. My recent boyfriend, Justin, who we only broke up a few days ago self-harmed himself and blamed it on me because I couldn't kiss him, hold his hand or tongue him. I did really want to but I am really scared. Any tips on how to overcome this phobia and to get back with him. He won't even talk to me or go near me. I have tried counseling and still am but it hasn't really been about these situations. I have been to CAMHS and got discharged after a year but nothing is really working. Any suggestions
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    (Original post by megan-ginley)
    I am 15 years old and I got a massive phobia of men and boys. When I was 3 weeks old my dad kidnapped me. When I was 13 years old my step-dad took pornography of me. When I was 14 years old a man forced kissed me. When I was 15 years old I had a man who wanted me to go to the park with him. My ex boyfriend said that I am nothing to nobody and I might as well die but also we weren't actually going out he was using me to make me feel better. My recent boyfriend, Justin, who we only broke up a few days ago self-harmed himself and blamed it on me because I couldn't kiss him, hold his hand or tongue him. I did really want to but I am really scared. Any tips on how to overcome this phobia and to get back with him. He won't even talk to me or go near me.
    Hi

    You have had some very unfortunate and negative experiences of men, so I can understand why you would be confused.

    Clearly a lot of them have behaved inappropriately and then tried to shift the blame onto you and you question whether to doubt yourself.

    The issue is them and not you. I can see how they challenge your self esteem and leave you confused.

    I honestly think some counseling would help so you can talk it out.

    The problem is these people were definitely bad and toxic for you, so once you recognise that you need to avoid or ignore them.

    You then need to work on your self esteem and confidence so you dont rely on others opinions and know how to say no and not be influenced by people who do not have your interests at heart. Once you have that then you will be able to eal with situations. What your ex bf said was wrong, what your current ex bf says is wrong as well and if you were that bit more self assured you would recognise that and pay it no attention.

    The boy has issues of his own. Its not a good way for him to try and manipulate you to get what he wants by making you feel bad about yourself. he has issues of his own.

    I wouldnt worry about getting back with him. he has issues of his own.
    Focus on making yourself be happy and theres plenty of time for boys later on.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Hi

    You have had some very unfortunate and negative experiences of men, so I can understand why you would be confused.

    Clearly a lot of them have behaved inappropriately and then tried to shift the blame onto you and you question whether to doubt yourself.

    The issue is them and not you. I can see how they challenge your self esteem and leave you confused.

    I honestly think some counseling would help so you can talk it out.

    The problem is these people were definitely bad and toxic for you, so once you recognise that you need to avoid or ignore them.

    You then need to work on your self esteem and confidence so you dont rely on others opinions and know how to say no and not be influenced by people who do not have your interests at heart. Once you have that then you will be able to eal with situations. What your ex bf said was wrong, what your current ex bf says is wrong as well and if you were that bit more self assured you would recognise that and pay it no attention.

    The boy has issues of his own. Its not a good way for him to try and manipulate you to get what he wants by making you feel bad about yourself. he has issues of his own.

    I wouldnt worry about getting back with him. he has issues of his own.
    Focus on making yourself be happy and theres plenty of time for boys later on.
    Hi, the issue is I still love him and can't move on. What's your advice. I also do counselling but not really to do with these situations. Top tips and advice would be appreciated.
 
 
 
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