(Original post by Loolaa_x)
hey guys, I started studying my degree at a college this year and stayed in accommodation on the college campus, it is right opposite the uni and I joined in every freshers event with the new college friends that I met! Even though they didn't feel like actually friends to meI firstly got put into a terribly lonely accommation ( literally an old old people's home) away from the other students and the move in day was extremely scary and VERY emotional. I put myself straight on the waiting list for the other colllege accommation where everyone else stayed. Even after moving in and joining in all the freshers nights with the new friends I still felt so lost and emotional all the time. On nights out I would still be very close to walking home alone because I just didn't find any friends that I would click with, seemed like everyone was either so independant or just formed there own little groups that I didn't fit in with!felt like I was just making up numbersSome of my family say I'm a 'home girl' and say I shouldn't go to uni again as there is so many other ways I can be successful and some say I should just try again in an actual uni! I want to start a new uni and see how it goes because I love all the clubs and societies you can get involved in and I am an extremely sociable person but I'm scared I will end up feeling lonely and empty still and want to come home again! I feel as if I may be SO sociable that I'm so frightened of ending up in a flat with people I don't get along with and it will ruin my whole experience again? I'm really not sure what to do and could really do with some help? If anyone has any advice it would be much appreciated!
It wasnt really clear to me.
You went to uni at a college rather than a university? As a foundation year and that wasnt part of the main uni?
You didnt make any friends, which meant you felt lonely and you left? The latter bit you didnt make clear or are you still there?
Am going to assume you left and are now on a gap year.
I would get a job and earn money for a year or two.
Pick your next uni very carefully. You need the right uni and right course plus right accommodation.
Being sociable is good, but you also need to be resilient and work partly on being a bit more resilient plus partly on your social skills, so you can convert some more into friends or be comfy enough in your own skin you can stick it out.
You say you went to clubs and societies plus enjoyed them. they can be a good source of friends, but you have to stick it out and get to know people. Lots of friends at the beginning are people desperate not to be alone and they dont always last.
Make a lost of all the things you did that didnt work out and then put the solution or different way of dealing with things on the other side. Whilst you are working then you can practice making friends. Its not unknown that you can join clubs at your local uni as a member of the public and practice that way or even just take up some hobbies. D rush back to uni until you know exactly where and and what you want to do.
Be warned that you will not get another chance to be funded again so you need to know the next time you make the right choice and can stick it out even if friends arent easy to find. They will not fund you again unless you have vert good reasons after the next time.
Once you have a couple of friends or even one that you can have lunch with then it all seems a lot friendlier. When you go back you need a plan. I would take less notice of people saying not to go or only stay at home. Going to uni can be the chance of meeting people and forging your own independence. Its not all easy and it can be lonely, but if you take your time before you go back then you can be a lot better prepared and more determined to make it work for you.
Try and talk to friends or anyone from welfare about how you can change your approach the next time.