Trying to improve my writing Watch

akCambridge
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#1
Report Thread starter 11 months ago
#1
Hey everyone (first post!)
I'm currently in a cycle of writing something, publishing it to my website, and looking back in a month to find it as a piece of garbage. I usually write a 10,000 word essay in a relaxed night- my record for a 15k was about 3 hours (straight), but I've lost that focus and it has been years since I put effort into a piece- though still writing a couple essays a month as a hobby.

I don't know what has ruined it; the SEO, the work, the attention span, everything I used to have has gone and I'm trying to get that back to finally enjoy writing again.
Maybe it was the ironic shitposts made on a forum over a couple years, having a character limit before the 12 year old's started asking for a TL;DR. It could be anything, really.


Anyway (and I apologise for the long post):
The piece I'm currently writing will be done to the best of my ability. From there, I can only improve, right?
Be warned: This piece isn't finished. I've proofread and re-written it enough times now to be ready to move onto the next section, which will be a species' span of life (after using humans in the introduction, grouping these with animals).


What I'm looking for;
Basically, I am looking for comments on the essay (as is). It's a one-time thing, hidden away on the website that will host the finished piece.

Go savage, crazy, forget my feelings- I want to write well. It doesn't matter if you're into writing, reading, psychology, ICT, science. Infact, show it to your friends and let them go even deeper into it.

[ARTICLE IN NEXT POST -- CAN'T LINK EXTERNAL WEBSITES?]
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akCambridge
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pans of life;
Introduction
‘Spans of life’ groups each living thing onto its own span, with spans below being a collection that forms the span above- one that is a longer, larger span of life; one that lives through the individuals of lower spans whilst growing and progressing as they do, as they die from doing so. The larger spans are then realized as something that as another collective create yet another larger span of life. We begin by covering the spans familiar to us to introduce the reader to the idea, before applying the concept of time- an already very familiar and very human idea- for us to better understand the roles within (and the structure of) life. We then go deeper to cover more, going through into things that might not already be familiar to us, going through different spans from the basics onwards each time to help us understand each span of life as a living individual, one as part of a group that again, as its own, has its own and is a life.
The aim of this piece is to have the reader understand the spans of life-- with the reader being able to understand the piece and in turn, the concept, to collectively (as readers) have their own thoughts on it.


We begin with the span below humans;
While there are a few things we can’t live without in our body, something has to be alive for it to be a span of life within us. But what exactly is a life? To be alive, something needs to begin, grow, and expire. For it to be a span lower than us, creating us, it needs to be a collection of individuals that do the former many times (as many) whilst contributing to the progression of our life through their own lives and growth that comes from that. Our organs grow, as in growing older alongside us; stronger then weaker, as they become worn out, much like us. Our teeth, hair, nails all grow and die many times in our lives, but neither of the above are alive. While both fill the criteria of being changing, growing, they aren’t a life within us. However they are us and they, like us, consist of cells. While the organs, teeth and nails are more machine, inanimate, never-really-alive (however you personally look at it), the cells show signs of being more. They show signs of not only being alive, living, but dying; also being able to sacrifice themselves. They show every sign of being alive, and show that their living is to contribute to our lives as progress.
Our cell’s average lifetime- [Life spans of some cells in the human body- VitaneOnline].


Our cells often sacrifice themselves to clot an artery when we’re cut, to prevent the further bleeding that would lead to loss of more blood cells or even the loss of our life. They might die whilst fighting off dangerous things found in our bodies- such as foreign or malfunctioning cells. This word-- ‘Sacrifice’-- was included in the above paragraph to be grouped with the cells being more- rather than them dying accidentally, or every cell living around the average age before expiring, they make the choice- either through instinct, or through a conscious decision- to die for something. They die as humans or animals do if needed, to protect their own span of life or the one above. They might die to protect their own kind, their particular type of cell (as a cell like every other, but with their own mix of evolution such as with the specialization of a cell) which has being designed/has evolved to do a certain job, for the body no less, better.


And so we have two spans: us, and the cells. The cells as individuals have their own lives, and as a collective they create a larger life- taking this larger life as us for the time being. Before we go any further into the piece, we can pause at this early stage to make things easier to understand later on. Once we’re ready to continue, we go into the span which we are, what is here with us, and go forward from there.


We’ve begun with cells;
With the above section covering the cells, we’re able to have a span of life put into words, now to be realized. We now have the beginnings of what idea this piece is trying to put forward, we now know what a ‘span of life’ is and how to know that means (see the following...). The cells are grouped to be one span, individuals that come together to create an individual belonging to a higher span of life. If we take this idea and apply it to the spans that will soon be covered, it can serve as a method to understand the piece throughout. We do this as the spans that are created at some point will inevitably be thought of ‘not living’ by the reader, with the point that they are becoming increasing more difficult without this method being applied. The way of understanding the piece is covered in the following paragraph, with us going forward afterwards;


Each span follows a rule: individuals live, forming as the living force a span above, which itself is a living thing that forms a life above. An example of the living forces are: cells, humans, and things beyond (which will soon be covered). We cover cells first as it would be completely acceptable to take each span talked about here as a cell. Take, if you need to, the individuals of the spans as the cells of a body- a body of a living thing, the above alive span. Take it this way if you need to, just be sure to maintain the separation of each span; make sure you understand that with each higher span, the amount of time we’re talking about becomes longer.

Spans of life;
Introduction pt. II: Time
With each span living through the individuals which have come together, coming into existence through the collection, the span would now be influenced through the individuals mentioned. With each of the lives creating this being spent, being lived, the evolution taking place in each generation will progress what it creates (what is the bigger picture/the larger goal), ageing it and having time go forward now in this life, which then does the same for what it, as a collective, creates. This is exactly what time is; though being a set construct in our lives and society, with set amounts (seconds, minutes, hours, years), these are also units (such as a second, minute, hour and so on) of something we would call time. I mentioned earlier the lifetimes of certain cells in our bodies- these cells living and dying, evolution taking place in both the lifetime and with each (improved) generation, with that progress being what occurs both in our own lifetimes and with the improved generations of our people. With the cells being the progress in our lives that occurs without us thinking about it- the progress that occurs as time goes on- this lower span can now be measured as a unit of time within our lives.
Us being the same, we are a unit of time in the above span’s life- bringing progress and evolution as time goes on, as our lives are spent and as new generations of people are born. With a cell being a month’s worth of time in our lives it can also be, say, a week in the life above ours as it becomes a smaller piece of the now larger, longer life in comparison.


Say every life lives for 100 years. Cells live for 100 years, humans, species live for 100 years and the world lives for 100 years. Each of these spans live for a longer amount of time than the last, but they still live for 100 years in their own time. A cell lives for this set time, many dying before the human dies, which also dies before the span above becomes extinct, and so on. A hundred years for a cell, an entire life, could be a month for a human, which would then be a week, a day, and then a second as the amount of time 100 years is (in comparison) for the span in question.


And we have those months, days, seconds in our lives that are hard, important, happy- and so on. A day can be stressful and hard, a month can be of improvement, a second can be an important decision. Not each of any lifes seconds are the same, and over time influential people occur who make a bigger impact than most. An important change with enough benefit/advantage or following/impact can affect lives- such as a cell mutation in a percentage of a new generation which helps those changed survive and pass on that gene better, or an influential person who puts their ideas forward to change the way the next generations think. It isn’t always positive, but the lives which can be considered more impactful than most (good or bad) can be thought of as a month (or so) of time that helps the life live and grow.
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melindastones
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#3
Report 10 months ago
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Have you considered some outer help? I mean, some services like Supreme-Essay. You don't need to ask for a ready paper, but they've got a plenty of great tips on quality writing, and you may also find some fresh ideas there.
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