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    I hardly ever post but just really need to get some things off of my chest and hopefully grab some advice from you guys. Ever since I was about 16 I fantasised about moving out, going to uni to study a subject I loved and to live independently with like-minded people. When i finally got into Manchester I was buzzing. My expectations of what university life consisted of had been set in stone for the past couple of years, and I think that's part of the problem; I couldn't have been more wrong. Yeah, I know its naive to expect everyone to share your interests at uni (It's the diversity that makes it a great environment), but even after 6 weeks of living here I can honestly say I haven't made one close friend. The conversations with people are friendly, yet so shallow, and although I try hard to interact with my flat it simply isnt reciprocated. I find myself caged in my room for most of the day now because I cant even be bothered speaking to any of my flat to simply waste my energy forcing conversation with them when they clearly can't be assed. I get anxious when i see them as ive ran out of small talk and don't know what I will say.
    My chemistry course is exciting and one of the bigger courses, but it feels like I am too late, and that people have already established their friendship groups. I used to be extremely bubbly and outgoing and I feel like its all just left me, and the facade is getting tiring. At this point I count down the days until I go home to see my family and close friends. I always imagined I would never want to leave once I got here. Getting closer to christmas also presents the terrifying task of finding people to live with and the stress is killing me, as I don't want to end up in halls again and replay this year. I know i may sound like a petulant child who doesn't want to play with anyone but I am honestly trying my hardest with everyone, trying to organise nights out with my flat etc to no avail. It's as if everyone else is cherishing one of the best experiences of their life and I don't even want to get out of bed to face another day. I'm just hoping someone can give me a bit of advice of how to get out of this rut, sorry for the long rant
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I hardly ever post but just really need to get some things off of my chest and hopefully grab some advice from you guys. Ever since I was about 16 I fantasised about moving out, going to uni to study a subject I loved and to live independently with like-minded people. When i finally got into Manchester I was buzzing. My expectations of what university life consisted of had been set in stone for the past couple of years, and I think that's part of the problem; I couldn't have been more wrong. Yeah, I know its naive to expect everyone to share your interests at uni (It's the diversity that makes it a great environment), but even after 6 weeks of living here I can honestly say I haven't made one close friend. The conversations with people are friendly, yet so shallow, and although I try hard to interact with my flat it simply isnt reciprocated. I find myself caged in my room for most of the day now because I cant even be bothered speaking to any of my flat to simply waste my energy forcing conversation with them when they clearly can't be assed. I get anxious when i see them as ive ran out of small talk and don't know what I will say.
    My chemistry course is exciting and one of the bigger courses, but it feels like I am too late, and that people have already established their friendship groups. I used to be extremely bubbly and outgoing and I feel like its all just left me, and the facade is getting tiring. At this point I count down the days until I go home to see my family and close friends. I always imagined I would never want to leave once I got here. Getting closer to christmas also presents the terrifying task of finding people to live with and the stress is killing me, as I don't want to end up in halls again and replay this year. I know i may sound like a petulant child who doesn't want to play with anyone but I am honestly trying my hardest with everyone, trying to organise nights out with my flat etc to no avail. It's as if everyone else is cherishing one of the best experiences of their life and I don't even want to get out of bed to face another day. I'm just hoping someone can give me a bit of advice of how to get out of this rut, sorry for the long rant
    I felt like that at uni, and I found joining societies helped me find like minded people who I got on with way better than my flat mates (I barely spoke to them!), I joined the society for my course so I met people from there and had nights out with them, joined a rock music society -we would go out every monday to the local club, and generally I found myself meeting people on my course the more we worked together in small groups etc. I actually stayed in private halls for second year, because I had no one to get a house with in time but soon after I found my friendship group. Don't worry about it, everyone had different experiences and doing two degrees has showed me that some of the people who look like best friends forever are actually just clinging to people for dear life to avoid being left alone..when in reality they just share a couple of interests and grow apart when they find people they actually connect with.
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    I echo the above posters comment about societies. It might take time to form deep friendships - none of these people are people you have known for long. It sounds like you are trying hard.

    A common theme with these sort of posts is often 'my flat, my floor' etc. Your new best friends might be in the floor(s) above/below you or in the next block.
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    Six weeks is not a long time at all, and in my experience i'd say most people don't meet a good friendship group until the second semester or maybe even second year, despite what it might look like from the outside. As others have said just stick at it, join societies and try and socialise as much as possible, its still early in first year and everybody is looking to meet new people.
 
 
 
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