I'm just in a weird place where I don't really want to do anything drastic but I'd readily welcome, for instance, falling asleep on my back after a few too many drinks and having an unfortunately timed vomit. Like I'm too scared and lazy to actively stop just chugging along, but on a deeper level I really just wish I didn't have to.
Fooling myself into thinking I was feeling ok has worn off, as it has time and time again. Now I'm back into the pitiful reality where I acknowledge that I am useless at the most basic things in life and should stop trying.
um so how am I feeling today?
So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so empty and just what is the point? Any of it? Not even having a bad day, just don't care anymore. Literally. What's the point of the next moment? Nothing.
I'll go out, get some air, feel totally fine again. Then the circle will continue.