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    Ok so some back ground information. First off I only went to uni to basically escape my situation, and because it seemed like the only option. I'd never even heard of an apprenticeship, and at the time I'd left college and was in a dead end job,earning £100 a week if I was lucky and about to get fired. I never went to get a degree, and honestly I just picked the subject I liked the best at school. I got into the local uni with bottom of the barrel grades.

    So I started first year at the age of 20 after doing a foundation year. I'm now 22, I've been here 3 years and honestly I hate it. I mean I've had a lot of fun at uni, and I've definitely gained from it, I've become a completely different person, I'm confident, I can make friends, I can be independent, I can try new things, it's changed my life.

    But I'm no longer having fun. I feel too old. I like night outs still but not student ones. if that makes sense? going out with my home friends who have jobs is way different and much better.

    I don't like the student life anymore, I want to live like the rest of my friends my age. I don't like living in student accommodation to the point that I'm back at my parents who live near my uni, and I hate being poor, I want to be making my own money.

    I'm so jealous of my home friends, they went straight into work and are now earning so much, they live so independently and are getting on with their lives, moving forward. I feel trapped stuck in suspension. going to uni is actually stopping me moving forward in my personal life, I feel like I can only date guys at uni (all younger, not that that's strictly a problem but still limited), I now have a relationship with a guy outside of uni and am scared that being stuck in uni will impact this as I have a commitment that can't budge (yes I know that sounds stupid but it's a very important part of my life being that I'm serious about him as we have a history)(and yes I know the reality of having a job is similar but there is more room to move as I have experienced).

    But one the more serious side, I am failing. I have worked incredibly unbelievably hard for 2 years and I am failing. I have had so many mental break downs over exams and essays. I cannot work any harder, I cannot push myself any harder. I'm at my limits and I'm failing. The work is actually beyond me.

    Now last year I got by as I had a boyfriend on the same course basically doing a portion of my work for me (he'd rather do my work for me than see me fail). If he hadn't have done that then I would have actually failed.

    right now I am so behind on work it is unreal and I do not think I can possibly catch up. Work that takes other students an hour takes me 10 hours. I'm stressed out all the time and HATE life when if comes to uni. I've stopped to going to any non assessed lectures. I've already had LOADS of help off the uni as well. I feel like this is just one of those whipping a dead horse situations. Plus third year is going to get so incredibly intense.

    I've told my family and they are all very accepting. my parents think it is the right thing to do, as since I've told them I've been much happier. My parents think that I am too old to be still in education, being as my older brother did the exact same thing and is now happy in a management job.

    Obviously I'm not doing anything yet. I'm still attending what's mandatory at uni and doing all my work. I'm going to carry on trying my hardest and see how it goes if I can pull my grades up, even though there's no way I'm enjoying it and at the best I'm coming out with a third. BUT I would appreciate advice. Anything really. What to say to my tutors, how to get help at uni, what to do if I do drop out. Anything. I'm also terrified of telling my boyfriend. He is very proud of me.

    Also please be nice! I know this may seem ranty and stupid, but it's how I feel in my situation, and it's honestly the situation I'm in. I'm wondering if Anyone else is in a similar situation as well.
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    (Original post by RonaTT)
    Ok so some back ground information. First off I only went to uni to basically escape my situation, and because it seemed like the only option. I'd never even heard of an apprenticeship, and at the time I'd left college and was in a dead end job,earning £100 a week if I was lucky and about to get fired. I never went to get a degree, and honestly I just picked the subject I liked the best at school. I got into the local uni with bottom of the barrel grades.

    So I started first year at the age of 20 after doing a foundation year. I'm now 22, I've been here 3 years and honestly I hate it. I mean I've had a lot of fun at uni, and I've definitely gained from it, I've become a completely different person, I'm confident, I can make friends, I can be independent, I can try new things, it's changed my life.

    But I'm no longer having fun. I feel too old. I like night outs still but not student ones. if that makes sense? going out with my home friends who have jobs is way different and much better.

    I don't like the student life anymore, I want to live like the rest of my friends my age. I don't like living in student accommodation to the point that I'm back at my parents who live near my uni, and I hate being poor, I want to be making my own money.

    I'm so jealous of my home friends, they went straight into work and are now earning so much, they live so independently and are getting on with their lives, moving forward. I feel trapped stuck in suspension. going to uni is actually stopping me moving forward in my personal life, I feel like I can only date guys at uni (all younger, not that that's strictly a problem but still limited), I now have a relationship with a guy outside of uni and am scared that being stuck in uni will impact this as I have a commitment that can't budge (yes I know that sounds stupid but it's a very important part of my life being that I'm serious about him as we have a history)(and yes I know the reality of having a job is similar but there is more room to move as I have experienced).

    But one the more serious side, I am failing. I have worked incredibly unbelievably hard for 2 years and I am failing. I have had so many mental break downs over exams and essays. I cannot work any harder, I cannot push myself any harder. I'm at my limits and I'm failing. The work is actually beyond me.

    Now last year I got by as I had a boyfriend on the same course basically doing a portion of my work for me (he'd rather do my work for me than see me fail). If he hadn't have done that then I would have actually failed.

    right now I am so behind on work it is unreal and I do not think I can possibly catch up. Work that takes other students an hour takes me 10 hours. I'm stressed out all the time and HATE life when if comes to uni. I've stopped to going to any non assessed lectures. I've already had LOADS of help off the uni as well. I feel like this is just one of those whipping a dead horse situations. Plus third year is going to get so incredibly intense.

    I've told my family and they are all very accepting. my parents think it is the right thing to do, as since I've told them I've been much happier. My parents think that I am too old to be still in education, being as my older brother did the exact same thing and is now happy in a management job.

    Obviously I'm not doing anything yet. I'm still attending what's mandatory at uni and doing all my work. I'm going to carry on trying my hardest and see how it goes if I can pull my grades up, even though there's no way I'm enjoying it and at the best I'm coming out with a third. BUT I would appreciate advice. Anything really. What to say to my tutors, how to get help at uni, what to do if I do drop out. Anything. I'm also terrified of telling my boyfriend. He is very proud of me.

    Also please be nice! I know this may seem ranty and stupid, but it's how I feel in my situation, and it's honestly the situation I'm in. I'm wondering if Anyone else is in a similar situation as well.
    i think taking a gap year due to medical reasons-i forget the technical name) is the best option- its too drastic to drop out now, youll be happier on the gap year no doubt, after its over see how you feel, i honestly think you will be able to pull through with a break and i dont even know you thats how good taking a break feels
    maybe you think your friends are moving far forward with their lives when in reality theyre not, kinda like when you think people on facebook have more exciting lives due to a couple of pics when in reality they dont...i hope im making sense
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    (Original post by angrypoliceman)
    i think taking a gap year due to medical reasons-i forget the technical name) is the best option- its too drastic to drop out now, youll be happier on the gap year no doubt, after its over see how you feel, i honestly think you will be able to pull through with a break and i dont even know you thats how good taking a break feels
    maybe you think your friends are moving far forward with their lives when in reality theyre not, kinda like when you think people on facebook have more exciting lives due to a couple of pics when in reality they dont...i hope im making sense
    So you think I basically suspend my studies, get a job, see what life would be like outside of uni, and then see how I think? Interesting. Thank you Also how do you think i could pull through?
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    (Original post by RonaTT)
    So you think I basically suspend my studies, get a job, see what life would be like outside of uni, and then see how I think? Interesting. Thank you Also how do you think i could pull through?
    youre fatigued mentally, after a break youll be ready to continue-that's what I think
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    It's clear that you are unhappy continuing your studies, so talk to someone from your department or your personal tutor. Like suggested, taking a year out could be an option, especially as you are so close to completing your degree.

    If you do decide to drop out, there is no stigma either. Your parents and friends will support you. Don't worry about what your boyfriend would think, he would want you to be happy too.
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    (Original post by RonaTT)
    Ok so some back ground information. First off I only went to uni to basically escape my situation, and because it seemed like the only option. I'd never even heard of an apprenticeship, and at the time I'd left college and was in a dead end job,earning £100 a week if I was lucky and about to get fired. I never went to get a degree, and honestly I just picked the subject I liked the best at school. I got into the local uni with bottom of the barrel grades.

    So I started first year at the age of 20 after doing a foundation year. I'm now 22, I've been here 3 years and honestly I hate it. I mean I've had a lot of fun at uni, and I've definitely gained from it, I've become a completely different person, I'm confident, I can make friends, I can be independent, I can try new things, it's changed my life.

    But I'm no longer having fun. I feel too old. I like night outs still but not student ones. if that makes sense? going out with my home friends who have jobs is way different and much better.

    I don't like the student life anymore, I want to live like the rest of my friends my age. I don't like living in student accommodation to the point that I'm back at my parents who live near my uni, and I hate being poor, I want to be making my own money.

    I'm so jealous of my home friends, they went straight into work and are now earning so much, they live so independently and are getting on with their lives, moving forward. I feel trapped stuck in suspension. going to uni is actually stopping me moving forward in my personal life, I feel like I can only date guys at uni (all younger, not that that's strictly a problem but still limited), I now have a relationship with a guy outside of uni and am scared that being stuck in uni will impact this as I have a commitment that can't budge (yes I know that sounds stupid but it's a very important part of my life being that I'm serious about him as we have a history)(and yes I know the reality of having a job is similar but there is more room to move as I have experienced).

    But one the more serious side, I am failing. I have worked incredibly unbelievably hard for 2 years and I am failing. I have had so many mental break downs over exams and essays. I cannot work any harder, I cannot push myself any harder. I'm at my limits and I'm failing. The work is actually beyond me.

    Now last year I got by as I had a boyfriend on the same course basically doing a portion of my work for me (he'd rather do my work for me than see me fail). If he hadn't have done that then I would have actually failed.

    right now I am so behind on work it is unreal and I do not think I can possibly catch up. Work that takes other students an hour takes me 10 hours. I'm stressed out all the time and HATE life when if comes to uni. I've stopped to going to any non assessed lectures. I've already had LOADS of help off the uni as well. I feel like this is just one of those whipping a dead horse situations. Plus third year is going to get so incredibly intense.

    I've told my family and they are all very accepting. my parents think it is the right thing to do, as since I've told them I've been much happier. My parents think that I am too old to be still in education, being as my older brother did the exact same thing and is now happy in a management job.

    Obviously I'm not doing anything yet. I'm still attending what's mandatory at uni and doing all my work. I'm going to carry on trying my hardest and see how it goes if I can pull my grades up, even though there's no way I'm enjoying it and at the best I'm coming out with a third. BUT I would appreciate advice. Anything really. What to say to my tutors, how to get help at uni, what to do if I do drop out. Anything. I'm also terrified of telling my boyfriend. He is very proud of me.

    Also please be nice! I know this may seem ranty and stupid, but it's how I feel in my situation, and it's honestly the situation I'm in. I'm wondering if Anyone else is in a similar situation as well.
    I think you should stay. Otherwise, take a gap year then rejoin. Do whatever u feel is right.
 
 
 
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