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    i cannot pay attention in lectures. im not interested in my course anymore! don't get me wrong i wanted to do physics, i believed i was passionate. i was motivated at the start, i brought loads of notebooks and got reading books from the library. but i can't do it....

    eventually i realised it was a stupid decision. i know i dont want to use my degree, and i know i don't enjoy my degree. i had tunnel vision, i wanted to go to uni to move out and thats all i cared about.

    And now i know im going to fail. Just study you say, stop being lazy...well how can i work for something i know i wont use in the future? A physics degree is no small feat...it takes dedication and passion and i have neither.

    But honestly ive been dying to move out of home. i realised i should've got a job at 16 not bloody done a levels!

    Can i stay at uni for this year...even though im doing f*** all. i will not go home. there is a certain person at home who has mentally abused me and you wont find me alive back home. i've already put up with this for years and years and its not a life worth living to me. But i love life so i wont dwell on it i just need to know what to do. my dads paying for my accomodation and i feel like i need to tell him the truth because we are still in contact. but im afraid he'll force me to come back home when tbf ive already paid 9 grand and my accomodation fees. my only other option in that case would be to move to cheaper accomodation so i can pay for myself i guess.

    but lifes hard...i want to talk to my parents but im afraid at the same time. ive been waiting for this since i was about 13. i get anxiety picturing myself moving back home. i just want to stay here for a year, get a full time job and take a gap year next year rather than rushing and choosing a dumb course again. im writing to know if you think my plan is going to fail. i have savings so i could survive my gap year. Also im writing because i want to talk to someone, i want support.

    Have you considered doing an apprenticeship? & I think a gap year is beneficial to help find yourself and what you actually enjoy. And then while you have a job, you could try move to a cheaper accommodation and try to pay for yourself if you don’t want your dad paying for you anymore
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    Sorry that you’re in such a sticky situation! Perhaps have you tried talking to someone at your university? Don’t stop your course until you have a good plan that you can follow. Is there another course you reckon you might enjoy more and do better in that you could ask your university to change to? Otherwise, start looking at apprenticeships or maybe entering the forces? Take a deep think about what you enjoy and think of the careers which involve this. Then, you can hopefully make a new and better start. Good luck!
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