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Am I a Narcissist? Watch

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    The narcissism I am referring to is "covert narcissism" which is different from a grandiose narcissist. I am going to give some facts about myself and then you can judge.

    I spend all day thinking about myself.

    I am currently obsessing over my appearance. Getting rid of the glasses in favor of contacts. Teeth whitening. Upper body wax and a new set of clothes for various occasions.

    I have my bedroom walls covered with "magic whiteboards" and spend hours making notes and diagrams that pertain to my job. I am ambitious and want to be promoted. I also want to come across as knowledgeable and praise-worthy...not necessarily to be "of value."

    I constantly trawl bars and clubs to pick up women. I have read about psychology, female psychology and I keep this hobby a secret.

    My only ambition besides getting promoted is to rent a flat to pull women to.

    I want to eat healthy, drink only water or green smoothies, lift weights and have a low body fat.

    I quite often run afoul of control freaks and other covert narcissists. I am constantly aware and on the lookout for such people.

    I have a twisted sort of sympathy for "grandiose narcissists" but at the same time they can crush me more often than not.

    I enjoy making people jealous. I get pleasure from it. In particular, I like to see men jealous when I get with a woman.

    I am familiar with the patterns that emerge from confusion:-
    • Men pleasuring each other by mistake.
    • Women dominating men psychologically. I.e. A woman sitting in a bar with a crew of men around her. She is not in a wolf-pack, she is essentially mocking alpha men or mocking betas for not being alpha.
    • Men being violent towards women.
    • Men wanting women to mother them and thinking that that is a "relationship."
    • Men wanting ill-suited little boys to father them.
    • Men and women pretending that "grandiose narcissists" are grey-back alpha males.
    • People pretending that "empaths" and "introverts" are psychopaths or shy.
    • People being unable to spot psychopaths.

    I say "confusion" because when situations such as these arise, it means that people are ignoring their natural instincts.

    I am obsessed with my own healing. Healing I can get from therapy, anti-depressants and healthy lifestyle.
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    Idk man seems kinda shallow really, but I ain’t here to judge. If your happy with your life then keep living it.
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    (Original post by Casisalive)
    Idk man seems pretty shallow really, but I ain’t here to judge. If your happy with your life then keep living it.
    No I'm not happy.
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    I'd say yes with a sprinkle of insecurity.
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    You're wasting your time with "female psychology", they just want a man they find physically attractive. Therefore your physical pursuits are more important for that goal, and you'd better served trading time studying female psychology for making yourself hotter.

    You won't be happy though to just pull a bunch of women you don't like. You have to be more selective to make it feel good, and specifically only talk to the ones you really like on sight. Talking to women you don't really like is weak behavior born out of insecurity and the need for validation.

    Oh and also of course you are narcissistic. No question.
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    (Original post by Dekuyper)
    No I'm not happy.
    The kind of feeling I was getting is that your compensating for missing something. I know is really cheesy but would you feel content and happy if you had to judge yourself based on who you are as a person, not what you have achieved in life like your job and the women ?
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    (Original post by RockyDennis)
    You're wasting your time with "female psychology", they just want a man they find physically attractive. Therefore your physical pursuits are more important for that goal, and you'd better served trading time studying female psychology for making yourself hotter.

    You won't be happy though to just pull a bunch of women you don't like. You have to be more selective to make it feel good, and specifically only talk to the ones you really like on sight. Talking to women you don't really like is weak behavior born out of insecurity and the need for validation.

    Oh and also of course you are narcissistic. No question.
    I understand what you're saying about physical appearance. So that's your advice yeah? No more psychology?

    (Original post by Casisalive)
    The kind of feeling I was getting is that your compensating for missing something. I know is really cheesy but would you feel content and happy if you had to judge yourself based on who you are as a person, not what you have achieved in life like your job and the women ?
    As a person I'd say I was pretty dire. I have interests, I enjoy talking to people about certain things, I enjoy work and get into my job, I enjoy talking to women and I have values that I know are good. However...my emotions are not aligned to all of these things. Nothing happens naturally. Everything I do must be contrived and I must be pro-active if I'm to look the part.
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    (Original post by Dekuyper)
    I understand what you're saying about physical appearance. So that's your advice yeah? No more psychology?
    Yes mate absolutely, that **** is just a fairytale told to unattractive people so they don't jump off the Grand Canyon. Of course, by the time unattractive people realize they have 0% hope of ever being with someone who doesn't make them feel physically sick, they're old and have no libido anymore, so no harm done hehe.
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    (Original post by RockyDennis)
    Yes mate absolutely, that **** is just a fairytale told to unattractive people so they don't jump off the Grand Canyon. Of course, by the time unattractive people realize they have 0% hope of ever being with someone who doesn't make them feel physically sick, they're old and have no libido anymore, so no harm done hehe.
    So are you accusing me of making women physically sick?
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    The female psychology part is just incredibly weird. The rest aren't too bad Imo
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    (Original post by Dekuyper)
    .
    None of this sounds like narcissistic personality disorder to me, you might have the vain side down but the element where your point of view is the only point of view seems to be missing? Narcissistic disorder means the world totally revolves around you, you're oblivious to other people's feelings and just don't take them into consideration. They love to be the center of attention and overall they're incredibly insecure people. That's their weakness. They hate having their weaknesses highlighted, because they think so highly of themselves so I've heard. It makes sense.

    Having this disorder is nothing to be proud of. Like psychopathy it's debilitating. I pity their existence as it's shallow and pathetic, be thankful you're most likely not one. A narcissist probably wouldn't be asking if he/she is a narcissist.
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    (Original post by lukauu)
    None of this sounds like narcissistic personality disorder to me, you might have the vain side down but the element where your point of view is the only point of view seems to be missing? Narcissistic disorder means the world totally revolves around you, you're oblivious to other people's feelings and just don't take them into consideration. They love to be the center of attention and overall they're incredibly insecure people. That's their weakness. They hate having their weaknesses highlighted, because they think so highly of themselves so I've heard. It makes sense.

    Having this disorder is nothing to be proud of. Like psychopathy it's debilitating. I pity their existence as it's shallow and pathetic, be thankful you're most likely not one. A narcissist probably wouldn't be asking if he/she is a narcissist.
    How do you know so much about narcissism?
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    (Original post by Dekuyper)
    How do you know so much about narcissism?
    I don't consider myself an expert by any means I just had strong interest in mental health/disorders lol. If self-improvement is narcissism, we're all narcissistic! If you think about it why would a narcissist try to improve if they're already up themselves and think they're God's gift? Would they? That's actually an interesting question. If any professionals can answer, feel free lol.
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    (Original post by lukauu)
    I don't consider myself an expert by any means I just had strong interest in mental health/disorders lol. If self-improvement is narcissism, we're all narcissistic! If you think about it why would a narcissist try to improve if they're already up themselves and think they're God's gift? Would they? That's actually an interesting question. If any professionals can answer, feel free lol.
    Ok well it read like a good answer.

    To be honest I'm not sure either. I'm going to see a GP about depression and hopefully I can get this NPD question answered.
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    (Original post by Dekuyper)
    Ok well it read like a good answer.

    To be honest I'm not sure either. I'm going to see a GP about depression and hopefully I can get this NPD question answered.
    Well I didn't pull that stuff out of my arse if that helps, I read about it a lot years ago so I know the signs of a narcissist. Do you have unstable relationships, do people complain that you are selfish and only concerned about yourself? Even covert ones are exploitative people/people that take advantage.

    With NPD that's tricky, I think you'd need a psychologist for that. I was referred to a psychiatrist for ADD and they told me to get a psychologist. So make sure to ask for a psychologist maybe. Good luck.
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    (Original post by lukauu)
    Well I didn't pull that stuff out of my arse if that helps, I read about it a lot years ago so I know the signs of a narcissist. Do you have unstable relationships, do people complain that you are selfish and only concerned about yourself? Even covert ones are exploitative people/people that take advantage.
    It's been so long since I last had a relationship that I can't really remember. I have been too depressed to have any good relationships to be honest.
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    (Original post by Dekuyper)
    It's been so long since I last had a relationship that I can't really remember. I have been too depressed to have any good relationships to be honest.
    I can relate to that. I can actually relate to most of your post. I'm obsessed with self-improvement because I feel hopeless and insecure. One time I thought I was narcissistic but now I'm in my mid 20's I realise I'm an empathetic and honest person, it's just insecurity that makes me vain. I don't just care about myself, I care for the well being of animals and humans. It might be the world that's making you feel narcissistic, you've gone into yourself because you feel like the rest of the world is crushing you. That's what I think happened to me. Keep with the self-improvement though, that's a good antidote to depression. Again, I doubt a narcissist would reflect like this, they'd rather be proud of the way they are and not question it on a deep level like you have.
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    female psychology lmao
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    Yes.

    Glad I could help.
 
 
 
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