Why am I so worried about having sex with my boyfriend

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#1
Ive been wanting to post something like this for a long time, because im just starting to feel that im not a normal person this is my story...

Basically im 21, and I have never had sex... i matured very quickly growing up, but i cant say i sexually matured. I never had a boyfriend, i just wasnt interested at all? Most of my friends have at this point Then about 16 i started partying and stuff and i did kiss a few people, and i enjoyed it? I was like any regular 16 year old?
But thats all i would do.. i was too worried to go any further. Now i am 21 and feel like there is something wrong with me because i just cant bring myself to do it.. i feel alone? is there something wrong with me?

Then about nearly a year ago i got talking with a guy that i know used to like me throughout school, but i never gave him the time of day... he was my friend? I just wasnt interested in relationships? So he got in his own relationship for about 2 years.. then we got talking again after they split up. By then i was 20 and starting to feeling comfortable with the idea of being in a relationship. Then we finally got together about 3 months ago, and the pressure is getting to me. Basically we havnt had sex, we havnt even been round eachothers houses, but when we meet up we still kiss and cuddle and have a good time? But i know his friends take the mick out of him because we havnt had sex yet. Weve spoken about it? And ive explained how im just so nervous about it, almost scared! And its gonna take me a while to get used to the idea of it? He said it’s fine and he’ll wait... its just every so often he’ll bring it back up, and i can tell its bothering him now some of my friends think its weird that we havnt done it, or that i havnt done it ever? They say im putting him out.. And I know his friends take the mick too, and its bothering me i feel I embarrass him. Why cant i just will myself to just book a hotel and do it? Why am i so scared about doing it? Before people say its the pain, its totally not! I cant explain.. its the thought of being so exposed to someone, and me not knowing what will happen? E The pressure of everything is really getting to me, and now i can honestly say its an issue that is on my mind all the time, to the point where im upset all the time? Would he be better off without me? Can anyone give me some advice?
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DrawTheLine
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Report 2 years ago
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It's normal to feel this way, however I think you're making sex seem like this big amazing important thing, when really it's not. It's not such a huge deal like all the movies make it seem like.

You could start slow, like just making out with him one evening, then the next letting your hands wander and progress from there. Just doing it step by step until you get used to it. You like and trust this guy, right? And he seems decent by waiting for you to be ready. You need to become comfortable in your own body first.
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Sweetpeasw
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Ive been wanting to post something like this for a long time, because im just starting to feel that im not a normal person this is my story...

Basically im 21, and I have never had sex... i matured very quickly growing up, but i cant say i sexually matured. I never had a boyfriend, i just wasnt interested at all? Most of my friends have at this point Then about 16 i started partying and stuff and i did kiss a few people, and i enjoyed it? I was like any regular 16 year old?
But thats all i would do.. i was too worried to go any further. Now i am 21 and feel like there is something wrong with me because i just cant bring myself to do it.. i feel alone? is there something wrong with me?

Then about nearly a year ago i got talking with a guy that i know used to like me throughout school, but i never gave him the time of day... he was my friend? I just wasnt interested in relationships? So he got in his own relationship for about 2 years.. then we got talking again after they split up. By then i was 20 and starting to feeling comfortable with the idea of being in a relationship. Then we finally got together about 3 months ago, and the pressure is getting to me. Basically we havnt had sex, we havnt even been round eachothers houses, but when we meet up we still kiss and cuddle and have a good time? But i know his friends take the mick out of him because we havnt had sex yet. Weve spoken about it? And ive explained how im just so nervous about it, almost scared! And its gonna take me a while to get used to the idea of it? He said it’s fine and he’ll wait... its just every so often he’ll bring it back up, and i can tell its bothering him now some of my friends think its weird that we havnt done it, or that i havnt done it ever? They say im putting him out.. And I know his friends take the mick too, and its bothering me i feel I embarrass him. Why cant i just will myself to just book a hotel and do it? Why am i so scared about doing it? Before people say its the pain, its totally not! I cant explain.. its the thought of being so exposed to someone, and me not knowing what will happen? E The pressure of everything is really getting to me, and now i can honestly say its an issue that is on my mind all the time, to the point where im upset all the time? Would he be better off without me? Can anyone give me some advice?
ok, I've had the exact same problem due to personal reasons, I'm 18, and around three months in he started asking why/when etc. I explained and he said its fine, take your time, It'll be fine; 3 months after that, he dumped me and gave differen't reasons, but i'm pretty sure it was because he'd gotten fed up of waiting, cos he kept bringing it up all the time towards the end. if you feel you want to, go ahead, the adrenaline will change the fear to a differnet feeling and you will feel better afterwards... i think that's where my problem was, i overthought everything and let bad feelings get in the way. if you trust him, maybe just tell him your feelings, and say maybe he can tell you what to do? he can tell you how he likes it, what he wants you to do? and yes, I'm still a virgin I wish someone had told me this 4 months back lol
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