Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Would you be with an asexual? Watch

    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    7
    ReputationRep:
    I'm on the asexual spectrum.
    I regard myself as demisexual.
    That means that I only feel sexual desire/attraction if I feel a strong emotional bond to someone.
    Just because I feel an emotional bond with someone I love doesn't mean I'll feel sexual attraction to them though.

    If I ended up not finding my partner sexually appealing I would hope that they would just accept it and still be okay with me finding them psychically appealing.

    Would you date someone like me or anyone else who's on the asexual spectrum?
    Offline

    6
    ReputationRep:
    I doubt it to be honest. For me sex would need to be a part of the relationship. Not finding someone appealing until you have a strong emotional bond with them would be fine for me but I would definitely want to have sex with my partner
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    No. Categorically. I think you'd find that the majority wouldn't, tbh.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    7
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by It's****ingWOODY)
    No. Categorically. I think you'd find that the majority wouldn't, tbh.
    I can't understand why.
    Why can't they just be happy with cuddles, kisses, hand holding, etc?

    If they want sex they can masturbate.
    Offline

    6
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by MLPfourever)
    I can't understand why.
    Why can't they just be happy with cuddles, kisses, hand holding, etc?

    If they want sex they can masturbate.
    Sex isn't the same as masturbating though
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    7
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by michael1010)
    I doubt it to be honest. For me sex would need to be a part of the relationship. Not finding someone appealing until you have a strong emotional bond with them would be fine for me but I would definitely want to have sex with my partner
    That could take months or even years.

    As I said even if a demisexual feels a strong bond to someone it doesn't mean they will end feelings sexually attracted to their partner.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    7
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by michael1010)
    Sex isn't the same as masturbating though
    Both masturbation and partnered sex release the same hormones and neurotransmitters.
    Offline

    6
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by MLPfourever)
    That could take months or even years.

    As I said even if a demisexual feels a strong bond to someone it doesn't mean they will end feelings sexually attracted to their partner.
    Yeah and that would be the reason I don't think I could date an asexual. I wouldn't mind waiting a few months for sex, as long as we did other things but like you said since there's no guarantee that they will ever want to then I wouldn't be able to date one.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by MLPfourever)
    I can't understand why.
    Why can't they just be happy with cuddles, kisses, hand holding, etc?

    If they want sex they can masturbate.
    Masturbation isn't the same as sex. If you claim that it is, then answer me this - if you're happy for your partner to masturbate to images or videos of other women, then you also wouldn't mind him having sex with other women to get it out of his system, correct?
    It's human nature in most cases to want to have sex with people. It's all part of the perks of a relationship, for many people.
    Offline

    6
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by MLPfourever)
    Both masturbation and partnered sex release the same hormones and neurotransmitters.
    Yeah but there is no intimacy or anything with masturbation so it isn't the same as sex
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by MLPfourever)
    I'm on the asexual spectrum.
    I regard myself as demisexual.
    That means that I only feel sexual desire/attraction if I feel a strong emotional bond to someone.
    Just because I feel an emotional bond with someone I love doesn't mean I'll feel sexual attraction to them though.

    If I ended up not finding my partner sexually appealing I would hope that they would just accept it and still be okay with me finding them psychically appealing.

    Would you date someone like me or anyone else who's on the asexual spectrum?
    I am dating an asexual right now actually (they're also non-binary)! I'm perfectly happy snuggling up on the sofa watching Netflix with them instead of having sex. I'm young and don't want to worry about the implications of sex right now. Maybe at some point in the future I might want to know what it's like but not enough to destroy what I have with them. We love each other and it makes me so happy to with them intimately and not sexually!
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    You only have one life to live so why would you settle for someone not compatible with you?
    • #1
    #1

    (Original post by MLPfourever)
    I can't understand why.
    Why can't they just be happy with cuddles, kisses, hand holding, etc?

    If they want sex they can masturbate.
    Why not just have sex with them anyway? You don't have to enjoy it, and anyway sex can be enjoyable regardless of whether you're attracted to them or not.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Demisexual just sounds like a label for a bisexual that is more into emotions than just physical appearance due to very low libido. I personally don't believe in this spectrum in general (gender is a spectrum, but "asexual and demisexual" are not a part of it- just online tumblr stuff).
    And no i wouldn't date anyone on that "spectrum", as a similar libido level is important for a healthy relationship.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    7
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by It's****ingWOODY)
    Masturbation isn't the same as sex. If you claim that it is, then answer me this - if you're happy for your partner to masturbate to images or videos of other women, then you also wouldn't mind him having sex with other women to get it out of his system, correct?
    It's human nature in most cases to want to have sex with people. It's all part of the perks of a relationship, for many people.
    No, no porn or other people.
    I know others would be okay with it but if I'm "off" I wouldn't want it.

    Even if I was "on" and there wasn't much sex I still wouldn't want it.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    I've gotta say ive never rerally thought about it before but i would probably. I mean if u care about someone enough it shouldnt really matter.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by MLPfourever)
    I'm on the asexual spectrum.
    I regard myself as demisexual.
    That means that I only feel sexual desire/attraction if I feel a strong emotional bond to someone.
    Just because I feel an emotional bond with someone I love doesn't mean I'll feel sexual attraction to them though.

    If I ended up not finding my partner sexually appealing I would hope that they would just accept it and still be okay with me finding them psychically appealing.

    Would you date someone like me or anyone else who's on the asexual spectrum?
    I’ve been thinking about this - And I don’t think I could. Knowing that someone had no sexual interest in me, I wouldn’t be comfortable being at all physical with them, and being physical is a key aspect in any relationship (for me at least)

    My friend is asexual and has sex with his girlfriend for her sake, I couldn’t do that. It wouldn’t feel good knowing they were doing it for my sake.

    But, yeah. There are plenty of people who wouldn’t rule it out. Just doesn’t work for everyone. x
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    7
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Why not just have sex with them anyway? You don't have to enjoy it, and anyway sex can be enjoyable regardless of whether you're attracted to them or not.
    I believe that having sex for my partner's sake is not.
    Asexuals do have sex but they're just not attracted to their partner sexually.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by MLPfourever)
    No, no porn or other people.
    I know others would be okay with it but if I'm "off" I wouldn't want it.

    Even if I was "on" and there wasn't much sex I still wouldn't want it.
    How can you expect a fully grown man to routinely masturbate without any sort of external stimulation :rofl: It's clear that you're never really going to understand the point of view of a non-asexual, tbh. I'd advise never getting into a relationship with a non-asexual, your demands would be totally unfair and it'd never end well.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    7
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by It's****ingWOODY)
    How can you expect a fully grown man to routinely masturbate without any sort of external stimulation :rofl: It's clear that you're never really going to understand the point of view of a non-asexual, tbh. I'd advise never getting into a relationship with a non-asexual, your demands would be totally unfair and it'd never end well.
    If my partner truly loves me they wouldn't do those things...

    I don't understand what's so hard about it.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: November 7, 2017
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    What newspaper do you read/prefer?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.