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Is it sexual harassment? Watch

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    Some women say that they were sexually harassed when a man says "Hey sexy" or any inappropriate words. Should that be counted as being sexual harassment or are they making it sound too extreme?
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    (Original post by Seungy_Han)
    Some women say that they were sexually harassed when a man says "Hey sexy" or any inappropriate words. Should that be counted as being sexual harassment or are they making it sound too extreme?
    Personally I don't think so. If anything it would be a compliment. Otherwise you would get girls who would 'put themselves out there' too much, and would then profit off a legal case when they sue them for saying "hey sexy".
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    The dictionary definition of harassment is "the act of systematic and/or continued unwanted and annoying actions of one party or a group". One single, isolated comment is not harassment.
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    Oh what a ****ing surprise - clueless people belittling women who have been sexually harassed. I'm sure you'd feel different if you've been there and done that.
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    (Original post by Tiger Rag)
    Oh what a ****ing surprise - clueless people belittling women who have been sexually harassed. I'm sure you'd feel different if you've been there and done that.
    I've been on the receiving end of sexually-oriented and sometimes explicit comments from random girls/women on the streets countless times (not trying to brag, just stating facts). I don't see it as harassment and I wasn't harmed by it, quite a nice ego boost tbh. Women are just as bad for this sort of thing as men are, I'd say, especially when they get in groups.
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    The key word is harassment... Generally meaning a repeating occurrence.

    I don't think it's sexual harassment if a man or a woman says some kind of comment like hey sexy, you can simply tell them not to say that if it makes you uncomfortable. However repeating it would count as harassment for sure.
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    (Original post by It's****ingWOODY)
    I've been on the receiving end of sexually-oriented and sometimes explicit comments from random girls/women on the streets countless times (not trying to brag, just stating facts). I don't see it as harassment and I wasn't harmed by it, quite a nice ego boost tbh. Women are just as bad for this sort of thing as men are, I'd say, especially when they get in groups.
    You might be ok with it. But many of us aren't and it can be quite intimidating.
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    (Original post by Tiger Rag)
    You might be ok with it. But many of us aren't and it can be quite intimidating.
    Granted, it'll affect everyone differently, but I don't think I was belittling anyone by saying that a mere comment isn't sexual harassment as I was just pointing out what harassment actually is, plus I've been there myself so I feel qualified to comment without being guilty of ignorance.
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    One comment of a passing woman does not constitute harassment. Multiple comments/following said woman/not leaving her alone when told, does. Simples.

    (yes, I've been sexually "harassed"/assaulted more times than I can count, some bother me more than others, but people need to understand what harassment is)
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    It isn't sexual harassment - I'm sure many people will disagree with me but it isn't.

    Legally speaking harassment has to be more than one instance, so commenting something once isn't harassment.

    Moving away from black letter law it simply isn't an issue - if I say 'good pass' to an opposition player when I'm watching my brothers team did I just 'skill harass' him? Giving an unsolicited compliment is not a problem in most contexts and this whole 'but it's men saying it to women' thing suddenly makes it wrong. Giving abuse is entirely different, but being nice to someone should not be treated as a crime. If you follow them or do it continuously or every day or whatever then that is harassment and wrong, they clearly didn't engage the first time so knock it off - but a one off because you've noticed they're pretty or they say something hilarious you overhear or so on simply is a non issue.

    I have received a few unsolicited compliments - it's not harmful. Simple as. And whilst I sympathise with people who say 'I felt intimidated' simply put they need to get out more. A fair few places run the risk of being stabbed or shot or mugged if you go down the wrong street at the wrong time and you're complaining because someone noticed you're attractive? What exactly is so awful about someone liking the way you look? Further, it's fairly evident they are basically giving you social control anyway - if someone hits on/cat call/whatever a woman and they reject that person, their mates don't go 'punch the ungrateful [email protected]' they start laughing and take the p!ss out of the bloke for being snubbed. If you shoot back to 'you're beautiful' with 'you're not' they don't all beat you up - the person who shouted out gets laughed at.

    In my opinion it's all overblown complaining
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    (Original post by GonvilleBromhead)
    It isn't sexual harassment - I'm sure many people will disagree with me but it isn't.

    Legally speaking harassment has to be more than one instance, so commenting something once isn't harassment.

    Moving away from black letter law it simply isn't an issue - if I say 'good pass' to an opposition player when I'm watching my brothers team did I just 'skill harass' him?
    You can't compare the two.
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    (Original post by Tiger Rag)
    You can't compare the two.
    Compare what two?

    Legal and general interpretations? I wasn't. I was showing it simply is legally incorrect then going on to talk about the more general understanding.

    Or did you mean the unsolicited compliment I mentioned compared to 'hey sexy'? Then why not? Both are compliments based on a personal attribute.
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    (Original post by GonvilleBromhead)
    Compare what two?

    Legal and general interpretations? I wasn't. I was showing it simply is legally incorrect then going on to talk about the more general understanding.

    Or did you mean the unsolicited compliment I mentioned compared to 'hey sexy'? Then why not? Both are compliments based on a personal attribute.
    The two compliments. Telling someone their shot was good or whatever is generally welcomed. Shouting "hey sexy" to some random person in the street generally isn't.
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    (Original post by Tiger Rag)
    The two compliments. Telling someone their shot was good or whatever is generally welcomed. Shouting "hey sexy" to some random person in the street generally isn't.
    That's not a difference - that's individual subjectivity.The thought of the person in both scenarios is the same, to provide a compliment based on admiration of something. The only difference is your personal interpretation of whether or not you want a randomer to shout 'hey sexy'. Maybe that person DOES want to hear that, maybe the player is highly anxious and doesn't wish to be complimented because its puts him off. This general criterion from your own subjectivity isn't distinguishing the two - it's telling me why YOU distinguish them which I disagree with.
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    (Original post by GonvilleBromhead)
    That's not a difference - that's individual subjectivity.The thought of the person in both scenarios is the same, to provide a compliment based on admiration of something. The only difference is your personal interpretation of whether or not you want a randomer to shout 'hey sexy'. Maybe that person DOES want to hear that, maybe the player is highly anxious and doesn't wish to be complimented because its puts him off. This general criterion from your own subjectivity isn't distinguishing the two - it's telling me why YOU distinguish them which I disagree with.
    But he's your teammate who you'd know. You more than likely don't know the woman walking down the street who you've just shouted at.
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    (Original post by Seungy_Han)
    Some women say that they were sexually harassed when a man says "Hey sexy" or any inappropriate words. Should that be counted as being sexual harassment or are they making it sound too extreme?
    It really depends on the situation.
    if its a one time comment id say that its a compliment, however if you think that it is innapropriate and you ask the person to stop and he/she continues regardless of your request id say that it is harassment.
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    The main problem is that when men do this, they don't comprehend the wider implications of their actions.

    E.g. if someone has been in a situation where they have been violated, that is extremely psychologically damaging, to an extent that no one except a survivor can understand. Thus when you make a comment like 'hey sexy', that can be perceived as threatening by the person. Ultimately, you don't know what a random has been through, or why they might find such comments threatening.

    Plus saying 'hey sexy', is a rather dumb comment, and I don't perceive it as a compliment. If someone needs that kind of boost from a random stranger, you start to question what's going on for them. I've had random people come up to me and say 'hey beautiful' but it didn't affect me in a positive way. I don't know them, and I don't give a **** what they think or don't think of my physical appearance. I'd rather they didn't say anything at all. I don't need approval/a random pat on the back from random strangers on something as superficial as my appearance. It's denigrating.

    If people started to really understand these things, they would see how such comments are potentially harmful.
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    (Original post by Tiger Rag)
    But he's your teammate who you'd know. You more than likely don't know the woman walking down the street who you've just shouted at.
    I specifically used the example of a player I DID NOT know.

    This also doesn't explain to me why there is a fundamental difference between the two
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    (Original post by Ninja Squirrel)

    I don't think it's sexual harassment if a man or a woman says some kind of comment like hey sexy, you can simply tell them not to say that if it makes you uncomfortable. However repeating it would count as harassment for sure.
    Interesting, as someone could be contacting you and you could say it was harassment, but it wouldn't become harassment by law until after you told that person not to do it. At that point, it's legally harassment.

    Though saying something randomly to a stranger on the street? Hard to technically term it harassment, even though I don't agree with it. It might be denigrating, unnecessary, and stupid, but I don't know if it could be termed "harassment".
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    (Original post by GonvilleBromhead)
    I specifically used the example of a player I DID NOT know.

    This also doesn't explain to me why there is a fundamental difference between the two
    It still isn't the same thing, whether you know the player or not.
 
 
 
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