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Is it sexual harassment? Watch

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    (Original post by Rinsed)
    Talking to someone is not subjugating them, unless you subscribe to some fairly extreme Marxist philosophies...

    Your suggestion is that approaching someone and speaking to them is an act on the mild end of a spectrum which ultimately includes sexual assault. This is false, they are not even in the same universe.
    It's the assumption that they wish to engage in such nature of talk, without first establishing that, through a balanced interaction.
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    (Original post by beccabokka)
    If you want to appreciate their aesthetics, then maybe going up to them and saying 'excuse me, but I just wanted to let you know that you're beautiful' but even then, it is potentially inappropriate. When you're saying in a game that someone has a 'good shot', you're suggesting some sort of familiarity between the two parties involved, as, for whatever reason, they are already playing a game. So, to compare this to the unfamiliar comment of 'hey sexy' is a category error.
    I have some more points generally but I'll come back to them tomorrow because I'm tired. Ultimately, I think it's inconclusive as to whether it is sexual harassment or not, but I do think it is inappropriate
    I disagree that there is a categorisation difference. I have no connection to this person, they are in opposition to someone I know - not myself personally. Or to give a similar example as a referee I occasionally see something and say 'that was a hell of a pass' - I have no connection to either team I merely absent mindedly note my approval. I don't see it as different to do so about finding someone particularly attractive.

    Again you're suggesting that your personal view it's 'inappropriate' should colour how everyone else looks at it. I can't support this kind of logic unless you can objectively prove its inappropriate by all standards - that is all people in all contexts would roundly disagree. Further what is so inappropriate about being nice merely because you don't know the person? Is our society in such a sorry state that unsolicited niceness is traumatic? It might not be entirely appropriate - fine - but that isn't a reason for it not to be done, indeed inappropriateness is sometimes the best way to achieve a goal.
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    (Original post by banoffeee)
    It's the assumption that they wish to engage in such nature of talk, without first establishing that, through a balanced interaction.
    Every day we make assumptions about people we meet and how we should interact with them. There is nothing wrong with making assumptions, as long as they're in good faith. Sometimes they will be wrong, but that's not the same as acting in a way you think will make someone uncomfortable. Builders shouting 'show us your tits' at passers-by definitely falls into that category. In my opinion, **** pick-up lines in most circumstances do not.

    Secondly, this stuff about 'balanced interaction' is a wrong-headed. Like it or not, dominance hierarchies are a factor deeply embedded in human social interaction you can't make that go away just by asking people to start a conversation in a certain way. It also certainly isn't the one-way street you pretend. Walking up to a woman and saying something like that involves a considerable degree of self-confidence, so when we imagine this situation we're picturing a relatively dominant man by construction. But if a man nervously walks up to a woman and says 'hey sexy' and she laughs in his face, who was the dominant one? Not the man.

    Edit: I've thought about this some more and decided my argument has been too strident because it's pretty easy to imagine social contexts where this would clearly be inappropriate, but it's not absolutely obvious where the line sits. It's the "there is no line, it's wrong always" reasoning I think silly. You have to trust people in general to judge context and social cues, and while this would be an obviously risky situation with regards to that, I don't think approaching strangers is necessarily wrong.
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    Well all i can say is I accidently created a monster
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    (Original post by banoffeee)
    Put it this way, if you want to compare the two situations, then you're assuming the woman on the street is 'playing a game' whereby she 'scores'/ attains validation by your comment that she is sexy/whatever it may be. Fact is, she isn't - she is just a person going about her business..

    Let's suppose she is merely wandering around town awaiting your validation, that's probably quite unhealthy, and a symptom of a society too involved in validation of appearances to respect the personal integrity and freedom of the individual.
    Apologies, I missed this reply.

    I am actually presenting the opposite - when I am playing football I no more want a compliment than if I was walking the street minding my business. The player is just going about their business of doing their hobby. People are very respectful of rally drivers ability to handle a car but that doesn't mean they want you to run up and say 'great driving', they're trying to concentrate. I don't see how there is an implication the footballer wants validation from someone he doesn't know from Adam.

    My overarching point is people should learn to take a compliment and stop being so self obsessed, the discussion is always 'it's my right not to be catcalled' like it's some awful thing. It isn't. Grow up. Critically my point is calling it sexual assault and harassment is ludicrous.
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    (Original post by Tiger Rag)
    You might be ok with it. But many of us aren't and it can be quite intimidating.
    Key difference. Women have to be scared of men. How often do women experience violence as a result of such, supposedly innocent, sexual comments. Men comparing how they receive such comments and saying "well I don't see it as a problem, why do you women" just show how little understanding they have on this issue.
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    (Original post by Seungy_Han)
    Some women say that they were sexually harassed when a man says "Hey sexy" or any inappropriate words. Should that be counted as being sexual harassment or are they making it sound too extreme?
    If someone is shouting at you in the street you would generally call that harassment. If there is a sexual nature to the shouting you would call it sexual harassment. I really don't see what's hard to understand about it.

    The only thing I can think of that causes confusion is - perhaps people (e.g. OP?) hear someone say 'I was sexually harassed' and they confuse this with sexual abuse (especially because the two are seen in the news so often, and sometimes erroneously interchanged) - so they think the person is claiming to have been sexually abused because of being shouted at in the street, which obviously isn't what is meant when someone talks about harassment.
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    (Original post by Seungy_Han)
    Some women say that they were sexually harassed when a man says "Hey sexy" or any inappropriate words. Should that be counted as being sexual harassment or are they making it sound too extreme?
    It depends entirely on the circumstance.

    You're in a bar or a club where flirting is expected? Get over it.

    Your boss says it while you know if you don't accept the compliment it could damage your career? Sexual harassment.
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    (Original post by yudothis)
    Key difference. Women have to be scared of men. How often do women experience violence as a result of such, supposedly innocent, sexual comments. Men comparing how they receive such comments and saying "well I don't see it as a problem, why do you women" just show how little understanding they have on this issue.
    No, it just shows how much men have been conditioned to be grateful of anything they can get, consensual or not. Based on articles/interviews, even men who have been raped by every moral definition often find themselves struggling with it because they feel they should have enjoyed it, and end up with people asking what they're complaining about and telling them they're lucky etc...
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    I don't believe so, but it depends on the context.

    Say if it's 'Hey Sexy' or 'You're looking good', I wouldn't say that it is sexual harassment

    However, when it gets to the point of explicitly referring to women's body parts, such as 'Woah, that's a nice a** you've got there' or 'Give us a squeeze', and if the woman is uncomfortable with the reference, I would class that as sexual harassment.
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    I believe it depends on the situation for e.g whether that person repeatedly gives you compliments (especially if they were different before, you may know something is up/not quite right)

    Quite a few times (only on the internet) people have randomly called me beautiful, gorgeous that kinda stuff. To be honest I don't really care what they think of my appearance and I'm glad I didn't. Because I learnt Sometimes people will give you complements to gain your trust, as well as giving advice on any problems you're having but these are only for them to have rewards in the future. For example they can manipulate you into thinking that they're nice and freindly, want to help but then after a while they may ask you for sexual things like a sexual explicit picture, and when you say "no" they might end up forcing you, convincing you that you should help them like they did for you. If anything it'll be guilt at the end. Which honestly can be quite psychologically damaging, debilitating. I know this is a bit of a more serious form of sexual harrassment and it may or May not be applicable to you, I don't know. But still it's important to look for clues right at the beginning E.g repitition, tone of voice, forceful nature etc And remember if you feel uncomfortable being called "sexy" just ask them to stop.

    Sometimes girls may feel just threatened by being called "sexy" because they know males have this form of control over them, that they have more power. Thus they may think things could get worse, worry that men will use their intimidation to attain sexual things. Sexual harassment can take quite serious forms, both online + offline and as it becomes more common, sadly, I wouldn't be really surprised if someone felt threatened if they were just called sexy, especially by a total stranger. Online harrassment can be ridiculous. For instance some ppl use the joke of suicide (completely unnecessary) to get sexual pictures, as well as saying they'll send ur normal pictures to friends or family. So please be careful.

    Sexual harassment is bullying or coercion of a sexual nature, or the unwelcome or inappropriate promise of rewards in exchange for sexual favours
 
 
 
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