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Im dopy and feel incompetant. Is this due to an inherant fault with me or self esteem Watch

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    Im often forgetful, its as though there is something inside me that makes me doomed to forget something which damages my reputation. When im on my own im usually fine, its very rare that I forget stuff in the morning etc its usually more significant things I forget or fail to notice. Several people see me as dopy including a woman at my sports club. I work in healthcare and a man told me that he was going to ask me about blood pressure but that she had told him not to as i wouldnt know. She also told me that she didnt mean to offend but that if she walked on a ward and i was there she would turn round and walk back out. From the then on i tried not to appear dopy in front of her. For example Im in a running club and a few months ago before a sprint relay race I was warming up. I was suddenly told that I was on a differnt leg (things had been changed with the team) so i quickly went to the relevent place for my leg. The race behan and at the end I noticed that I hadnt taken my t shirt off to reveal my vest. We have to run in vest/club colours or else we get disqualified. Luckily they let me off but I dont understand why I didnt notice i still had my t shirt on. That women (who i mentioned about earlier) was also there and people were looking at me like i was mad.

    I study physiotherapy and on several placements ive forgotton things, all whilst trying to make a good impression! In fact something has gone wrong on every placement. My first one i was writting some notes up and hadnt wrote about the main findings of my assessment which my educator pointed out. On my second placement I had gotton a patient out of bed (whod had joint surgery) and had forgotton to ensure her shoes were on. It was my educator who noticed. I recieved a verbal warning for mobilising a patient in socks which is unsafe. I felt awful after as things had gone well up till then, several minutes later i felt really dizzy, and almost fainted lol as id realised how much id messed up. In my defense it was out of my normal routine Id just walked the patient, took her shoes off as id helped her in bed then the patient asked if she could have another walk to the toilet, an assistant advised me to take her quickly. I saw nurse assistants rolling their eyes at me a few times. I was told that i looked anxious a lot and that it wasnt i stilling trust into patients.

    On my other placement my educator told me to do some mobilisations on a patient (like joint compressions) so i got prepared. Then he said 'actually you could take her in the gym first'. I took her in the gym for a while (she was enjoying it) then i saw her out of the building before realising i hadnt done the bloody mobilisations on her. Luckily my educator said it didnt matter as shed worked hard in the gym anyway but still the forgetfullness was still there.

    Its things like this that happen, particularly when im trying to impress people
    I did spoke to a councellor about it a while back and she said that im focusing too much on the negatives and that me being dopy is not fact. She said that i rarely mentioned the positives about myself and all the things that went well and that instead im choosing to focus on negative incidents and critiques, some that occured years ago. I find my bf to be very critical too (i can give examples but this is another topic lol) but he said that counsellers will just say things to make me feel better and that the reality is im very dosy.

    I dont know, just wanted advice.
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    Maybe a bit of both but Id just carry on dont give up
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    It just sounds like absent-mindedness to me - I too suffer from similar symptoms. But most people I know seem to exalt me as some intellectual guy when in reality I do some of the most dumb things imaginable on an almost daily basis. Are you highly introverted? Do you spend a lot of time in deep contemplation or rumination? I'm no psychologist but it sounds like an inner confidence issue.
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    I’m like that, I’m quite forgetful but I always have a pen and paper with me just in case I forget
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Im often forgetful, its as though there is something inside me that makes me doomed to forget something which damages my reputation. When im on my own im usually fine, its very rare that I forget stuff in the morning etc its usually more significant things I forget or fail to notice. Several people see me as dopy including a woman at my sports club. I work in healthcare and a man told me that he was going to ask me about blood pressure but that she had told him not to as i wouldnt know. She also told me that she didnt mean to offend but that if she walked on a ward and i was there she would turn round and walk back out. From the then on i tried not to appear dopy in front of her. For example Im in a running club and a few months ago before a sprint relay race I was warming up. I was suddenly told that I was on a differnt leg (things had been changed with the team) so i quickly went to the relevent place for my leg. The race behan and at the end I noticed that I hadnt taken my t shirt off to reveal my vest. We have to run in vest/club colours or else we get disqualified. Luckily they let me off but I dont understand why I didnt notice i still had my t shirt on. That women (who i mentioned about earlier) was also there and people were looking at me like i was mad.

    I study physiotherapy and on several placements ive forgotton things, all whilst trying to make a good impression! In fact something has gone wrong on every placement. My first one i was writting some notes up and hadnt wrote about the main findings of my assessment which my educator pointed out. On my second placement I had gotton a patient out of bed (whod had joint surgery) and had forgotton to ensure her shoes were on. It was my educator who noticed. I recieved a verbal warning for mobilising a patient in socks which is unsafe. I felt awful after as things had gone well up till then, several minutes later i felt really dizzy, and almost fainted lol as id realised how much id messed up. In my defense it was out of my normal routine Id just walked the patient, took her shoes off as id helped her in bed then the patient asked if she could have another walk to the toilet, an assistant advised me to take her quickly. I saw nurse assistants rolling their eyes at me a few times. I was told that i looked anxious a lot and that it wasnt i stilling trust into patients.

    On my other placement my educator told me to do some mobilisations on a patient (like joint compressions) so i got prepared. Then he said 'actually you could take her in the gym first'. I took her in the gym for a while (she was enjoying it) then i saw her out of the building before realising i hadnt done the bloody mobilisations on her. Luckily my educator said it didnt matter as shed worked hard in the gym anyway but still the forgetfullness was still there.

    Its things like this that happen, particularly when im trying to impress people
    I did spoke to a councellor about it a while back and she said that im focusing too much on the negatives and that me being dopy is not fact. She said that i rarely mentioned the positives about myself and all the things that went well and that instead im choosing to focus on negative incidents and critiques, some that occured years ago. I find my bf to be very critical too (i can give examples but this is another topic lol) but he said that counsellers will just say things to make me feel better and that the reality is im very dosy.

    I dont know, just wanted advice.
    I agree with those who suggest that it's a mindfulnesss/confidence issue. Trust me you're not alone I feel/have felt like that before and many others do/have too. The important thing is not to let anyone or anything kill your confidence. Confidence is as important as capability and I think your counsellor is right in saying that you're dwelling on the negatives. From a job point of view, people mess up and make mistakes all the time - it's important to do what you can to prevent such, but these things happen and you're not an alien. Pressure makes us fumble - and that coupled with a lack of confidence in ourselves and a lack of mindfulness definitely portends mistakes and mishaps.
    If the counsellor was just being nice, it was a wise move on her part because she can see you need the boost in confidence before you can tackle issues related with performance and mindfulness.

    Don't feel obliged to live up to peoples expectation, instead focus on your job description and live by your own personal standards. You are not dissapointing anyone by doing the best you can do at your job and aiming to do better. It is important to be alert in those types of settings, but give yourself space and time and let people know if you are not comfortable with doing anything (better safe than sorry).

    If you're plagued by forgetfullness (like a lot of people) you could do practical things that help you to stay ontop of tasks and stay present in situations. For example, writing things down on a note pad or post-it notes. Making a checklist for yourself that you go through for all the common and vital day-to-day things you're supposed to do. In summarry, practice mindfulness (meditate maybe) and find something that works for you.Practice makes perfect. We're not all born with the same skills/qualities so don't feel anyway about it.

    Both my mum and grandma are nurses and they complain about my absentmindedness too. In my defense, I'm convinced they both have paranoia but I think that is what working in a health care or any highrisk/demand environment does- it makes people on guard, critical and always on the look out for mistakes (Understandbly they're entrusted with people's lives). I've gotten better at being focused, through their constant nagging and criticism and by my own effort to improve. It's an upward battle sometimes and in my natural state I'm away with the clouds, but effort makes a difference.

    However, before I go on a tangent and ramble some more, I wish to leave you with this piece of advice: be kind to yourself. No one else is obliged to, but that's okay. And also as a corollary, don't forget to cut people slack every now and then as everyone has their weaknesses
 
 
 
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