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Struggling to be social at uni. Watch

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    Hi. I’m a first year student that started university in september. For the past month i’ve found living in halls really tough. I’m a very shy person who likes to keep to themselves so I just don’t know how to interact with my flatmates. I’ve always been shy and only ever made close friends in year 10 of secondary school and even they are drifting away now. And I haven’t made any friends on my course either so i don’t really know who to turn to. It’s gotten to the point that i’m even too scared to go into the kitchen to make food so i just live off what i have in my room and when i do go in there and i’m by myself, i just quickly microwave something then run back to my room. I really don’t want this to get worse and effect my health but i don’t know how to get out of this rut. I’ve never been good at socialising and my flatmates are all very extroverted so i feel so out of place. I miss my family as well but don’t even know how to talk to them about it. I’ve never had serious anxiety before so this worries me.
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    hey. sorry to hear you feel that way. truly sucks ... I know how you feel a little bit but from a different perspective. I live at home and by the time I got to uni many people were already in groups and being a shy person is really hard to approach them. yet when I find the courage my awkward mouth says something weird. however I did manage to make some "friends" I can spend time with sometimes and don't feel as lonely. maybe try actually not avoiding people at your halls and slowly small talk in the kitchen might evolve and you'll feel better about it. I think it works s little like s boost of confidence and courage for the future. where do you study ?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi. I’m a first year student that started university in september. For the past month i’ve found living in halls really tough. I’m a very shy person who likes to keep to themselves so I just don’t know how to interact with my flatmates. I’ve always been shy and only ever made close friends in year 10 of secondary school and even they are drifting away now. And I haven’t made any friends on my course either so i don’t really know who to turn to. It’s gotten to the point that i’m even too scared to go into the kitchen to make food so i just live off what i have in my room and when i do go in there and i’m by myself, i just quickly microwave something then run back to my room. I really don’t want this to get worse and effect my health but i don’t know how to get out of this rut. I’ve never been good at socialising and my flatmates are all very extroverted so i feel so out of place. I miss my family as well but don’t even know how to talk to them about it. I’ve never had serious anxiety before so this worries me.
    Hi, sorry to hear that. I was at university last year (and i am currently on a year out) and i struggled with my shyness and social anxiety so i know how you feel. It sounds like you have social anxiety, and i would recommend you to reach out for some support. Your university may have a counselling service where you will be able to get advice and tips, and you will be able to talk to someone face to face about how you feel. My university counselling service were really useful. Also your GP would be quite helpful and supportive too. Are you in any societies? I recommend being in at least one in first year if you can. Join one that interests you, or something you might like to try. It will be scary but remember everyone else wants to make friends just as much as you, and if you do something that interests you it will be easier to connect with people. If you can, try and open up to your family about it and they will be able to help you as well. There's no shame in asking for help or advice from anyone - university is very hard, not just academically, but socially and emotionally. You could try reaching out on social media to the close friends you have drifted away from. I'm sure they are wondering how you are, and you probably are wondering the same about them. You could arrange to meet up with them sometime as well. You may find that your friends are also struggling with something university related too! Also, when in lectures and things like that, try asking questions related to your course. For example, challenge yourself to ask someone when the assignment is due when in a lecture. Something might not come from that but you may strike up a conversation. Remember that you already have things in common with people studying the same subject, and everyone wants to make friends. You can message me if you need someone to talk to. Good luck!
 
 
 
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