Making friends at uni

Hi, thought id make a post as honestly this is getting me really down.

I moved to uni 2 months next week and i dont have a single friend here. Not even just an acquaintance in classes either.

I dont live in shared student accomodation due to having a pet so I rent my own place.

Im in my first year at the moment, but joined uni laate, im 21.

I am very shy and only had a hand full of friends at school, then had two people id hang out with at college but never outside of college, which never really bothered me at the time.

Now im not someone who goes out partying, so late pubs and clubs are a big no as they usually end with me breaking down and having an anxiety attack.

But I do like people coming round and having a quiet drink and maybe play mario kart.

I have tried to force myself to be sociable here, tried talking to people in classes and ive joined clubs and societys, but ive tried talkimg to people a lot, and it feels like no one cares and im invisible a lot.
I managed to get 3 people over after society one night to play mario kart, which was fun but every time ive asked people if fancied coming over all I get is "nah" or 'seen' on messenger.

I asked the society group if they wanted to come along to two events, one last montj and one yesterday.
With the first event the majority said no which is understandable and a few said yes. But on the day of the event, no one showed and got ignored on the chat when I asked where people were.

Same again happened today.

It seems like if people already have their own friend groups they dont want to talk to others.

Can anyone suggest anything i can do? As honestly I dont want to be alone for 4 years away from home

Reply 1

Kpa Ninja

11

Try sitting next to people in lectures and try socialising with them, like you could introduce yourself and go from there. Also in seminars, just talk and something will eventually happen. You can do this still got time :smile:

.

Reply 2

Analyst89

20

Original post by Anonymous

Hi, thought id make a post as honestly this is getting me really down.

I moved to uni 2 months next week and i dont have a single friend here. Not even just an acquaintance in classes either.

I dont live in shared student accomodation due to having a pet so I rent my own place.

Im in my first year at the moment, but joined uni laate, im 21.

I am very shy and only had a hand full of friends at school, then had two people id hang out with at college but never outside of college, which never really bothered me at the time.

Now im not someone who goes out partying, so late pubs and clubs are a big no as they usually end with me breaking down and having an anxiety attack.

But I do like people coming round and having a quiet drink and maybe play mario kart.

I have tried to force myself to be sociable here, tried talking to people in classes and ive joined clubs and societys, but ive tried talkimg to people a lot, and it feels like no one cares and im invisible a lot.
I managed to get 3 people over after society one night to play mario kart, which was fun but every time ive asked people if fancied coming over all I get is "nah" or 'seen' on messenger.

I asked the society group if they wanted to come along to two events, one last montj and one yesterday.
With the first event the majority said no which is understandable and a few said yes. But on the day of the event, no one showed and got ignored on the chat when I asked where people were.

Same again happened today.

It seems like if people already have their own friend groups they dont want to talk to others.

Can anyone suggest anything i can do? As honestly I dont want to be alone for 4 years away from home

I hope this helps:

1) Relax, imagine you're just observing or there as a traveller. For example, if you are on holiday, you go there to experience and observe the attraction, you're not going to get anxious doing that are you?

2) Smile, smiling in contagious.

3) Be confident, respect yourself, accept yourself, work out, wear good clothes, feel good, focus on your passions, know you are a good person who treats people well, think positively, be proud of yourself, do things that make you happy, remember your happy times, what makes you confident? What makes you proud? Do you have a skill you are good at? Do things like cooking, driving, learning that increases your confidence daily.

Have good posture, body language, improve your appearance. Be happy with yourself.

4) Dress well, have good grooming, hairstyle, have good posture.

5) Just say hi or hey to people in your vicinity, who cares if they don't say anything back?

6) Ask how they are, how's everything, what made them choose this course, their plans for the future, their plans for the rest of the day, weekend, how was their weekend, what they will get up to, what they got up to, ask them about their hobbies, talk about what's happening. You could talk about current affairs.

Talk about the weather or did you see that sports game? Just mingle with them,

Compliment them, say "I like your jacket".

If you know they went on a holiday or somewhere, ask them about it etc.

7) Be passionate about life.

8) Lighten up, have a laugh, laugh easily, be friendly, approachable, interested, relaxed.

9) Look outside!

Reply 3

username3567284

10

Don’t try and force anything. When you know you know. Relax and don’t push yourself too hard to make friends.