Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    Me and my boyfriend have been together almost 9 months. He is 18 and I’m 16. He is currently in South Africa doing volunteering work, and will be there for a total of 7 weeks. He recently told me that he doesn’t think that our relationship will work when he goes to university( which will be next September), but surely if we’ve managed 7 weeks apart then we can manage time apart when he is at uni. I don’t know how else I can try and convince him because I believe it will work, I just need him to hopefully see that our relationship can work out.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    Many relationships end when one or both of the couple go to university. As do many of couples of your age who do not. Sad and often heartbreaking at the time but true.

    Those who marry and who met in their teens are unusual.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Ask him why he thinks it won't work out. Maybe he doesn't want to be in a relationship at uni so he can do all the single things like going to clubs, kissing strangers etc. You definitely need to have a conversation with him and talk about your feelings. I say this to all posts asking for relationship advice, communication is key. You must talk to each other. Start sentences with "I feel that..." so you aren't accusing each other of anything. Try and understand where he is coming from.
    Online

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by megan6dude)
    Me and my boyfriend have been together almost 9 months. He is 18 and I’m 16. He is currently in South Africa doing volunteering work, and will be there for a total of 7 weeks. He recently told me that he doesn’t think that our relationship will work when he goes to university( which will be next September), but surely if we’ve managed 7 weeks apart then we can manage time apart when he is at uni. I don’t know how else I can try and convince him because I believe it will work, I just need him to hopefully see that our relationship can work out.
    It's upsetting for you, I know, but it needs for both of you to think it will work when he goes off to uni. You are both young and at the beginning of your adult lives and it's to his credit that he has let you know that he doesn't think it will work for you both. 7 weeks seems a long time at your age, but it really isn't.
    People change and move on. Being at uni may change him and he may meet someone else. X
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    Well before he brought this up, he was always saying how we could get through university, and he’s always been so positive about it. So I don’t know why now it’s changed all of a sudden
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    For him to be saying things like that to you he clearly doesn’t seem all that committed. Also what kind of a relationship is it for your spending all of term time on your own just waiting for him to come back and visit?

    I really would just take this opportunity to end things on a good note. My relationship survived all the way throughout university, however once I finished I realised we were two completely different people and wanted different things in life, we just grew apart as many people do at your age.
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    Unfortunately he might be going through a phase, something that is bothering him and making him feel like it can't work. Ask him why does he feel like that, why did he change his mind so you can also understand. I know you believe in your relationship and I'm all for it if you want to fight for it and him but don't put yourself in hurtful situations if he's not committed to you. Know your worth and don't give up on yourself. I hope I helped
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    In order to have maximum enjoyment at uni it’s best to be single - otherwise he’ll just be plagued with guilt every time he goes to a party and is tempted. At some point he’ll meet someone he likes, that’s inevitable, even if he genuinely loves you.
    Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: October 29, 2017
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    What newspaper do you read/prefer?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.