Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

How to deal with a psycho flatmate?? Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I have a particularly troublesome flatmate who moved in a day late and decided she did not like the leftover cupboards in the kitchen. About a week later I found she had moved my things out of my cupboard as she had decided this was the one she wanted. I quickly swapped the things back and explained it wasn't okay to move my things without asking and the cupboards were something she should just deal with. Now, 2 months later, she has done the same thing again and I am not sure how to react. She will clearly just do the same thing again if I react the same way? How can I teach her to respect me and my things?

    During this time frame she has also; Bullied the other flatmates about not cleaning/taking the bins out whilst never doing so herself, repeatedly used our things without washing them up or replacing food, been rude and *****y to guests and friends (including my parents!) and once entered my bedroom whilst I was out to leave an empty yoghurt pot on my desk because I forgot to put it in the bin.

    How can I deal with this?
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    vote that ***** out of the house , by force if necessary
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    To be honest, I'd be really petty. I would move all of her things to outside of her door (including food, cutlery etc.) and put the bin in front of her door. I'd also print out a "how to clean the kitchen" list and post it under her door. If I was feeling really petty I'd also open all her food (like tins and stuff) only a small amount. If she confronts you about it, I'd say "oh sorry am I being rude? I didn't think you'd mind seeing as you do it all the time and think it's okay!"

    Upon reflection, I'm pettier than I thought I was!
    • #2
    #2

    report her to your uni team who deal with people like that
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have a particularly troublesome flatmate who moved in a day late and decided she did not like the leftover cupboards in the kitchen. About a week later I found she had moved my things out of my cupboard as she had decided this was the one she wanted. I quickly swapped the things back and explained it wasn't okay to move my things without asking and the cupboards were something she should just deal with. Now, 2 months later, she has done the same thing again and I am not sure how to react. She will clearly just do the same thing again if I react the same way? How can I teach her to respect me and my things?

    During this time frame she has also; Bullied the other flatmates about not cleaning/taking the bins out whilst never doing so herself, repeatedly used our things without washing them up or replacing food, been rude and *****y to guests and friends (including my parents!) and once entered my bedroom whilst I was out to leave an empty yoghurt pot on my desk because I forgot to put it in the bin.

    How can I deal with this?
    She's a cheeky madam and I'd drop her like a hot brick. Warn her about her behaviour as a group thing and tell her if she doesn't behave, she's out - sharpish.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    Firstly - are the cupboards shared fairly? i.e. she hasn't been stuck with a tiny cupboard or something crap under the sink or anything... if so then put your stuff back and tell her she can't just commandeer cupboards as and when she feels like it. She may not listen but you'll just have to keep putting your stuff back. Or if it doesn't make any difference swap cupboards and have the issue dealt with (the fact you don't want to makes me think she has got stuck with something crap...).

    Secondly - have a flat meeting about cleanliness and flat rules. Set a cleaning rota and agree on some rules like not going in other people's room and not using other people's stuff.

    It probably won't help in the slightest as these sort of people just can't understand that their behaviour impacts others and other people have rights. So take preventative action too. This is the normal stuff i.e. lock your bedroom door, get lockable boxes for food, keep pans in your bedroom. You'll just have to brush off the being rude to your family and guests and warn them she's not very nice and just roll your eyes.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by doodle_333)
    Firstly - are the cupboards shared fairly? i.e. she hasn't been stuck with a tiny cupboard or something crap under the sink or anything... if so then put your stuff back and tell her she can't just commandeer cupboards as and when she feels like it. She may not listen but you'll just have to keep putting your stuff back. Or if it doesn't make any difference swap cupboards and have the issue dealt with (the fact you don't want to makes me think she has got stuck with something crap...).

    Secondly - have a flat meeting about cleanliness and flat rules. Set a cleaning rota and agree on some rules like not going in other people's room and not using other people's stuff.

    It probably won't help in the slightest as these sort of people just can't understand that their behaviour impacts others and other people have rights. So take preventative action too. This is the normal stuff i.e. lock your bedroom door, get lockable boxes for food, keep pans in your bedroom. You'll just have to brush off the being rude to your family and guests and warn them she's not very nice and just roll your eyes.
    The cupboards are completely equal, we each have 2 and we have 2 communal cupboards under the sink for cleaning supplies. The reason she wants mine is because it means her 2 cupboards are next to each other, despite the fact that no one else has 2 cupboards next to each other.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    I'd look her straight in the eye, dead pan and ask her if she was raised by wolves and if she has any intention of having friends. Because at the moment all I see is a rude brat incapable of acting like a normal human being, who I do not respect.
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Meh, take her stuff back out of your cupboard, chuck it in her bedroom blindly, and tell her next time the stuff is going in the bin.

    Then get your other flatmates together and confront her with your issues.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The cupboards are completely equal, we each have 2 and we have 2 communal cupboards under the sink for cleaning supplies. The reason she wants mine is because it means her 2 cupboards are next to each other, despite the fact that no one else has 2 cupboards next to each other.
    well tbh if it will make no difference is it worth the argument? presumably it makes no difference to you either except on principle?
 
 
 
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Did TEF Bronze Award affect your UCAS choices?
    Useful resources
    Bizarre things students have spent their loans onThings you should budget for at uni

    Sponsored features:

    Making money from your own website

    Need some cash?

    How to make money running your own website.

    Bianca Miller, runner-up on The Apprentice

    Handle your digital footprint

    What would an employer find out about you on Google? Find out how to take control.

    Groups associated with this forum:

    View associated groups
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.