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    I don't really know how to talk about this but I don't know who to talk to so here I am. A year ago i started messaging someone, it was more sexual than anything else and at the time i was fine with that. In about January this year i grew close with him (we hadn't spoken i a bit i think, not for any reason just didn't need to), we would FaceTime at least once a day, if not facetiming we'd be messaging, etc. He told me we were getting with each other and he wouldn't mess me about and he isn't using me. After a bit we started to argue, and I can't really remember what was said or what went on but i do know things changed and he started to say how he's just sexually attracted and that he can tell thats what i am as well and just a load of ****. If I remember rightly he was very protective over me and used to get so so so annoyed if he saw i was talking to other boys, especially when he saw that i used to message some of his friends before him. Then he wanted to come over mine, well he did originally anyway but now for sex. In the end he didn't and blamed because i told people but I think he was scared. We sorta stopped speaking, and since then go through staged when we talk a lot and then don't for ages. Now last night he was stuck where i live (Taunton) because he missed his bus back to wellington (where he lives). So he messaged me asking if he could stay over, I said yes and I can't tell if thats the best thing I've said or the worst. He was just so perfect and it felt so right and I didn't want him to leave this morning because I knew soon as he did reality would hit. I wont lie we had sex and i think that makes it harder. What are you supposed to do when someone you once adored makes you feel so so special and important and loved and then suddenly they're gone and you have to get on like that whole night didn't happen, even though you keep replaying every little thing in your head. I feel heart broken, i know I'm not but feels like i am. I just don't know what to do, I truly adore him but he doesn't feel that way
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    the truth is...you're gonna have to move on. there is no other way to it.

    this is going to be one of many experiences you're gonna q have in life. someone, the "right" people show up for nothing except to "disappear" later. that's life.

    to stop here, carry on, and try to move on.
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