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Argued with parents over University Watch

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    Hi guys so basically I hate my university course and want to drop out of it. I finally worked up the courage to tell my parents and instead of supporting me they shouted at me and mocked me telling me to just get a job where I'll get paid £1 an hour then.

    I tried being reasonable I told them that my course is making me miserable and depressed and that my plan would be to get some work experience and find something I'm interested in but they just said that the only degrees worth doing are STEM, Accounting and Medical degrees and that any other degree won't get me a job and they made fun of me for saying that my course is making me depressed saying that at my age I shouldn't be depressed and that I should feel privileged to be at Uni instead of hating my course (like I have a choice I can't help it ffs).

    They kept asking me what I'm interested in and I told them I don't know (I do actually, I've recently become very interested in film making but they would obviously mock me if I told them). So now we've had a massive argument and I'm sitting in my romm typing this while I can hear my parents sitting downstairs mocking me and calling me ungrateful and useless. I can't even bear to look at them anymore and I have no idea what to do sometimes I feel like just spending the rest of my life lying in bed doing nothing cus I f*****g hate life.
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    Seems like quite the predicament, not trying to stereotype.. But are you Asian (dw I am)? My cousin was in a similar situation as you. He wanted to study history at uni but his parents didn't let him as it wouldn't get him a job. So he was forced to do Dentistry.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Seems like quite the predicament, not trying to stereotype.. But are you Asian (dw I am)? My cousin was in a similar situation as you. He wanted to study history at uni but his parents didn't let him as it wouldn't get him a job. So he was forced to do Dentistry.

    Yeah my parents are Pakistani and I was born in Scotland. As you'll know it's impossible to have a reasonable conversation with Asian parents they're stubborn and stuck in the past.

    After I posted my original post, my mum came up to my room and started screaming all sorts of s*** at the top of her voice at me and she actually told me to get out the house before my brother calmed her down. I just can't talk to them so I'm probably going to end up staying in this degree I hate just so I don't get kicked out the house.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi guys so basically I hate my university course and want to drop out of it. I finally worked up the courage to tell my parents and instead of supporting me they shouted at me and mocked me telling me to just get a job where I'll get paid £1 an hour then.

    I tried being reasonable I told them that my course is making me miserable and depressed and that my plan would be to get some work experience and find something I'm interested in but they just said that the only degrees worth doing are STEM, Accounting and Medical degrees and that any other degree won't get me a job and they made fun of me for saying that my course is making me depressed saying that at my age I shouldn't be depressed and that I should feel privileged to be at Uni instead of hating my course (like I have a choice I can't help it ffs).

    They kept asking me what I'm interested in and I told them I don't know (I do actually, I've recently become very interested in film making but they would obviously mock me if I told them). So now we've had a massive argument and I'm sitting in my romm typing this while I can hear my parents sitting downstairs mocking me and calling me ungrateful and useless. I can't even bear to look at them anymore and I have no idea what to do sometimes I feel like just spending the rest of my life lying in bed doing nothing cus I f*****g hate life.
    What are you doing?

    Your parents are being very unreasonable however I think you should reevaluate. Dropping out means this year's wasted, what is your plan then?
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    what course are you currently doing? How long have you been at it? Are you sure its the uni course making you depressed or just starting uni? Make sure you are clear with yourself first 100%...
    Research into filmmakingor other potensial routes and enquire about courses etc. so youve got a plan, it ll soften the blow and give you anwsers to your parents.
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    (Original post by daario333)
    What are you doing?

    Your parents are being very unreasonable however I think you should reevaluate. Dropping out means this year's wasted, what is your plan then?
    I'm doing Mechanical Engineering. I've thought about this carefully and I just have no interest in it and am already falling behind.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm doing Mechanical Engineering. I've thought about this carefully and I just have no interest in it and am already falling behind.
    Where, may I ask?

    And you haven't answered the other question. you're dropping out in october, what's your plan then?
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    (Original post by Milan U)
    what course are you currently doing? How long have you been at it? Are you sure its the uni course making you depressed or just starting uni? Make sure you are clear with yourself first 100%...
    Research into filmmakingor other potensial routes and enquire about courses etc. so youve got a plan, it ll soften the blow and give you anwsers to your parents.
    Mechanical Engineering. I hate the course I find it so boring and uninteresting. My parents would never let me pursue film making they wouldn't even let me CONSIDER studying Pharmacology or Physics at Uni so I can't imagine how they'd react to me wanting to be a film maker.
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    I feel you...my dad is the same but he would not go to that extent.
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    (Original post by daario333)
    Where, may I ask?

    And you haven't answered the other question. you're dropping out in october, what's your plan then?
    University of Aberdeen. My plan was to just work in my part time job, get some work experience if I can to find some things that interest me and to travel a little bit. Hopefully I could then enter a different course which I'd actually enjoy.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Mechanical Engineering. I hate the course I find it so boring and uninteresting. My parents would never let me pursue film making they wouldn't even let me CONSIDER studying Pharmacology or Physics at Uni so I can't imagine how they'd react to me wanting to be a film maker.
    What the ****, why won't they let you study physics? That's literally as STEM as you can get! it might even be better than mechanical engineering in some aspects.

    If you're parents are threatening to kick you out JUST because you don't want to be forced into doing a degree that you hate, then here's a novel concept: ditch them. Get a student loan, get a maintenance loan, get a job and just ditch them. You are an adult now, you don't have to put up with this kind of abuse, it's insane. If you go to uni in an expensive area, then it's much harder to live but still, you should consider just cutting ties with them. If they truly loved you, they wouldn't force you into doing something you seriously hate, so just keep that in mind.

    Also, I am also a Pakistani born in Scotland!
    What are the chances!
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    (Original post by Genius kid)
    What the ****, why won't they let you study physics? That's literally as STEM as you can get! it might even be better than mechanical engineering in some aspects.

    If you're parents are threatening to kick you out JUST because you don't want to be forced into doing a degree that you hate, then here's a novel concept: ditch them. Get a student loan, get a maintenance loan, get a job and just ditch them. You are an adult now, you don't have to put up with this kind of abuse, it's insane. If you go to uni in an expensive area, then it's much harder to live but still, you should consider just cutting ties with them. If they truly loved you, they wouldn't force you into doing something you seriously hate, so just keep that in mind.

    Also, I am also a Pakistani born in Scotland!
    What are the chances!
    They say there are no jobs in Physics. I wasn't sure if that was actually what I wanted to study I just mentioned it as an alternative to engineering because I liked Physics at school but they shot that idea down instantly.

    I would love to ditch my parents and build my own life but at the end of the day they feed me and put a roof over my head I can't just walk out I have nowhere to goand I know they just want me to build a comfortable life for myself but they are so selfish and insensitive I feel like I just can't talk to them about anything it took me 3 weeks to work up the courage to tell them this and I ended up being treated like this. I knew they would make a scene out of it.
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    I have the same situation but i'm only doing a levels. To be honest i can't help you but all i can tell you is that you should just try finding a STEM pathway that interests you. I thought about giving my a levels up but then i didn't want to disappoint my family so i just kept researching different paths and i have found something that interests me providing i get a chemical engineering degree. If you honestly find no interest whatsoever and you believe you would be happier doing something else then risk it because why not. But your parents aren't wrong, perhaps try your best and stick to it at Uni because whatever course youre doing it probably will secure you a job but money isnt worth anything if you're gonna be unhappy. Good luck dude
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    (Original post by Rian1996)
    I have the same situation but i'm only doing a levels. To be honest i can't help you but all i can tell you is that you should just try finding a STEM pathway that interests you. I thought about giving my a levels up but then i didn't want to disappoint my family so i just kept researching different paths and i have found something that interests me providing i get a chemical engineering degree. If you honestly find no interest whatsoever and you believe you would be happier doing something else then risk it because why not. But your parents aren't wrong, perhaps try your best and stick to it at Uni because whatever course youre doing it probably will secure you a job but money isnt worth anything if you're gonna be unhappy. Good luck dude
    Thanks mate I appreciate the advice. Another thing contributing to my misery my just be I'm exhausted from studying and just need a year out to refresh and live before university. I'll see what happens in the coming days I guess. Good luck with your A Levels.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    They say there are no jobs in Physics. I wasn't sure if that was actually what I wanted to study I just mentioned it as an alternative to engineering because I liked Physics at school but they shot that idea down instantly
    What kind of crack have your parents been smoking? Jobs in physics are insane! Just look at how many graduates are in employment or further education after their degree, and not to mention the degree is very versatile, because you can get into engineering,computer science, research, and even finance with it. You should do more research to see how good physics degrees are for employment. But if you hate mechanical engineering, you're probably gonna hate physics as many of the concepts are derived from physics.


    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I would love to ditch my parents and build my own life but at the end of the day they feed me and put a roof over my head I can't just walk out I have nowhere to go and I know they just want me to build a comfortable life for myself but they are so selfish and insensitive.
    1) If your parents are using the whole, "we fed you and kept a roof over your head" as an excuse, then that all the more reason to ditch them. They are pretty much saying that you were a burden to them, and that taking care of you was an inconvenience they would rather avoid. Taking care of you wasn't a special thing that they did that made them extraordinary; what else were they supposed to do, leave you in the street to die? This is emotional blackmail and it DOES NOT justify their current behaviour, and this does NOT mean they can dictate your life and purposely make you miserable. Also, if they are just going to make your future miserable, how can they say that you being raised with them was a good thing?
    "Yeah, we were controlling and miserable with you as a child, so it's only fair that we do that with you as an adult".

    2) You actually do have a place to go. You can apply to university and stay in accommodation there. Simple. But if you mean that it's too late to apply to uni for another course than that might be a little more complicated. If that's the case, you could try getting a job and then getting a cheap apartment on your own and save up money for university next year. If that's not an option, you might just have to slug this year out, and when your done, apply for film and move out completely once September comes around.

    3) The final part is quite the contradiction. How can they want you to be happy and comfortable, when they are in fact making you very unhappy and very uncomfortable? If your parents are that selfish and insensitive, then do they actually want a good life for you, OR do they just want a son who who is just a money making machine so they can just brag to people saying, "Hey, my son's a mechanical engineer, and he makes a lot of money! Will everyone please accept us now?".

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I feel like I just can't talk to them about anything it took me 3 weeks to work up the courage to tell them this and I ended up being treated like this. I knew they would make a scene out of it.
    If this is how they are making you feel, the you should seriously consider if they have your best interests in mind, or THEIR best interests in mind. Parents are supposed to be sources of inspiration, comfort and consolidation. Not emotional blackmail, belittlment and insults.
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    (Original post by Rian1996)
    I have the same situation but i'm only doing a levels. To be honest i can't help you but all i can tell you is that you should just try finding a STEM pathway that interests you. I thought about giving my a levels up but then i didn't want to disappoint my family so i just kept researching different paths and i have found something that interests me providing i get a chemical engineering degree. If you honestly find no interest whatsoever and you believe you would be happier doing something else then risk it because why not. But your parents aren't wrong, perhaps try your best and stick to it at Uni because whatever course youre doing it probably will secure you a job but money isnt worth anything if you're gonna be unhappy. Good luck dude
    I don't understand how you can justify his parents behaviour? Also, they are wrong. Just because STEM degrees have much higher employability and job prospects, doesn't mean that every other degree is completely useless. How does "fewer job prospects" equate to no job prospects at all?
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    (Original post by Genius kid)
    I don't understand how you can justify his parents behaviour? Also, they are wrong. Just because STEM degrees have much higher employability and job prospects, doesn't mean that every other degree is completely useless. How does "fewer job prospects" equate to no job prospects at all?
    I can justify his parents behaviour because i grew up the same way. You said it yourself 'higher employability' so its easier to find work if he does the STEM course. Obviously he can still find work if he doesn't follow through with this STEM course but i was just saying he shouldn't abandon it so soon, take a break perhaps its just stress that's making him feel this way. I wanted to be an actor a few years ago but then i completely changed. He needs to decide for himself but his parents only want what they think is best for him. But like i said before he should do what makes him happy.

    In addition he should plan each route hes thinking of taking. I've even planned for what im going to do if i fail my a levels. Anyway i hope he works it out for himself.
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    (Original post by Rian1996)
    I can justify his parents behaviour because i grew up the same way.
    What kind of logic is this?! For the record, I ALSO grew up the same way, and I can tell you that it isn't very pleasent growing up in a household of near constant emotional blackmail, control, and emotional and verbal abuse. "Yeah I had something really *****y happen to me as a kid, so that makes it perfectly fine for other people to have it happen to them." That's just backswards and stupid.

    (Original post by Rian1996)
    You said it yourself 'higher employability' so its easier to find work if he does the STEM course. Obviously he can still find work if he doesn't follow through with this STEM course but i was just saying he shouldn't abandon it so soon, take a break perhaps its just stress that's making him feel this way. I wanted to be an actor a few years ago but then i completely changed.
    I'm pretty sure stress alone doesn't make you hate a subject you supposedly want to do. If he hates it at this stage, then he's probably gonna hate it in the future. Also the whole "do something you hate because money" is BS. Also, I don't know how you can compare a lifelong dream with something that I assume was just a shower thought you had because you wanted to become rich and famous.

    (Original post by Rian1996)
    He needs to decide for himself but his parents only want what they think is best for him. But like i said before he should do what makes him happy. In addition he should plan each route hes thinking of taking. I've even planned for what im going to do if i fail my a levels. Anyway i hope he works it out for himself.
    If his parents really wanted what was best for him, why do they have to act like such abusive dicks to him? If they really did want the best, they would try to reason with him and to see his point of view and see what they can do with that instead of insulting, berating, and forcefully controlling him? Isn't it more likely that they haven't got what's best for him in mind, but actually what's best for THEMSELVES in mind, so they can then brag to to everyone saying, "Our son is a mechanical engieneer and he makes a lot of money, so will everyone accept us now!". Also I never said that he shouldn't plan.
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    I think his parents want what they think is best for him, that's quite different to what is actually best for him.
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    (Original post by gjd800)
    I think his parents want what they think is best for him, that's quite different to what is actually best for him.
    Perhaps but that doesn't necessarily mean dropping out of his degree to work presumably unskilled jobs and try to become a filmmaker is best for him either. There's no particular reason why he couldn't pursue filmmaking after finishing his degree, and in that case he'd have something to fall back on. You don't have to love something to get good grades in it tbh, and if he's a fresher a conclusion that he really hates the entire degree is massively premature anyway.
 
 
 
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