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    (Original post by TimmonaPortella)
    Perhaps but that doesn't necessarily mean dropping out of his degree to work presumably unskilled jobs and try to become a filmmaker is best for him either. There's no particular reason why he couldn't pursue filmmaking after finishing his degree, and in that case he'd have something to fall back on. You don't have to love something to get good grades in it tbh, and if he's a fresher a conclusion that he really hates the entire degree is massively premature anyway.
    Some people don't need to love it to do well, others do. Anecdotally, if I'm not interested in something then it simply doesn't get done, and that was the case for my first degree (which I promptly left). I take the point about having plans etc, but putting yourself through three years of something you already despise is absolutely pointless, IMO. If the degree is despised then it's likely any work that directly stems from it will be as well.

    Seems to me that there is no simple one-size-fits-all answer, though. Which is perhaps not what the OP wants to hear.
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    My parents are exactly the same but I guess I know how to work my way around then lol. I convinced my dad to let me do physics, he studied chemical engineering so he kinda understood. I also said I’ll go into engineering after my degree.

    I would suggest possibly finishing your degree and maybe pursue filming making as a hobby. Once you’ve come up with an amazing like bullet proof plan, they’ll come on board. It’ll be hard but it’s doable honestly, plus you need them on your side as you work things out. You could get into an a scheme or possibly get work experience opportunities as you’re searching. You just neee to keep on top of it and you seem like you’ve got a drive. I’m sure your passions won’t fail you, it’ll be less hassle and stress that way. They’re only going to keep mocking you and being virtually impossible to deal with, trust me I’ve been there not a great place.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    They say there are no jobs in Physics. I wasn't sure if that was actually what I wanted to study I just mentioned it as an alternative to engineering because I liked Physics at school but they shot that idea down instantly.

    I would love to ditch my parents and build my own life but at the end of the day they feed me and put a roof over my head I can't just walk out I have nowhere to goand I know they just want me to build a comfortable life for myself but they are so selfish and insensitive I feel like I just can't talk to them about anything it took me 3 weeks to work up the courage to tell them this and I ended up being treated like this. I knew they would make a scene out of it.
    My son has a 2:2 in Physics and never been unemployed - it is the best degree ever.
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    (Original post by Genius kid)
    What kind of logic is this?! For the record, I ALSO grew up the same way, and I can tell you that it isn't very pleasent growing up in a household of near constant emotional blackmail, control, and emotional and verbal abuse. "Yeah I had something really *****y happen to me as a kid, so that makes it perfectly fine for other people to have it happen to them." That's just backswards and stupid.



    I'm pretty sure stress alone doesn't make you hate a subject you supposedly want to do. If he hates it at this stage, then he's probably gonna hate it in the future. Also the whole "do something you hate because money" is BS. Also, I don't know how you can compare a lifelong dream with something that I assume was just a shower thought you had because you wanted to become rich and famous.



    If his parents really wanted what was best for him, why do they have to act like such abusive dicks to him? If they really did want the best, they would try to reason with him and to see his point of view and see what they can do with that instead of insulting, berating, and forcefully controlling him? Isn't it more likely that they haven't got what's best for him in mind, but actually what's best for THEMSELVES in mind, so they can then brag to to everyone saying, "Our son is a mechanical engieneer and he makes a lot of money, so will everyone accept us now!". Also I never said that he shouldn't plan.
    You seem to be taking this a bit too personal. I'm only saying that his parents aren't probably as bad as you're making out. I don't know his parents but i doubt they are just being purely selfish and he cant just walk away from family his so easily. I don't think what they're doing is that bad. They should be more supportive sure but they want what they think is best for their son. He still has the freedom to make his own decisions yet his family don't want him to be unstable in a job that he may have only dreamt in the past as it appeared as an easier alternative.

    I dreamt of being an actor for much longer than just a thought i attended classes for around 6 - 7 years but then i thought that becoming an actor wasn't stable enough for my future so i dropped what was an old dream and adopted a new one. People change over time and he may adapt to the course hes doing. If he hates his engineering that much then drop it sure but maybe the struggle will be worth it. Especially when he has a family to provide for.

    Also stress alone made me hate a GCSE i had chosen despite me having previous loved it in the past.

    Overall, he should do what he thinks is best for him. He shouldn't feel neglected by his parents and just keep trying to communicate his problem so he can work around it. If his parents are that bad and wont give him a chance then they're not good parents at all but i don't believe they can be that bad. I haven't read every reply on this thread but i just believe he should continue with the course and then follow his dream as then his family will be happy and hopefully so will he. Anyway, best of luck to him on his problem.
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    (Original post by Rian1996)
    You seem to be taking this a bit too personal. I'm only saying that his parents aren't probably as bad as you're making out. I don't know his parents but i doubt they are just being purely selfish and he cant just walk away from family his so easily. I don't think what they're doing is that bad. They should be more supportive sure but they want what they think is best for their son.
    So me saying the right thing and calling you out for your BS is "taking it a bit too personal"? Lol nice try mate. His parents probably aren't as selfless as you're making them out to be either, and judging by their actions as he described them, then they ARE being completely selfish and abusive. I can't believe you're trying to justify this. Also, he can walk away from his family very easily. He is not a child, he is an ADULT and he can go to university on his own through loans and a job and whatnot. I have already explained why the whole "they want what's best for their son" excuse is total BS, so it would be in your best interest to stop using it.

    (Original post by Rian1996)
    He still has the freedom to make his own decisions yet his family don't want him to be unstable in a job that he may have only dreamt in the past as it appeared as an easier alternative. I dreamt of being an actor for much longer than just a thought i attended classes for around 6 - 7 years but then i thought that becoming an actor wasn't stable enough for my future so i dropped what was an old dream and adopted a new one.
    1) Easier alternative? People don't become filmmakers because its an "easier alternative". It's a hard task to become a successful filmmaker and please don't reply with "that's why he should go into engineering because jobs" because a slightly higher employment rate is hardly a reason why you should pick a degree you know you are going to hate and do a job for the rest of your life that you know you are going to hate. If he goes into filmmaking, then he needs to work very hard, but that's no reason not to do it because all degrees are challenging in their own way.

    2) Were the classes you attended your English classes where you did drama during secondary school? If so, then you can hardly say that you went out of your way to study drama for 6-7 years, and if you did, did it never occur to you during those 6-7 years that drama might not be a very stable career? Lol, the best part is that you don't explicitly mention what kind of classes you attended.

    (Original post by Rian1996)
    People change over time and he may adapt to the course hes doing. If he hates his engineering that much then drop it sure but maybe the struggle will be worth it. Especially when he has a family to provide for.
    1) If he had the dream of becoming a filmmaker since he was a child and is now 18-20 years old and still has that dream, then its very unlikely that he will change his mind now.

    2) There are two types of people in this world. Those who love mechanical engineering, and those who hate it. It's one of those subjects you either love or hate, and if he hates it now, then he will most likely be hating it in the future. People don't just "adapt" to mechanical engineering, especially if they hate it. That's absurd.

    3) You seem to have contradicted yourself pretty badly. How can the struggle be worth it if he knows he is going to hate his job? How can the struggle be worth it if he is just going to drop out?

    4) The last line is total BS. He is under NO obligation to provide anything for his family, especially with how they have been treating him. Don't reply with "but they provided food and shelter for him" because this does not justify abuse, and it doesn't make them particularly good parents as this is a basic requirement, and they are essentially saying that he was a burden on them and that raising him was a chore, otherwise they wouldn't use that argument to force him to do what they want. Truly good parents will never use that excuse to force you do do anything, as raising a child is a privilege, NOT a burden, and you would never force your child to do something they don't want because it was a privilege for you to raise them.

    4.1) Also, his parents should have jobs. They are also adults and shouldn't have to rely on their son to make them money after they emotionally blackmailed/abused and forced him into getting a job he doesn't even want. If they get too old, then they can just go to a nursing home. He doesn't have to do anything for them anymore.

    (Original post by Rian1996)
    Also stress alone made me hate a GCSE i had chosen despite me having previous loved it in the past.
    Ah yes. The whole, "something happened to me so it must have happened to everyone else" argument. Personal stories hold very little value as arguments (if they hold any value at all) because it's stuff that happened due to personal circumstances and feelings which really only apply to themselves and a few other which may feel the same way, and hardly acts as a representation of a majority because not everyone thinks, feels and acts the same way you do. Also, a lot of people would say that they hate subjects they used to love, but this is most likely because the content got harder and not because of actual stress.

    (Original post by Rian1996)
    Overall, he should do what he thinks is best for him. He shouldn't feel neglected by his parents and just keep trying to communicate his problem so he can work around it. If his parents are that bad and wont give him a chance then they're not good parents at all but i don't believe they can be that bad. I haven't read every reply on this thread but i just believe he should continue with the course and then follow his dream as then his family will be happy and hopefully so will he. Anyway, best of luck to him on his problem.
    1) How is he supposed to not feel neglected if he is almost constantly being forced to do things he doesn't want to by them without any consideration for how he feels?

    2) He's already tried communicating with them, and it hasn't worked. If that's the response they give then how can you possibly expect them to be reasonable? If that's their default response, then they hardly deserve a second chance if he does give them a second chance, how will what they say change so dramatically?

    3) I find it highly unlikely that his family will be happy with his dream given their reps as to it so far, also I would argue that his parents don't even deserve to be happy if that's how they treat their son.
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    (Original post by Genius kid)
    So me saying the right thing and calling you out for your BS is "taking it a bit too personal"? Lol nice try mate. His parents probably aren't as selfless as you're making them out to be either, and judging by their actions as he described them, then they ARE being completely selfish and abusive. I can't believe you're trying to justify this. Also, he can walk away from his family very easily. He is not a child, he is an ADULT and he can go to university on his own through loans and a job and whatnot. I have already explained why the whole "they want what's best for their son" excuse is total BS, so it would be in your best interest to stop using it.



    1) Easier alternative? People don't become filmmakers because its an "easier alternative". It's a hard task to become a successful filmmaker and please don't reply with "that's why he should go into engineering because jobs" because a slightly higher employment rate is hardly a reason why you should pick a degree you know you are going to hate and do a job for the rest of your life that you know you are going to hate. If he goes into filmmaking, then he needs to work very hard, but that's no reason not to do it because all degrees are challenging in their own way.

    2) Were the classes you attended your English classes where you did drama during secondary school? If so, then you can hardly say that you went out of your way to study drama for 6-7 years, and if you did, did it never occur to you during those 6-7 years that drama might not be a very stable career? Lol, the best part is that you don't explicitly mention what kind of classes you attended.



    1) If he had the dream of becoming a filmmaker since he was a child and is now 18-20 years old and still has that dream, then its very unlikely that he will change his mind now.

    2) There are two types of people in this world. Those who love mechanical engineering, and those who hate it. It's one of those subjects you either love or hate, and if he hates it now, then he will most likely be hating it in the future. People don't just "adapt" to mechanical engineering, especially if they hate it. That's absurd.

    3) You seem to have contradicted yourself pretty badly. How can the struggle be worth it if he knows he is going to hate his job? How can the struggle be worth it if he is just going to drop out?

    4) The last line is total BS. He is under NO obligation to provide anything for his family, especially with how they have been treating him. Don't reply with "but they provided food and shelter for him" because this does not justify abuse, and it doesn't make them particularly good parents as this is a basic requirement, and they are essentially saying that he was a burden on them and that raising him was a chore, otherwise they wouldn't use that argument to force him to do what they want. Truly good parents will never use that excuse to force you do do anything, as raising a child is a privilege, NOT a burden, and you would never force your child to do something they don't want because it was a privilege for you to raise them.

    4.1) Also, his parents should have jobs. They are also adults and shouldn't have to rely on their son to make them money after they emotionally blackmailed/abused and forced him into getting a job he doesn't even want. If they get too old, then they can just go to a nursing home. He doesn't have to do anything for them anymore.



    Ah yes. The whole, "something happened to me so it must have happened to everyone else" argument. Personal stories hold very little value as arguments (if they hold any value at all) because it's stuff that happened due to personal circumstances and feelings which really only apply to themselves and a few other which may feel the same way, and hardly acts as a representation of a majority because not everyone thinks, feels and acts the same way you do. Also, a lot of people would say that they hate subjects they used to love, but this is most likely because the content got harder and not because of actual stress.



    1) How is he supposed to not feel neglected if he is almost constantly being forced to do things he doesn't want to by them without any consideration for how he feels?

    2) He's already tried communicating with them, and it hasn't worked. If that's the response they give then how can you possibly expect them to be reasonable? If that's their default response, then they hardly deserve a second chance if he does give them a second chance, how will what they say change so dramatically?

    3) I find it highly unlikely that his family will be happy with his dream given their reps as to it so far, also I would argue that his parents don't even deserve to be happy if that's how they treat their son.
    You don't know what the right thing is here and neither do I. Its not a black and white do this do that sort of thing. I'm not talking 'BS' and i don't think you're talking 'BS' either i just believe that you need to be more balanced. He can walk away from his family but that will leave him feeling a lot worse if family means anything to him. If it doesn't by all means he can run away for good but i don't believe he feels that way towards his parents. I didn't say the parents were the best role models and like i said i didn't read all the replies so i don't know if they're worse than what i know of however, you're making them seem barbaric which seems a bit over the top. If they were that bad then he should hate them but i don't think he does and parents do want what they believe is best for their children so its not a BS excuse.

    1) I meant easier alternative in the sense that film making is less likely to cause the same amount of pressure he is facing right now. Engineering does seem a lot more difficult than film making. I'm not saying its easy and its definitely not easy to succeed in film making and a lot of people who work really hard still end up working in retail. I just think its a bit too risky to just drop the course to pursue film making which is already a saturated market. I also highly doubt its just a slightly higher employment rate. He shouldn't rush out of the course because that would change his entire life which you cant be sure would be better for him. Work isn't going to be the only thing in his life.

    2) I attended acting classes at a theatre outside of school hours from around the ages 9 to 15. Sooo yeah i did pretty much go out of my way to do acting. I did realise drama wasn't a very stable career option which is one of the main reasons why i dropped it which i thought i had already stated. I never bothered with drama inside secondary school because it wasn't real acting.

    1 & 2) Fair enough if that's the case then sure he should follow his dream however, it makes me wonder how he ended up doing mechanical engineering. Surely if he knew this for so long even with 'abusive' parents he wouldn't have chosen this degree if he knew he was going to hate it. Anyway i'm sure he can still get involved in film making even without a degree in it so i still believe he should stick to the course hes in and then try and work something out. 3) The struggle can be worth it if he firstly, doesn't drop out and then secondly, proceeds to become a successful mechanical engineer. Perhaps the success will bring him happiness and relief. If he is just going to hate every single job he can get with a mechanical engineering degree then sure just drop it but id rather do a job i dislike and have a stable income then a job i like but be stressed if i'm going to pay rent etc. I'm not stating those are the only two options but anything can happen i guess. End of the day he should do what makes him happy but the job isn't everything. He has to weigh up what he finds more important we cant decide that for him so there is no need for debate over this. My overall opinion is that he would be more secure and i believe hes more likely to earn a higher salary if he continues his course. However, he may not be satisfied with the work hes doing. He should pick a side.

    4 & 4.1) I didn't mean he had to provide for his current family i meant like when he has a partner and children etc. He shouldn't have to provide for his parents.

    --

    Okay see this i just don't understand if it applies to me it may apply to him i never said it would apply to him i'm just trying to help him i don't want to argue over this and i never tried to create an 'argument' to begin with i doubt this only applies to me seeing how he seemed so stressed from both school and his parents it may have been nice for him to hear other people can sort of relate i never said everyone does think feel and act the same way i do but seeing how hes asking for advice over this then surely other people stories will help him out here the focus isn't on us its on his story anyway but the more you can relate to it the more you understand what hes going through

    1 2 3) If his parents are that bad then sure just leave them If they cant be happy for him then he cant be happy around them so sure just pack up and gtfo

    However when its comes to family they do deserve second chances because its his family hardly just random friends these are people he should be with for life so he should keep trying to communicate with them as im sure they would rather have a son that is a filmmaker then lose a son completely
 
 
 
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