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    (Lol sorry for the long post in advance)

    It’s been a year and 6 months and I can’t get over my ex. I’m 21 years old now, I can’t see myself moving on or being happy. I don’t enjoy the things I used to, I get emotional almost every time I think about him. I didn’t realise I loved him until he broke it off.

    I met him through friends and we exchanged numbers. I’m shy and awkward so for a while he didn’t think I was interested. He took me out for dinner and we just worked. He was my first like proper kiss (I had kissed someone once before him but it didn’t feel right). I mean we spoke about our future together, kids, marriage lol you name it. I wasn’t being naive I could tell he was just as scared as I was.

    We carried on talking and meeting, he was the perfect gentleman honestly. I guess we were both happy. By the second month I would see him everyday. He would work his schedule around me, we both went uni and worked, so whenever we were both free.

    By the third month I guess he wanted to take things to the next level, I wasn’t ready. He understood at first but it did bother him. He said that was an important part of a relationship for him. We were doing fine but I guess he just couldn’t take it anymore, by month 4 he said he doesn’t have time for me anymore. He said I deserve better, more time and effort. I literally said it’s not funny you’re joking but he said no I’m not, I kept saying it until he left.

    It didn’t hit me then and there but by the time I was on the bus making my way home, I started hysterically crying. Like my mascara was streaming down my face, so I called him asking why, he started to cry and said it was for the best.

    Not long after I found out sex was important to him, and he would rather leave me than lie and stay with me. A few weeks later he contacted me saying he loved me and we should work things out. I couldn’t bring myself round to it and actually forgive him for leaving me like that. He called like 60 times in total and each time I picked up he would be hysterical.

    I didn’t take him back and I’ve never told him I loved him. I don’t think I even knew. I’ve met guys after but it’s just not the same, call me young and dumb but with him it felt like a fairytale. Lol a happily ever after. I want to get over him but I’m crying virtually every night, up at ridiculous hours like now, I want to move on. What’s worse I think it’s put me off being close and intimate with anyone. How can I date anyone if I’m not ready to be physical.

    I don’t know what to do, any advice well if anyone’s awake or has gotten this far down . I would really appreciate it
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    I'm always of the opinion that love, when it really is love, is eternal. My girlfriend left me a year ago and I have this gaping hole in my chest since that experience and just like you, I get mooshy over things for little to no reason, and I can't get attracted to other girls

    However, I do know one thing too, and that's that nothing ever happens per chance. There's a good chance that's someone waiting for people like you and I in that bleak horizon.

    Maybe we should thug it out and stop berating ourselves eh? But just do moment we think we do, we see the picture of a kitten we wanted to buy as our first pet. Back to square one.

    It's a vicious cycle. But I know we'll make it out in one piece. All we need is that catalyst.
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    (Original post by Nyimane)
    I'm always of the opinion that love, when it really is love, is eternal. My girlfriend left me a year ago and I have this gaping hole in my chest since that experience and just like you, I get mooshy over things for little to no reason, and I can't get attracted to other girls

    However, I do know one thing too, and that's that nothing ever happens per chance. There's a good chance that's someone waiting for people like you and I in that bleak horizon.

    Maybe we should thug it out and stop berating ourselves eh? But just do moment we think we do, we see the picture of a kitten we wanted to buy as our first pet. Back to square one.

    It's a vicious cycle. But I know we'll make it out in one piece. All we need is that catalyst.
    I can’t say that didn’t make me laugh, I’ve gotten so lost in the cycle too. I want out lool we should get out. It’s nice to know I’m not a crazy cat lady, I guess the hole in my chest won’t just disappear.
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