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    • Thread Starter

    hey guys,
    im taking a gap year this year as i did not like the univerisity i originally applied for
    (long story).
    i understand that this year can be so positive and fun if i make it but i cant help but
    feel really negative about it and think i need to get off to uni ASAP, eventhough im
    not even ready yet!
    i guess i just feel really unsettled as i have only just got a full time job which starts
    tomorrow, i have moved into my sisters house who is decorating a whole new
    room for me to move into with my niece and i feel i should be so grateful and
    excited but i just dont! I really want to move on now and be excited, earn money,
    plan some and trips to go travelling but i still have a really negative feeling about it all. I know it seems ridiculous because i am lucky to have my sister who has
    helped with everything but i cant help but feel negative and really isolated!
    can someone please give me some encouragment or advise to help me realise
    that this could be the best year of my life if i actually start to be positive.
    i guess im asking how to i change my mindset to be positive again? i feel like
    taking a gap year from university has really knocked my confidence as i am also
    scared to book anything to go travelling because i feel like i wont be able to stick it out, eventhough i went on a three months volunteering trip to nicaragua before
    university and i was absoloutly fine! anyone got any advice? as you can tell im
    very confused at the moment!

    I can relate, it feels like there's so much pressure to have an 'amazing' gap year travelling the world and experiencing new cultures and making friends etc. When really what I need to do is regroup and relax, I'm so drained from college and I'm not ready for uni just yet but I don't like the idea of wasting a year or putting my life on hold. I've gotten a part time job which has helped to fill up my time and get me some cash, and I'm looking to go to Australia in March, but I think I need to just tell myself that it's ok to do nothing for a little while, uni life is going to be hectic so use this time to do whatever you want to do, even if that is sitting on the couch watching Netflix all day.

    You can make this year amazing and you don't need to go abroad to do it, but if that's what you want then start booking/researching things now (even if it's really far in advance) as this will help you feel like you have a purpose and get into a more positive frame of mind. Don't feel trapped, just because you've moved in with your sister does not mean you are tied down there, look at it as a base you can go to and from amongst your travelling, I'm sure your sister will be supportive of your plans so just make sure you're vocal about them so it's clear with everyone that you're not staying in her house long term. Don't put pressure on yourself by wanting this to be the best year of your life, instead look forward to it being an amazing year, but one of many to come in your life, you will be able to travel and have fun for years and years ahead of you so relax.

    I know so many people who have taken a gap year this year so it's definitely a common choice, plus you can go to uni at any age so there's really no rush. I'd really recommend doing some meditating (there's these apps called Headspace and Breathe that do really good little sessions that are under 10 minutes, they're both free!) it'll help you clear your head and make it easier to start planning and focus. As for booking, if you've found something you like and have checked out the reviews and made sure it's legit then go for it! If you go and end up not enjoying it you can come straight back home and potentially get a partial refund, then you can look elsewhere and get straight back out there. Tell yourself you've already done it for 3 months so you know you can do it again!

    You can do this, seriously. Take a few deep breathes and then get excited thinking about all the possibilities there are for the year ahead of you, maybe make a mood board or a mind map type thing, sometimes when there's a lot going on in your head it's good to put it all down on paper.
    Have a great year, but no pressure
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    • Thread Starter

    Wow thank you so much for your reply,
    You are right, after years of education and trying to study hard I find it hard just to realise I don't constantly need to be doing things, however I completely agree with you I really want to make the most of the year!
    As soon as I started the gap year I wrote a CV and applied for a ski season then realised I'm just not ready and I don't need to live up to the pressures of having the stereotypical gap year, as I said earlier I have already done some travelling and I am only eighteen! So I completely relate to you about wanting to just settle now and relax and regroup. I have got myself a job and I'm really excited to work hard, I'm also considering learning Spanish and going back to my gymnastics club to do some volunteering. Also yes your right I need to consider this as my home rather than being isolated and i am now coming to terms with it all and starting to feel a lot more positive!
    Thank you so much for your post, I'm so glad there are people out there that are willing to help and give advice and your post has made me feel a lot better,
    As you can tell I am already feeling a bit more positive and I hope I am able to keep feeling the positivity to make the year amazing,
    Thank you so much for your encouraging reply, it was soooo helpful!
    Also can I ask what you are planning to do with your gap year? I really hope you have a great year too

    Fantastic response by Grace above

    Try to relax and focus on the positives, not everyone needs to conform to the stereotypical gap year. Just try to fill your time which things which are productive or fun even if you don't go abroad you can still do something beneficial to you. One thing I would recommend is trying to have something to aim for or a highlight, as you have already volunteered in Nicaragua maybe you could do something different e.g. go and learn Spanish in Spain on a short term course which you might look back on and think I'm so glad I did that. Or continue to boost your CV so this looks good to future employers and helps you in the long term

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