When my boyfriend and I left for university we had been in a strong year long relationship. We had both been talking about how we should handle a long distance relationship and agreed that the best course of action was to take a 'break' while at uni but still meet in the holidays. I left for uni two weeks before he did and during that time we ended up having a conversation it which we came to the conclusion we should just try and do it the traditional way.
However now he has told be he would like to have an open relationship while at university. I am definitely open to this situation but he doesn't want us to tell each other what has happened with other people. I find this difficult because; one my imagination is likely to run away with me and two not telling each other implies that we need to hide something which feels too close to cheating.
Should I see how not telling each other goes or do I need to stick to the concept of full disclosure?
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Entering into a long distance open relationship. watch
- Thread Starter
- 30-10-2017 11:08
- Community Assistant
- 31-10-2017 10:35
This just sounds like he wants to date other people but not lose you. It doesn't seem like a good situation in my opinion.
However, if you're happy to have an open relationship while at uni, then you need to be completely happy with it. You need to compromise. Maybe instead of telling each other everything, you just tell each other that you "did stuff with someone" but don't go into details, yet you aren't hiding anything because you've told the other person.
If you're going to be having sexual relations with other people then you definitely need to be open about that, especially because of STDs and the likes. It'll also be worth both you and him getting regularly checked for your own safety.
The only way it'll work is if you're completely honest with how you feel.
- 31-10-2017 10:47
You don’t sound like you are fully comfortable with it so DONT DO IT.
As pp has suggested he wants to have his cake and eat it too, which is fine if you are happy with this but you clearly aren’t.
Sadly I think this relationship has come to an end.