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    I'm making this thread to vent a little and maybe find some reassurance...

    This is my 7th week at university and I really would have thought I would be settled by now. However, I still really miss home and I'm not having the wonderful, amazing time that everyone said I would have. I've made friends with my flatmates and we do things together, but I'm always super quiet when I'm with them. I'm quiet anyway because I'm a bit of an introvert, but I just don't have much at all in common with them and don't 'click' with them. I'm desperate to find people like me but it seems an impossible task and the window to make friends seems to be shrinking (no opportunity on the course or the societies I've joined).

    I'm also a bit of a boring person - at least in most people's eyes - because I don't like going out at night to parties, clubs etc and I don't drink. I've tried it and I really can't stand it. This makes me even more different because all of my flatmates love that kind of stuff.

    When everyone is going out at night to get drunk I stay in and so sometimes I'm spending evenings on my own. In the past I really wouldn't mind this, I like being on my own every now and then, but then I start thinking about how I don't have any proper friends and I'm not 'having the time of my life' over and over.

    Sometimes I'm having a really good time and I've had some really enjoyable days and nights, but at other times I feel badly homesick and lonely. Is this normal so late into the term? Does it get better? Will I find my niche group of friends?
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    (Original post by anony5)
    I'm making this thread to vent a little and maybe find some reassurance...

    This is my 7th week at university and I really would have thought I would be settled by now. However, I still really miss home and I'm not having the wonderful, amazing time that everyone said I would have. I've made friends with my flatmates and we do things together, but I'm always super quiet when I'm with them. I'm quiet anyway because I'm a bit of an introvert, but I just don't have much at all in common with them and don't 'click' with them. I'm desperate to find people like me but it seems an impossible task and the window to make friends seems to be shrinking (no opportunity on the course or the societies I've joined).

    I'm also a bit of a boring person - at least in most people's eyes - because I don't like going out at night to parties, clubs etc and I don't drink. I've tried it and I really can't stand it. This makes me even more different because all of my flatmates love that kind of stuff.

    When everyone is going out at night to get drunk I stay in and so sometimes I'm spending evenings on my own. In the past I really wouldn't mind this, I like being on my own every now and then, but then I start thinking about how I don't have any proper friends and I'm not 'having the time of my life' over and over.

    Sometimes I'm having a really good time and I've had some really enjoyable days and nights, but at other times I feel badly homesick and lonely. Is this normal so late into the term? Does it get better? Will I find my niche group of friends?
    have you thought about starting a society yourself if one doesnt exist for your interests?
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    I've been feeling exactly the same! I've been at uni now for 7 weeks too and I thought I would have been really settled by now. I seem to be having all the same problems as you, plus I worry a lot due to my anxiety so that often leads to me overthinking things. I have felt that joining societies has really helped, Ive joined societies for my course, one for something that I have always enjoyed doing at home (horse riding) and also I have joined a yoga society (which I do 3 times a week) and I have never done yoga before. I am still struggling but I have found that joining in with my societies often helps to take my mind away from my anxieties. I hope you start to feel better soon
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    Have you tried to join societies - some events are held in the evening and don't necessarily involve drinking, like bowling or film nights? I guess it is reasonable to still feel homesick, particularly as you feel you haven't made close friends. When I went to university, it took a few weeks before I made friends. I attended a social and got talking to some people, who I found out were living in the same accommodation as me! I also joined a society and made friends with some people who kept attending the same events. It does take time.

    I would try to talk to people more and start conversations with them. I am shy with strangers, but it is the best way to make friends. You start talking with them about their course, or where they are from - something to break the ice. There are others who aren't keen on drinking or the clubbing scene, so this doesn't have to be an barrier to your social life.
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    (Original post by anony5)
    I'm making this thread to vent a little and maybe find some reassurance...

    This is my 7th week at university and I really would have thought I would be settled by now. However, I still really miss home and I'm not having the wonderful, amazing time that everyone said I would have. I've made friends with my flatmates and we do things together, but I'm always super quiet when I'm with them. I'm quiet anyway because I'm a bit of an introvert, but I just don't have much at all in common with them and don't 'click' with them. I'm desperate to find people like me but it seems an impossible task and the window to make friends seems to be shrinking (no opportunity on the course or the societies I've joined).

    I'm also a bit of a boring person - at least in most people's eyes - because I don't like going out at night to parties, clubs etc and I don't drink. I've tried it and I really can't stand it. This makes me even more different because all of my flatmates love that kind of stuff.

    When everyone is going out at night to get drunk I stay in and so sometimes I'm spending evenings on my own. In the past I really wouldn't mind this, I like being on my own every now and then, but then I start thinking about how I don't have any proper friends and I'm not 'having the time of my life' over and over.

    Sometimes I'm having a really good time and I've had some really enjoyable days and nights, but at other times I feel badly homesick and lonely. Is this normal so late into the term? Does it get better? Will I find my niche group of friends?
    I'm sorry to hear this! But uni was like that for me too, sometimes it makes me feel that uni environment are only enjoyable if you're an extrovert or ambivert. I also spend most of my time on my own, but luckily I got my boyfriend with me that time. So it's better than your condition. But u know what? Now that I graduated, I regret this so much, I regret that I didn't go out to have fun and make friends, I regret that I focused too much on only studying and that i miss the opportunities of having friends. All that you have after all, is the friends for the life time. So my suggestion is, don't stop trying to find friends, I'm sure you will find a group of friends you like sooner or later. Try to do this in your first year, cus in 2nd year, most people will already be settled in their friend group, sometimes it's getting harder to join them. I wish you alll the best!
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    (Original post by claireestelle)
    have you thought about starting a society yourself if one doesnt exist for your interests?
    I could try, but I'm not sure what society I would start. Or how I would find the people to start it with! I've heard of sober societies at other universities but I don't know anyone who'd like to start that with me.

    (Original post by zkn12)
    I've been feeling exactly the same! I've been at uni now for 7 weeks too and I thought I would have been really settled by now. I seem to be having all the same problems as you, plus I worry a lot due to my anxiety so that often leads to me overthinking things. I have felt that joining societies has really helped, Ive joined societies for my course, one for something that I have always enjoyed doing at home (horse riding) and also I have joined a yoga society (which I do 3 times a week) and I have never done yoga before. I am still struggling but I have found that joining in with my societies often helps to take my mind away from my anxieties. I hope you start to feel better soon
    Sorry to hear you're feeling unsettled too. I overthink things terribly - it's definitely the major thing making this problem worse. I've joined a sports society which is fun and a society related to my course but I'm yet to do anything with them. I'm sure things will start improving for the both of us soon enough :P

    (Original post by May-o2q)
    I'm sorry to hear this! But uni was like that for me too, sometimes it makes me feel that uni environment are only enjoyable if you're an extrovert or ambivert. I also spend most of my time on my own, but luckily I got my boyfriend with me that time. So it's better than your condition. But u know what? Now that I graduated, I regret this so much, I regret that I didn't go out to have fun and make friends, I regret that I focused too much on only studying and that i miss the opportunities of having friends. All that you have after all, is the friends for the life time. So my suggestion is, don't stop trying to find friends, I'm sure you will find a group of friends you like sooner or later. Try to do this in your first year, cus in 2nd year, most people will already be settled in their friend group, sometimes it's getting harder to join them. I wish you alll the best!
    I am going out every now and then, just not to clubs. It's often fun but I'm always painfully aware of how quiet I am and how everyone else seems to get on a lot better than I do with them. Hopefully I just need to give it more time. Thanks for the reply
 
 
 
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