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Mental health suffering, family conflict, crying everyday watch

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    I am so emotionally at the moment I cry every night and I’m almost just about had it. I left school in 2016 June and I’ve quit about 4 things being college, sixform, and 2 jobs. Because I have very bad social anxiety I struggle to speak in front of people and as soon as I hear I have to do something such as presentations or read I just leave.
    Im now doing an apprenticeship in admin at a doctors surgery which I hate it’s something I’m not interested in one bit but I took up the opportunity as I had nothing else to do. I am interested in events management but can’t seem to find any apprenticeships For it.
    My mother is not supportive at all she tells me I’m lazy and doesn’t believe social anxiety is a thing I call in sick so much because I can’t deal with people I’d rather be in bed all day being upset in a dark room.
    I am fed up and need some advice or at least someone to tell me things will be ok.
    I have a boyfriend as well but I’m so insecure I just feel like he is going to leave me and he’s literally al I have but he works everyday and has college as well most days I see him once a week and I just feel so annoying. He says I need to give him space because I used to want to call him every night but now he says he just Just needs alone time.
    I feel ugly and like my life’s going nowhere and I just don’t know what to do. My best friend has even had it with me
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    Hi. You are being so hard on yourself. It is okay to feel the things that you are feeling, and if anybody tells you otherwise they are wrong. When considering those in your life, your boyfriend, mom and best friend..explain to them. Tell them how you are feeling, what they can do to help you. Maybe talking to them about it in more detail could relieve you and give you the support that you need. If you can't do this I would suggest the samaritans, as you can text, email, phone, or even go into see someone. When I was struggling I emailed them and talking to a stranger about my problems was easier due to the fact that it was more private. It helped pinpoint the things I needed to focus on and then I started to become better and they provide you with support 24/7.

    For job wise having social anxiety is such a hard thing, but maybe you can talk to those you work with about it. They should be there to support you. Talking to people is difficult on its own, especially when you have anxiety but take it one step at a time. Focus on little triumphs you've made and do things that make you confident, whether that be from wearing your hair a certain way or pushing yourself more. Just breathe. Don't worry what you seem to others, focus on yourself and your mental well being, you will thank yourself later on. It will be okay and one day you will find the right way to manage your anxiety and also a way to do something in events managements, but for now put yourself first and take time to care for your health. I hope this helped you in some way.
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