Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Depression is ruining my life Watch

Announcements
    • Thread Starter
    Online

    7
    ReputationRep:
    I am in my last year of uni and have always found it difficult to make friends etc due to social anxiety but at uni I managed to make some amazing friends but my best friend ended our friendship and since then things have just been getting worse. I have tried being more sociable and going out with my housemates but when I do it just really drives home how different I am from them and how hard it is for me to talk to people. They will introduce me to people and I still won't even talk. My housemates meet new people on nights out and I end up just standing there awkwardly. I have had depression for a while but it has always been manageable by me and hasn't been too much of a problem but the last few weeks have been horrible. I have been having thoughts I just don;t want etc. and I don't know what to do.

    I think it all stems from the fact i find it hard to talk to people but I just don't know what to do or how to change it. Does anyone have any advice? Thank you
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    I can relate. I have managed to overcome this by focusing on my career. I have become a career-oriented person and managed to spend my time on internships or attending workshops etc.

    I think somewhere down, I still feel lonely, but so much focus on my career has allowed me to look forward to something.

    Giving you advice on how to talk to someone or be more open or social is not going to work since it hasn't worked for me. I would suggest you take on a hobby. Read books, or join a uni club. Although this didn't work for, I do think it is the best option.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by michael1010)
    I am in my last year of uni and have always found it difficult to make friends etc due to social anxiety but at uni I managed to make some amazing friends but my best friend ended our friendship and since then things have just been getting worse. I have tried being more sociable and going out with my housemates but when I do it just really drives home how different I am from them and how hard it is for me to talk to people. They will introduce me to people and I still won't even talk. My housemates meet new people on nights out and I end up just standing there awkwardly. I have had depression for a while but it has always been manageable by me and hasn't been too much of a problem but the last few weeks have been horrible. I have been having thoughts I just don;t want etc. and I don't know what to do.

    I think it all stems from the fact i find it hard to talk to people but I just don't know what to do or how to change it. Does anyone have any advice? Thank you
    When you say you've had "depression" for a while, do you mean that you have been diagnosed with clinical depression, and have tried a formal treatment programme (eg CBT or anti-depressant)? If so, what didn't work for you? If not, why not try speaking to your GP and/or welfare services to arrange that?

    Meantime, one thought is to seek out a social situation where the burden isn't on you to make the approach, or to keep the interaction going. Some hobby clubs/societies are good for that. But things like volunteer work where you are working as part of a team on a specific task might be better? For instance, in a food bank or a homelessness or asylum-seeker support project (I bet there will be a soup kitchen or some project arranging stuff for Xmas atm) ? What about an animal charity/shelter? That would have the advantage of helping you to feel good about what you are doing anyway?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Awww, dont so much worry. Your problem is about communication which everyone gets it but maybe other kind of. I think "difficult to make friends" is not so terrible because its positive side is help u select good friend who really fit to you.
    • Thread Starter
    Online

    7
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by OxFossil)
    When you say you've had "depression" for a while, do you mean that you have been diagnosed with clinical depression, and have tried a formal treatment programme (eg CBT or anti-depressant)? If so, what didn't work for you? If not, why not try speaking to your GP and/or welfare services to arrange that?

    Meantime, one thought is to seek out a social situation where the burden isn't on you to make the approach, or to keep the interaction going. Some hobby clubs/societies are good for that. But things like volunteer work where you are working as part of a team on a specific task might be better? For instance, in a food bank or a homelessness or asylum-seeker support project (I bet there will be a soup kitchen or some project arranging stuff for Xmas atm) ? What about an animal charity/shelter? That would have the advantage of helping you to feel good about what you are doing anyway?
    My GP said I have minor depression and yeah I have tried CBT but it didn't do anything and I didn't really like taking anti-depressants and they didn't seem to do much anyway
    I joined a society at uni which I go to regularly but I barely talk to anyone there and I end up just sitting in silence listening to everyone elses conversations
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by michael1010)
    I joined a society at uni which I go to regularly but I barely talk to anyone there and I end up just sitting in silence listening to everyone elses conversations
    Yes, it can be really hard going. I don't think there's any easy answers, but I'd be looking out for things where there's a sort of formulaic interaction between you and other people and the focus is on a shared task rather than depending on who is the best at conversation. Stops you fretting the whole time about how you aren't fitting in etc etc
    • Thread Starter
    Online

    7
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by OxFossil)
    Yes, it can be really hard going. I don't think there's any easy answers, but I'd be looking out for things where there's a sort of formulaic interaction between you and other people and the focus is on a shared task rather than depending on who is the best at conversation. Stops you fretting the whole time about how you aren't fitting in etc etc
    Yeah the society I am at has a lot of one on one interaction where you need to work with others a lot and you need to keep changing the people you are working with and for the most part there I don't have much of an issue but it is as soon as I am in a larger group setting I just don;t tend to talk unless we're playing a game or something.
    • #1
    #1

    I'm in my final year at uni as well. Depression and anxiety has actually ruined my entire experience at uni. However I am getting help from the uni and starting CBT soon and I'm actually so happy about it. At least I know I'll learn how to get better and prevent myself from ending up in a similar situation in the future. Maybe try get some help or talking to someone that you trust. Also you should know that you're not alone. So many people are unhappy and don't know how to get help or what sort of help they need. Your uni experience sounds so much better than mine
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I've tried CBT in the past, and found it really didn't do much good for me personally. I'm not a huge fan of taking Anti Depressants because of the state they get me into, but I don't think I have much choice soon. I've started getting disciplined in regards to missing lectures, as of yesterday.
    Shits rough, hopefully it's gonna get better.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: November 7, 2017
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Will you be richer or poorer than your parents?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.