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second cousin
OK, my second cousin, who I have never ever get to meet, called to ask me if he could stay at my place for a week. Does anyone think this is rude? What should I do, just let him stay?
Had it been a first cousin in this situation, I would understand, but we aren't closely related, what the hell?
Had it been a first cousin in this situation, I would understand, but we aren't closely related, what the hell?
Scroll to see replies
Reply 1
Say you're busy if you don't want him to stay?
His position might be that it's his final thought before having to spend money on a hotel and he's taking a chance.
If you've never met him though and don't feel comfortable, just explain you can't that week or summat.
His position might be that it's his final thought before having to spend money on a hotel and he's taking a chance.
If you've never met him though and don't feel comfortable, just explain you can't that week or summat.
Reply 2
21
well i assume it's your cousins son?
so talk to your cousin about it?
so talk to your cousin about it?
Reply 3
You seriously want me to waste my time on a semantics discussion?
****ing hell. If you're prepared to let strangers into your house who you've never met who just happen to be first cousins, then why not second cousins? He's no more or less likely to rob/murder you. This comes down to who you are as a person, not to mention his reasons for staying; it might be rude, or on the other hand he might have a genuine reason and you're just getting offended at nothing. Who knows? Personally, I don't care; this discussion is nothing more than semantics, it's silly.
****ing hell. If you're prepared to let strangers into your house who you've never met who just happen to be first cousins, then why not second cousins? He's no more or less likely to rob/murder you. This comes down to who you are as a person, not to mention his reasons for staying; it might be rude, or on the other hand he might have a genuine reason and you're just getting offended at nothing. Who knows? Personally, I don't care; this discussion is nothing more than semantics, it's silly.
Reply 4
choco6
OP
1
mum's cousin's son
Reply 5
Ps, yeah I think it's kinda rude lol
Reply 6
choco6
OP
1
generalebriety
You seriously want me to waste my time on a semantics discussion?
you don't have to answer, you know
Reply 7
you've literally never met him or you rarely meet him?
either way he's family, let him stay. unless he was a really ass about it or really impolite...I assume he had like a good reason to ask.
either way he's family, let him stay. unless he was a really ass about it or really impolite...I assume he had like a good reason to ask.
Reply 8
choco6
you don't have to answer, you know
You don't have to ask ridiculous questions. What difference does it make whether he's a first cousin or a second cousin? You've never met him. If you want to let him into your home - which, incidentally, I'm not saying is a good or a bad idea - that's entirely up to you, but it shouldn't be dependent on how he is related to you.
Reply 9
Rude would be turning up on your door step. Asking beforehand is surely polite? Either way, he might just need a place to crash for a while, or he might be in trouble. I'd like to think that if I really needed to, even distant relatives I don't know would help.
Unless this guy is a rapist/murderer/drug-dealer/all three, in which case, just say no.
Unless this guy is a rapist/murderer/drug-dealer/all three, in which case, just say no.
Reply 10
11
Why is it such a huge problem? I've recently got to meet my second cousins and they're awesome - why not meet him?
Reply 11
Tell him if he can cook a decent meal he's in.
Reply 12
Maybe he has a crush on you?
squeak
well i assume it's your cousins son?
so talk to your cousin about it?
so talk to your cousin about it?
cousin's son = first cousin once removed
Reply 14
19
generalebriety
You don't have to ask ridiculous questions. What difference does it make whether he's a first cousin or a second cousin? You've never met him. If you want to let him into your home - which, incidentally, I'm not saying is a good or a bad idea - that's entirely up to you, but it shouldn't be dependent on how he is related to you.
Load of rubbish. I, for one, believe the family bond is of the utmost significance. If someone revealed themselves to be my long-lost brother or sister, I would undoubtedly become enormously loyal to them simply because of that.
Anyway, I'd let him stay.
Reply 15
Why does he want to stay at yours?
Do you have room?
Is it going to massively inconvenience you if he stays?
Personally I think if he has a good reason and it won't put you to too much trouble, you might as well let him stay. Who knows, maybe you'll get on really well and have a new friend. And if not, well, it's only a week, and then you'll never have to see him again if you don't want to.
Do you have room?
Is it going to massively inconvenience you if he stays?
Personally I think if he has a good reason and it won't put you to too much trouble, you might as well let him stay. Who knows, maybe you'll get on really well and have a new friend. And if not, well, it's only a week, and then you'll never have to see him again if you don't want to.
Reply 16
21
PinkMobilePhone
cousin's son = first cousin once removed
reeeeally? I never knew that...I wondered where the removed comes from.
Reply 17
Why haven't you met yet..is it because of living so far away or what? And can you not just as your mum what sort of person he is..I assume she has met him? Or just accept he is family and welcome him to your home?
squeak
reeeeally? I never knew that...I wondered where the removed comes from.
different generation.
You are of the same generation as your cousin, but not of the same generation as his son, so that's why it's removed. Your cousin's grandson would be your first cousin twice removed.
Reply 19
choco6
OP
1
hayles101
Why haven't you met yet..is it because of living so far away or what? And can you not just as your mum what sort of person he is..I assume she has met him? Or just accept he is family and welcome him to your home?
yeah, we live really far away, they used to live in the US till a couple of years ago, and there's quite an age gap (8-9 years) between us.
Anyway, a second cousin is not exactly a close relative
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